


Children of YoRHa

by MysticDragon



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: A2 has a potty mouth, AU, Angst, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Child Death, Child Soldiers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Angst, Explicit Language, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, Human Experimentation, Humans, Mad Science, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Slice of Life, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21649441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticDragon/pseuds/MysticDragon
Summary: World War IV has ravaged the world; the Allies fighting against the dictatorship-loving and cruel Empire kept hitting hurdle after hurdle as their soldiers had to constantly go up against robots and even enemy soldiers with implants to make them faster and stronger than ordinary humans.That was when an idea was sprung to counter all of that:  Train up children from a young age into the perfect soldiers.By the age of ten, many of them could fight on par, if not better, than the adults.They are an elite fighting and tactical unit...they are the Children of YorHa.Yet, not all of them are satisfied with their life on the battlefield.  When young 9S starts asking questions, it not only prompts his friends to do likewise but opens the door to some rather frightening hidden truths tucked away in the bowls of the facility bunker they operate from.
Relationships: 2B & 9S (NieR: Automata)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hrm...not sure what to put here. It's been a while since I've uploaded any fanfiction, and the first time I'm uploading to AO3. So, please bear with me as I learn the formatting and whatnot. Updates will be every Monday and Friday, barring unforseen circumstances. Tags will probably be added as I remember things for them
> 
> This is an AU fic, and it does involve children fighting in a war (although there aren't too many battlefield scenes). I do not condone such a thing, and if that (and panic attacks) triggers or disturbs you, then please either don't read or just take caution when reading. 
> 
> There might be some slight OOC as well since it's an AU, though I tried to keep them somewhat "in character". Finally, there are no original characters; all of the other numbered units have appeared in either the concert script, sidequests, ect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hrm...not sure what to put here. It's been a while since I've uploaded any fanfiction, and the first time I'm uploading to AO3. So, please bear with me as I learn the formatting and whatnot. Updates will be every Monday and Friday, barring unforseen circumstances. Tags will probably be added as I remember things for them
> 
> This is an AU fic, and it does involve children fighting in a war (although there aren't too many battlefield scenes). I do not condone such a thing, and if that (and panic attacks) triggers or disturbs you, then please either don't read or just take caution when reading.
> 
> There might be some slight OOC as well since it's an AU, though I tried to keep them somewhat "in character". Finally, there are no original characters; all of the other numbered units have appeared in either the concert script, sidequests, ect.

At an indoor training grounds with a field ahead of them containing an obstacle course for today's training, a woman with long platinum blond braided hair in a black military uniform paced in front of a group of children ranging from the age of nine to fourteen years, all of whom dressed in off-white boots, gray pants, and gray track suits.

The field itself was large and was at least twice the size of a standard track and field pitch, while the walls, though somewhat obvious, gave an illusion of it being mid-morning due to the technology projecting the mid-morning clear sky and fake sun along the "walls".

Various military training equipment were stored in doors along one side of the wall, along with a control room where the field could be changed depending on the training and the needs. It could be turned into a swimming pool, shooting range, a field for tactical training, ect...or in this case, an advanced military obstacle course.

The woman, Commander White, had her hands clasped behind her back as she walked up and down the kids who stood at attention while she spoke.

"...and don't think I didn't hear about yesterday's horrific performance on the training drills! My absence does _not_ mean that you lot get to slack off! This war is important, and you are all here to _win_ it for us. When the enemy sees children, they lower their guard. When those children wield weapons, they often can't even bring themselves to harm them.

" _You_ are those children...children of YoRHa! You are an elite squadron to combat the Empire robots and soldiers with ability increasing implants. As such, it is imperative that you complete your missions as well as train _properly_! Your intelligence is higher than that of those 'normal' soldiers fighting due to your mental training. You have all been doing drills here since you graduated from the stage of 'toddlers'. 6O!"

A girl near the end of the line with the older kids, at thirteen with blond hair in twin braids and brown eyes, snapped to attention from the at-ease position. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Why does your report say that you were hit during field training..."

Which under training circumstances were similar to painball-like war-games but with actual battlefield training taken into account.

"...because you were _chatting_ with another _soldier_?"

6O had the decency to blush and look ashamed of her behavior as her brown eyes flitted to the ground briefly. "I...I'm sorry, Commander. It won't happen again!"

White huffed. "See to it that it doesn't! You're one of the older soldiers, so you should be setting an example for the younger ones just coming into active combat and thus being part of this current group!"

6O bowed her head. "Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am."

White nodded, then her gaze fell on another unfortunate soul. This time, a younger boy with black hair and hazel eyes. "4S!"

The boy, who was about eleven, stood at attention nervously. "Yes, ma'am?"

"The report indicated that you did not do your job properly as a scout, and instead decided to join one of the battle units. Is this true?" White grilled him.

4S shifted a little guiltily. "I..."

White's glare pierced him.

"Yes, ma'am! I'm sorry, ma'am!" 4S babbled as he stood ramrod straight.

"And I suppose it won't happen again." It wasn't a question.

"No, ma'am!" 4S honestly seemed remorseful, though those who knew him were pretty sure he was more remorseful at being caught.

White was also of this belief. "Didn't think that you would be caught, did you."

4S bowed his head shamefully.

"Thought so." White interjected. "As you clearly do not fully feel remorseful about your behavior, you will be on latrine cleaning duty for a week."

"A...a week?!" 4S squeaked out.

"Would you like it to be a month?"

"No, ma'am!" 4S was quick to correct himself. "A week of latrine duty for leaving my designated position during active combat training is more than sufficient, ma'am!"

"Hopefully, you'll have learned your lesson after a week of scrubbing toilets since you clearly haven't." White snorted.

4S felt his cheeks heat up, though this time in genuine shame for his behavior.

White's eyes drifted to a girl who stood near 4S at a sloppy attention, her white hair down to her shoulderblades and her green eyes with a bored glint. "A2!"

Unlike the others, A2 didn't snap to attention immediately. Rather, she almost lazily went from at-ease to at-attention.

White snarled. "This is _not_ a good time to start in with your attitude, A2. You were the leader of the unit 4S decided to join. Why did you let a Scout join your group, knowing he was breeching protocol?"

A2 lazily met the angered woman's gaze. "Cause I didn't give a fuck."

There were a few cringes from the kids near her, though by all rights they should be used to A2's attitude at this point.

Some of the newer nine year olds looked over with wide eyes at the audacity someone had to actually _speak back_ to the Commander like that.

White curled her lip. "Watch your _cheek_ , A2. As a platoon leader, it's your _duty_ to make sure everyone is where they're supposed to be, because their _lives_ are on your shoulders!"

A2 didn't look at all impressed. "I didn't think our lives mattered. Every time someone dies, we don't even get to mourn before some little nine year old shit takes their place."

There were muffled gasps from the new nine year olds in the group.

White's glare became downright murderous. "That is _not_ true. We care about all who nobly sacrifice themselves so that civilians don't have to."

A2 snorted. "Like hell..."

"A2!" White interrupted. "You can join 4S on latrine duty, only you'll be serving for the entire month! And I _highly suggest_ that you stop digging your grave even deeper! You are a squad leader because your adeptness in combat has been recognized, but you can easily be stripped of your title if you continue this attitude!"

A2 glowered. "Better Scouts like 4S be in my group where I can see them than sneaking ahead onto enemy lines to get gunned down!"

"That's the risk that Scouts take! They have special training, much like your combat special training, so they don't get caught." White snapped. "You'd do well to _remember that_."

A2 frowned as her eyes blazed in defiance.

White stared down at the child.

Silence reigned over the group.

A couple of the nine year olds fidgeted uncomfortably, but the older ones knew not to move a muscle even if they wanted to do the same.

Finally, at a nudge from someone next to her, A2 relented. "Understood."

White raised a brow.

Another nudge.

A2 scowled. "... _ma'am_."

White didn't look placated in the least, and the nine through fourteen year olds knew that A2 was in for being singled out yet again during today's training and pushed harder than them for her insubordination. That, and most likely...

White had a snarl on her lips. "Everyone but A2, drop and give me fifty!"

A2's glower intensified as the kids hurried to comply.

White glared right back. "You _will_ learn your place, A2. Do you think giving everyone else pushups to do is cruel to them? Painful? I don't need to explain to _you_ the pain of losing a squad member."

A2's eyes flashed between rage and sorrow as her jaw clenched tightly.

White nodded to her. "You are the Team Alpha leader. _Act like it_."

By then, the kids had finished doing their pushups and scrambled back to their feet.

The nine year olds were a little slower in finishing, but still managed to perform their task.

White's gaze swept the kids, then she stopped. She looked over at the group lined up again, then looked again.

Everyone stood at-ease and tried not to fidget or grimace under the glare of the Commander.

Finally, Commander White hissed out quietly: " _Where_...is 9S?"

Heads turned from the younger ones, while the older kids knew better than to look around (though they tried to with their eyes, anyway).

Commander White went down the line until she got to a ten year old girl with chin-length silver-white hair and blue-gray eyes. "2B, you seem to get along with him. Do you know where 9S is?"

"No, ma'am," 2B responded crisply. "I have not seen him since breakfast."

White resisted the urge to run a hand down her face. "Give you brats an _inch_ and you take a mile...must I put supervision on all of you?"

The kids all winced, as that was the last thing they wanted. They were allowed things like free time/down-time in order to recuperate and stay motivated, and none of them liked to have any of the older soldiers who helped run their training facility monitoring them.

Typically, that was something only the four to seven year olds needed; to be assigned monitors meant that they were _babies_.

White searched 2B's eyes, but the girl obviously was telling the truth. So, she turned to the line of kids. "Do _any_ of you know where 9S is?"

A chorus of "no, ma'am" was the response.

"Has anyone seen 9S since breakfast?" White was going to flay the boy.

"No, ma'am."

White counted backwards from ten, then smirked. "Well then, I hope you all enjoy having escorts for the week."

Looks of horror filled their faces, while a couple weren't able to suppress their groans, and A2 actually spat a curse.

White felt better knowing that the sneaky little curious imp was going to get his dues via the rest of the group of kids if their sour expressions were anything to go by. "Yes, that's what will happen. If he manages to turn up before this morning's training is over, I _might_ reconsider."

It was moot for them to hope; this wasn't the first time 9S didn't show up to training, and when he didn't, he was usually trying to sate his curiosity over something and typically wouldn't turn up until dinner.

...at which point, he would be hauled off by the ear and punished.

White did individually punish everyone if they misbehaved, as did the other Commanders and leaders. However, she had learned from the adult army about group punishment, and had started to employ some of those tactics over the past year.

Kids were cruel, and perhaps if the little brat's peers dogged him enough, he would stop poking his nose where it didn't belong.

White paused a moment to pull out her radio and flip it on. "This is Commander White with a bulletin for patrolling soldiers. Number Nine, designation 'S', is once again snooping around somewhere. Should you find him, put him in Solitary and inform me immediately."

Even though the kids were angry at 9S for requiring them to get an escort for a week, a few (such as 6O, 2B, and even A2) grimaced. A2, especially, as she had been in Solitary before; it was not a nice place.

White said a few more things while the kids were thinking of what would happen to 9S (or what they were going to do to him when they saw him for getting them assigned an escort for a week), then she turned to the group and called them to attention to begin training.

She didn't notice the concerned look on the face of 2B and the brief glance at the door before the girl hurriedly joined the other kids to run around the track as a warm-up before they would be tackling the advanced obstacle course. _Nines...what have you gotten yourself into, this time?_

* * *

9S did not like fighting; he would rather be reading in the facility library or accessing the databanks in the computer lab...which was where he currently was after hacking the password to the door.

He was a little shorter than the other ten year olds, with silvery-white hair and blue eyes.

He knew that he was missing advanced "basic" training, but he just _had_ to know!

9S had been reading a book which was a novelized version of some sort of poem about a girl from a country called "China" who had gone to war in place of her father.

 _Father_.

It wasn't the first time 9S had encountered such terms in the books he read.

_Father._

_Mother._

_Brother._

_Sister._

Aunts and Uncles, cousins, grandparents...

9S wanted to know more about that; about a _family_.

It sort of sounded like a military unit, but at the same time it sounded different.

9S stared at the information about families on the screen. _A family is a group of people related by ties of blood, adoption, or marriage who live together as one unit and socialize with each other._

He found some articles as he continued. _Woa! This mother lifted a **car** to save her kid! And this one ran into a burning building..._

9S felt a pang in his heart as he bit his lip. _I...I want that._

He, like everyone else, had no memories of his parents. None of them ever cried for their "mommy" or "daddy", because there _were_ no mommies or daddies.

9S tried to recall his first memories, but they were hazy. _I remember...white coats. Doctors, maybe? Not much after that...then I remember a classroom and meeting 2B. I think I was four or five then._

What had he been doing prior to that? Who were his parents?

9S had attempted to find floor plans of the facility before, but _those_ encryptions were too much even for _him_. He was able to find the ones they let the kids know of, but he didn't even know the true size or extent of the facility.

_We're always confined to one floor. Our rooms, mess hall, toilets...they're all on the same floor. Library, enclosed "outdoor" recreation space, classrooms, and even the huge training room are all on the same floor._

Yet, he had definitely come across locked doors, and sometimes heard noises at night from above.

9S attempted to get into any locked door he found, but had yet to be completely successful.

Then again, it'd make sense if there was more than one floor since he only saw military personnel on this floor as well as kids in the nine to fourteen age bracket. The younger ones _had_ to be somewhere...as did the older ones, right?

9S quietly sounded the word out on his tongue again. "Family."

He had heard a few men and women talking about their families when deployed on the battlefield. Usually, the adult soldiers didn't talk to the YoRHa units; their squadron.

Where were their families? Their parents? On another floor? But why weren't they allowed to interact with them?

Asking questions was never taken very well, and 9S usually wound up scrubbing toilets whenever he tried to ask one of the facility staff about it.

Or anything not related to combat, really.

9S had even attempted to catch a glimpse of the facility when they were deployed, but they were either put onto a plane with no windows, or the back of a truck with no windows. He counted seconds and found that by his calculations, the war zone they typically were sent to was quite a few miles away.

Did the facility take up a large amount of space? How much of those miles were them just leaving the facility?

9S clued back in when the website finally loaded. _Kids are born. Women give birth to kids._ He wrinkled his nose slightly at the images of childbirth in front of him. _Ew!_

Yet at the same time, he was fascinated.

Was he born this way, too?

_Sometimes mothers die after labor due to complications, but the mortality rate has dropped significantly due to an increase in technology which has spread to the medical field._

Well, that made sense. There were a bunch of them who got deployed, so it wasn't like _all_ of their mothers could have died giving birth to them.

9S continued to scroll and read, taking in the pictures of babies... _they look like little red potatoes_...in incubators while medically checked, as well as with their mothers.

In hospitals.

In homes...

Things like cribs, cradles, playpens, baby toys...

9S had no memories of those.

He also had never seen any of those objects around the facility.

An odd longing bubbled up in his chest, and he wondered why the screen was blurry for a moment before he felt the tear roll down his cheek.

9S sniffled and wiped it away. _Huh? Why am I crying thinking about parents? It...it makes my chest feel tight, too. It hurts._

He wasn't a stranger to feelings; rather, 9S was more in touch with them and had always been more prone to emotional outbursts than many of the other kids.

Especially the one time he was thrown into Solitary.

9S shuddered and tried to push that from his mind.

"I should have asked Twoobs if she wanted to come...nah, she wouldn't have." 9S mumbled to himself to fill the quiet void of being alone. _A2 might have. She can be a little mean and blunt, but she doesn't care for the rules here._

Frankly, it was amazing both he and A2 hadn't been shot out back or something between his rulebreaking and her attitude.

_Are we...a family?_

9S wanted that. Things like hugs and comfort...he would run to 2B for even though she was awkward at it. Nobody else even tried to comfort him if he was feeling down...well, except 6O. A2 would tease him or say something blunt which usually just made it worse.

Why couldn't they have parents like in these pictures?

A mom and dad who hugged them if they had a bad dream of blood and death...

9S didn't like killing, either. It was easier when they were up against enemy robots, but not when they were expected to fight the other humans.

As a Scout, he usually didn't have to shoot or stab them to death, but that didn't mean he wouldn't see it.

It wasn't...wasn't _normal_.

Sure, everyone else would say it was, but from what he had read, kids were usually out playing and having fun.

Not fighting for their lives in a war.

9S bit his lip. _Why are we different? Why can't we have any of that? The only 'games' we all know are related to combat._

Even hide-and-seek, which Scouts were taught before the other kids, wasn't innocent when played in the base.

9S reached out and touched the screen where a photo of a mother was holding her child with a look of...of...

He had never seen such a _soft_ expression before besides in other pictures he came across when he was younger.

Even when 2B would give him a pat on the head when he cried...she never had that sort of expression.

9S wanted it, though; craved it.

None of the others were too interested in his tales from the outside world he found from the dregs of books and when he would sneak off to hack to the interwebs.

He still couldn't fully hack the facility's server, but a year ago he had found a way to hack _out_ of it to reach the outside world.

A2 was the only one who was truly interested in his talk of it, though 2B would also listen.

Everyone else just told him he was crazy or weird.

Everyone else, save perhaps A2 and A4, just accepted that the base and fighting was all there was to life. Even 2B followed her orders properly, though 9S had seen the slightly curious glint in her eyes she tried to hide when he spoke of things like water slides, swings, and shopping malls.

The other kids shunned that sort of talk.

"Crazy talk", they'd call it.

And it typically ended up with him scrubbing toilets or running laps after being screamed at.

But 9S couldn't help it; he just _wanted to know_.

He didn't even know why they had to fight!

"Because they're the enemy" only went so far.

9S wiped his eyes again and scrolled down the page slowly. _I want that. I wonder...what happens when the war ends? What'll happen to us? Will we be reunited with our parents?_

It was what Commander White had told him the first (and only) time he asked her about parents after reading a book.

9S wanted to turn his thoughts off, but he just couldn't. "What if" was a common question of his, as well as "why" and "how".

And it wasn't just on one subject, but everything. He just wanted to _know_. He wanted to _learn_. He would prefer to sit in front of a computer screen hungrily taking in every tidbit of information over having to infiltrate enemy lines to hack into a database.

He wanted to know more about the facility where as far as he could tell, he had lived all his life.

He wanted to know more about the outside world.

He wanted...

A family.

"Can't always get what we want." 9S tried to remind himself, but then bit his lip as that thought made him want to cry.

Instead, he just continued to get completely enraptured by the information on the screen; from family to attempting to hack into the facility database again (which failed, and he barely was able to disconnect before it would trigger alarms)...to just facts about animals like birds and a giant, hoofed furry thing with twin spears on its head called a "moose".

9S lost himself in the spiral of cramming it into his head to the point that he didn't even realize the time until the dinner bell rang.

"Crap!" 9S yelped as he finally caught sight of the time. Quickly yet methodically, in a practiced motion, he deleted his presence from the computer and the network and restored all firewalls before he shut the machine off and slunk out of the room.

If there was one perk to being a Scout, it meant that even in the white hallways of the base, he could usually duck around to avoid detection.

Usually.

Well, mostly all the time now. It had taken him a little while, but he had learned all of the patrol patterns and times so he knew when and how to avoid being caught sneaking around for information.

Despite all of that, 9S still didn't allow himself to relax until he mingled in with the others at the just as dull, monochromatic colored mess hall without detection.

A little grin pulled at his lips as he grabbed a tray while in line. _Safe! Wait till Twoobs hears about what I found this time!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried going back to edit the notes in these sections in hopes that AO3 would stop posting the end-note from this chapter into the other chapters; seems to be working.  
> So anyway, that's the first chapter! Not much has happened yet, but we've only just begun...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I discovered the page-break/line formatting! Yay! Maybe I can better organize the chapters, now. 
> 
> Quick note on the characters: Obviously, they're going to be a little OOC (or a lot OOC) since this is an AU. For example, looking back on it, 9S doesn't show a lot of the snark he occasionally showed in the game (to be fair, it's much more apparent with the Japanese voice acting, and I just saw that recently).  
> Also, none of the characters in this chapter are OCs. They were mentioned or used at some point either in the game or other canon material.  
> I don't recall the personalities of many of them so I made something up, but they're minor/background characters anyway.

* * *

It didn't take 9S long to find his friends. Sure, all of the kids in the mess hall sat at various long tables and had varying colors of hair (mostly black, brown, blond, platinum-blond, and even white in some cases), but 9S would probably be able to find 2B if they had cloned her and asked him which was the real one.

That, and she always tried to sit on the end of whichever table she happened to be seated at that day.

He didn't pay much attention to the oddly larger number of adult personnel in the room, though he filed that in the back of his mind to find out about later.

"Twoobs!" 9S chirped as he was about to squeeze between her and another member of their squadron...

...when the girl next to 2B just gave him a glare, grabbed her tray, and left.

In fact, a couple of them did the exact same thing.

9S wasn't exactly _popular_ , but he had never been outright _glared at_ like that.

He wasn't sure what he did to anger what looked to be everyone in their squad, but it made him quiet down and duck his head slightly.

"Uh, Twoobs?" 9S whispered to his friend. "Why is everyone glaring at me?"

Even A2, who sat across from them, was giving him a look of pure _death_. A4, who normally was fairly easy-going, also suddenly looked like she had sucked on a lemon when she saw him.

Heck, even _6O_ gave him a baleful glance for a moment!

9S swallowed against a lump in his throat as his good mood evaporated under the heat of their glares. "Twoobs...?"

It was A2 who answered. "Your stupid ass caused _all_ of us to have to deal with _escorts_ for a damn _week_!"

In light of that punishment, the pushups A2 had caused them to be forced to do had been water under the bridge in their eyes.

Especially the older kids/teenagers, and the younger ones who had just _finally_ gotten free of having lieutenants making sure they did what they were supposed to do.

"And who knows what else Commander White will think of to add to it," A4 added with a large frown at him before she grabbed her tray and stood up to relocate.

9S pushed his fork around his plate. "Sorry..."

A2 snorted. "No you're not. Cause you keep fucking running off periodically to skip training and getting the _rest_ of us in trouble!"

Grumbles went up from the surrounding area:

"Yea."

"Good going, 9S."

"Stay lost next time."

9S flushed in embarrassment...and a little anger. "I didn't know you were all going to get in trouble...!"

A2 rolled her eyes as she grabbed her tray to stand up since A4 had vacated. "With the Commander doing group punishments lately? You, who claim you're _smart_ , couldn't figure that out? Fucking little shit."

A4 pulled A2 away before the latter could do more than just glare.

9S felt his appetite slowly vanish as there was now a good space between him and the rest of the table...

...sans 2B who continued to eat.

"Um...Twoobs?" 9S ventured as his voice wavered against his will. "Are you...mad at me, too?"

2B swallowed the mouthful of meatloaf, then looked at her plate. "...somewhat. I'm not worried about an escort since I don't disobey them, but we haven't needed their additional presence for over two years."

9S now honestly felt ashamed and guilty. "I...didn't mean for...I just wanted to..."

He couldn't explain it. 2B seemed to understand that he was curious by nature, but this was the first time his curiosity had gotten everyone _else_ in trouble.

"I'll find Commander White and ask her to just punish me, then!" 9S declared.

Sure, the thought terrified him since he kept remembering his one time in Solitary when he was caught hacking the facility's database...and it was possible he would only be on latrine duty since he had skipped a class here and there and that's how they punished him...

What would be the punishment for skivving off for an entire _day_?

He had missed basic obstacle training, combat training, _and_ geography class.

"I doubt she'll change her mind," 2B said quietly.

9S shivered as he glanced at the others...who glared back so heatedly that he ducked his head again.

"Hey, 2B! You gonna hang out with that shithead?" A2 called from her new spot.

2B shrugged. "I don't really care what others think of me." _Well, I care what A2 thinks, and A4...and 6O. But not the others. Not as much as I care about what 9S thinks of me._

Those with the "A" and "B" designations were typically in active combat the most out of everyone else. Much of their instructions included lines that things like emotions were detrimental to their mission and would hold them back.

They still _had_ emotions, of course, but they had to suppress them.

2B was just good at hiding hers, really. She did care about 9S, who was like a beacon of sunshine in this dreary place filled with war and death. _He_ had never seen anyone die, or walked off the battlefield covered in someone else's blood, but she had.

It wasn't a pretty sight.

Nor did it feel very good.

2B envied him sometimes since he and other Scouts typically just dealt with hacking and the robotic soldiers. There was nothing gory or bloody about destroying a robot, after all.

"Suit yourself," A2 called back. "But don't blame me if you become a pariah, too!"

9S kept his head down. "You...you can go sit with her if you want, Twoobs. I understand." He had seen some flash of resentment flash across her face, and thought it was due to her loyalty to sitting with him.

He really, really wanted a family; 2B was the closest he had to one, but if she abandoned him too, then he'd understand.

It'd hurt more than he hurt right now, but he would understand.

2B sighed. "If I cared what others thought of me, I would have moved to sit with them."

"Twoobs..."

"That said..." 2B turned to glare at him.

9S shrank back and swallowed against a lump in his throat. He _hated_ it when others glared at him, but he hated it even _more_ when 2B was mad at him.

"...I'm _not_ happy about the situation." 2B told him sternly. "You're a Scout. You need to think more of repercussions before you act rashly on emotions and curiosity."

9S bowed his head to hide the tears which threatened to fall. "O-okay. I'm sorry, Twoobs..."

2B frowned. _I hate it when he cries. I never know what to say or do to make him feel better. In this case, he brought it upon himself._

She was out of her league even more than usual.

"Just..." 2B searched for the right thing to say. "...stop being a truant. If you're truly sorry, don't let it happen again."

9S nodded, gaze still on his lap.

2B had a feeling she didn't comfort him very well. "Look...they'll get over it, especially if you stop disappearing. And, I don't _hate_ you for it. I'm a little annoyed, but that doesn't mean I don't..." she gestured uncomfortably, as with every time she tried to tell someone that she liked them.

9S wiped his eyes with his sleeve and gave her a tiny, watery smile. "I understand. Thanks, Twoobs. I'll...I'll be more careful. And I'll talk to Commander White after dinner to see if sh-she'll just punish me."

2B noted the way a tremor worked through his body, and quickly and quietly gave his hand a squeeze since it was in his lap before she went back to her plate. "You'll do fine, Nines."

9S relaxed at the clumsy attempt of comfort, as well as the use of his nickname. He still didn't have much of an appetite knowing that everyone (except 2B) hated him right now, but he had missed lunch and knew it would be bad if he skipped dinner as well.

2B was relieved that he seemed to understand. _He always understands...well, mostly. My attempts to cheer him up when he's down._

She knew he was still hurting because he hadn't gone to chatting about anything, but at least he was eating. "Nines?"

"Yea?"

2B didn't know why she called his name. She just...hated to see him sad. "I'll, um, debrief you on geography class. It was...interesting."

9S nearly snorted on his food as he felt humor tickle at him. "You _hate_ sitting still in a classroom."

 _I hate seeing you sad even more._ 2B shrugged. "You _did_ miss class. But okay. In that case, tell me something new you've learned."

Sometimes, his penchant for chatter was annoying.

Other times, she found it comforting.

Right now, she just wanted him to smile.

"Well...I'd heard about this concept called 'family'..." 9S started off slowly and unsurely, but as 2B would nod or make it obvious she was listening, he grew slightly more animated.

Meanwhile, 2B was relieved that, by the end of dinner, 9S's usual smile was back on his face as he had lost himself completely in explaining the rather peculiar concept of "family".

* * *

Trying to see Commander White was easier said than done, and 9S found himself stopped by one of their lieutenant escorts after showers were over with and everyone was headed back to their rooms.

Well, after 9S had to search high and low for his soap, then again for his underwear since some of the other boys moved them in retaliation for his transgression.

"But sir!" 9S protested to the lieutenant who leered above him. "I just want to talk to Commander White about what I did wrong and ask her not to punish everyone!"

The Lieutenant sneered. "Oh, _now_ you're developing a conscience? After all you put your teammates through?"

A few boys were grumbling since the door was being blocked by the two.

"Please, sir! Just...just let me speak with her!"

"Request denied! Commander White's punishment stands! You aren't feeling guilty, you just want your squadron to stop glaring at you!" The Lieutenant answered harshly.

9S shook his head. "No..." He did honestly feel guilty, but he couldn't help but feel that the man's words were at least partially right as he definitely wanted everyone to stop glaring at him.

"Now, form a line! To your bunks!" The Lieutenant commanded of the boys.

9S kept his head down as they were lead to the hallway which contained their rooms, meeting up with a female lieutenant and the girls midway there. They weren't allowed to speak with one another, but 9S gave 2B a mournful look.

2B tilted her head in acknowledgement. _He tried to set it straight but was denied._

The other girls just glared at him.

9S quickly looked down at his sandaled feet since they were all dressed in the ugly gray prison-uniform like button down and pants which the facility dared to call "pajamas".

Like their regular uniforms, their ID number was stitched onto the shirt. For the pajamas, it was on the upper left side of their chests, near the shoulder.

The groups split off as they went into their rooms. Since they didn't get individual rooms, all rooms had four metal framed beds where a barely comfortable mattress was set, and a white pillow with matching sheets and a black duvet to add to the dull monotone of the base.

The beds were all made, as they were required to have their beds made before they went to breakfast.

"I will be by again in the morning," The Lieutenant said to the boys (as the female one was explaining the similar situation to the girls). "You are _not_ to leave the room except to use the latrine. Another set of guards will be stationed in this hall to make sure you get there without any _detours_."

A few more glares were sent to 9S, especially as they could all see that the guards in the hallway had now doubled.

"You are not to leave the room in the morning until you are cleared to do so. Failure to comply will result in worsening punishment. And speaking of latrines, those who were given latrine duty will follow me." The Lieutenant instructed crisply. "Everyone else, to your rooms!"

While kids like 4S and A2 waited, the others scrambled to do as instructed.

9S had a room with three other scouts, as they were typically divided by both sex and affiliation.

"Way to go, lame-o." A scout around his age with curly blond hair scowled at him as he flopped down onto his bed, his number reading as 42S. He was typically cheerful and easy-going, and could also be a bit of a rule-breaker. He was nowhere near on the level of A2, however.

Then again, his honesty allowed for honest anger.

9S attempted to apologize, but was then shouldered roughly by a taller, brown-haired scout on the way to his bed.

"Why can't you follow simple orders?" The brown-haired boy with the number-letter combo of "801S" looked down his nose at the younger. He was a little older than them, but there was typically an older/more experienced person in each room as a "monitor" of sorts to make sure that they had their beds made in the morning and to report to a medic if someone fell ill, ect.

801S was that person, and he was also a stickler for the rules.

9S stumbled, then frowned at the harsh treatment. "I'm trying to get it rescinded! But..."

42S snorted from where he was flopped onto his bed. "They aren't going to rescind the order, you idiot. If anything, you'll probably just make it _worse_ , so do us all a favor and just shut up!"

The third and final member of their room, the dark-haired 32S, didn't speak often, and this was no exception as he sent a somewhat sad, yet baleful, look at 9S before he got into his own bed...after tripping slightly since he was just a tad more accident prone than the others.

9S stood there a moment, biting his lip. _I...I miss Twoobs. I want..._

He wanted one of those kind looking moms in the pictures he saw and articles he read to hold him.

"Get into bed, 9S." 801S snapped. "And 42S, under the covers. Lights out is in half an hour."

42S rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. "Ease up, 801. I mean, sheesh...stick in the mud, much?"

"We're soldiers." 801S responded by rote.

9S took that opportunity to scurry to his own bed, then slip off his sandals and get under the covers. "I'm really, really sorry about it..."

"Shut up, 9S." 42S snapped as he finished getting under the covers of his own bed.

9S cringed. _If they're not calling me "Nines", then they're still really pissed at me..._

It was a nickname given to him by 2B, and some of the other Scouts he worked with picked up on it.

9S curled up under the covers as he pushed back his tears. _Where are our moms? Where is my mom? What does a mom's embrace feel like? Does it feel safe? Happy? Warm?_

The questions in his mind wouldn't stop, though he did honestly try to turn them off. He wished he could pop out of his room to visit 2B, but the guards would never allow for that.

 _Everyone got punished because of me...all because I'm curious. What was that expression I found? 'Curiosity killed the cat'? In this case, it's more like 'curiosity got the entire platoon angry'._ 9S miserably closed his eyes.

He didn't worry that his bunkmates would retaliate while he was sleeping; 801S was too much of a straight-arrow, and 32S didn't behave in that way. 42S might have tried something, but not with 801S and the promise of group punishment.

9S muffled a sad sigh. _Besides, I deserve it if he nicks my underwear or something. We have limited freedom in this place, and because of me, it was just narrowed down even more._

But...he _really_ wanted a family.

A mom...maybe a dad, too. 2B could be his sister, as she felt closer than "just friends". Maybe 32S could be his little brother; the boy was typically one of the only people interested in it when 9S talked about the concept of "family". _And 6O would make a good big sister..._

He felt his eyes slowly start to slide shut as sleep overtook him. _But Twoobs...she's special. I definitely want her as family more than anyone, because...it feels more special. Twoobs..._

* * *

Across the hall, 2B was settled into bed as well as her three bunkmates.

The eldest in their room, and their dorm "leader", was 4B. She wasn't as strict as 801S, but still took her job seriously both on the battlefield and at the facility.

Their second member was 7B, a tall girl who was just a little on the lazy side...and was thus already snoring in her bed.

Their final member was 11B, who was the youngest of the group. She was even-tempered and obeyed without question.

"Lights out in ten," 4B said as a periodical reminder.

"Roger," young 11B responded.

"Understood," came 2B's soft response.

A snore was the only response from 7B.

4B rolled her eyes at the snoring girl, then gently shoved aforementioned girl onto her side so that the snores would cease. "...keep telling her to stop sleeping on her back..."

2B tuned out the mutters, when she was addressed.

"Are you really going to keep hanging around 9S for the week?" 4B inquired as she returned to her own bed. "2B?"

"Oh." 2B shifted under the covers. "Nines is my friend."

11B frowned. "But...we have to have lieutenants following us again. I finally got away from that and gained freedom when I was put in this squadron. 9S messed that up."

2B could understand their frustration; she valued what little freedom she got as well, since it meant they were trusted.

"I'm going to have trouble seeing my friends outside of scheduled activities." 4B sighed sadly. "We have to tell them when we have to use the toilet. Permission to go to the _toilet_ during the off-hours overnight!"

"I...do understand that frustration." 2B picked her words carefully. "But it's only for a week. It could have been a lot worse."

"9S didn't turn up until dinner. I highly doubt that Commander White will leave it at just this," 4B stated, then looked at the clock. "Five minutes until lights out, by the way."

11B sat up in her bed. "Technically, we aren't supposed to speculate or question orders."

4B conceded the point. "That's true. Whatever Commander White decides to do with us due to 9S and his truant behavior, she'll do it and we shouldn't question it. The last thing we should want is to be like him."

2B frowned, but said nothing; it would be futile. _No...not really. Nines is one of the only soldiers here who questions things._

Some of the other scouts were prone to questioning as well; it was why 4S had gotten into trouble, because he questioned his position as a scout and A2 allowed him to try out being in the Attack/Battle squadron. 42S was also a well known troublemaker...or more of just a rebel.

2B didn't necessarily see it as a bad thing to question orders, just not aloud. They had never received any dubious orders, so there was nothing to question.

_On the other hand..._

Some of the things 9S had discovered earlier made her mind drift slightly. _Families. Parents...I don't remember my parents, either. Was I...always a soldier? Maybe we're all orphans._

Nobody, save perhaps 9S, had ever questioned where their parents were.

The reason was simply because it never crossed their minds.

They were _soldiers_ from YoRHa fighting with the Allied Forces against the tyrannical Empire comprised of countries which banded together in an attempt to cause a world-wide dictatorship.

A "World War", they called it.

2B shook her head slightly as she lay back down. _We had no reason to question anything. We grew up as soldiers, with the only adults being medics, lieutenants, and Commander White. Nobody would think to question that or any other order we were given._

Nobody...except for 9S.

2B didn't question her orders or her leaders; she didn't doubt them or harbor any doubts like 9S seemed to. She rather felt stuck in the middle as she wanted to believe everything Commander White told them... _why would she lie, anyway?_...but also wanted to believe 9S.

Sometimes, it was difficult to follow his logic. 2B didn't even know where he got the idea of "parents" from in the first place.

Then again, unlike the Battle designation, Scouts weren't taught to suppress their emotions. Attackers were also taught it to a degree, but since they were usually on the front lines with the Battle unit behind them, they sometimes acted as berserkers.

Rage was allowed for Attackers.

But "suppress emotions" were the motto of the Battle and Defense units.

2B tried, and it was a lot easier to do so on the battlefield...or, it was.

Suppressing her emotions was getting harder and harder for some reason. Last time she had been deployed, after hearing the other soldiers talk about family, she had felt something akin to...guilt...for killing an enemy who had gotten closer than they should have.

What if the people she killed had family? They never had time to mourn any squadron members who died, but what about the "normal" soldiers?

_What if Nines was the one to die?_

2B shivered. _No...don't think like that! I...I don't want to lose him. Not now, not ever._

Despite "suppress emotions", she had gotten attached to the kind boy.

If he were to die...would she even be allowed to mourn? Would it just be a quick and solemn glance at the casket before it was carted off like what happened when someone died on the battlefield?

How could she suppress her emotions when she felt strongly in favor of making sure 9S didn't die?

2B found herself at a crossroads. _This is a good chance. I can either cut ties with him and completely suppress emotions like the other girls here..._

That option made her chest ache.

_...or, I can just keep myself focused on the battlefield and remain exposed to these strange and somewhat scary thoughts._

Honestly, she was tempted to go with the first option despite the guilt that caused her to feel. The second option was terrifying, because it would mean allying herself with 9S; it would mean she would often think about questions he brought up and the things he had discovered.

It meant that one day, she might be brazen enough to actually question an order.

But if the alternative was to cut ties with 9S...

2B couldn't do that. Not when she remembered how his smile had fallen at the table as everyone gave him the cold shoulder and glares; how he had tried to hide his tears and fear (and failed miserably) when he thought everyone hated him.

If she also turned her back on him... _he'd be alone. Nines hates being alone. And...he'd cry._

No, she couldn't purposely cause 9S to cry.

"Lights out. Goodnight."

As the room grew dark, 2B stared at the ceiling for a few more moments before she felt a fierce flare of determination. _I...will never turn my back on Nines. I shouldn't have even considered it in the first place. Nines, don't worry...I won't betray you. I'm on your side._

The thought did scare her since she realized she placed him above YoRHa, but...

Strangely enough, a sense of peace came over her and she closed her eyes. _I...I think I'm okay with that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down! I was thinking of changing the update schedule to Monday and Thursday, but then realized that no matter how I space it out, there will only be a couple days between chapters occasionally. My other option is switching to updating once a week, but I feel that wouldn't be right since the story was completed prior to me uploading it here. So, I'm going to keep the twice a week (Mondays and Fridays) schedule. 
> 
> Comments and feedback is much appreciated! ^w^
> 
> Okay; I think I finally fixed the problem of AO3 adding Ch.1's notes to the other end-notes of chapters. Whew!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There aren't going to be too many chapters on actual battlefield fighting, just a heads-up; The story is more focused on the characters. Not that I'll be ignoring the battlefield completely, but even though I wrote a story here about them being child soldiers, I don't particularly enjoy writing about kids fighting in actual combat. I mean...they're KIDS. It's wrong for a plethora of reasons.

The rest of the week was close to a personal hell for 9S. He wasn't able to convince the Commander to only punish him; rather, she didn't give him _any_ sort of punishment.

Then again, the scorn of the rest of the 9-14 Squadron was punishment in itself.

If anyone retaliated against him (like tripping him in the mess hall, or hanging his underwear on a showerhead, or poking him with their pencils), no action was taken against them.

It was as if the Commander had expected the slightly more hot-headed children of the squadron not to take their punishment quietly, and intentionally left it that way.

By the end of the week, 9S was certainly not in the mood to try to sneak out anytime soon. Perhaps he would just do that during free time when he wasn't required to be somewhere.

Thus, by the end of the week, 9S wondered if they would _ever_ get over having an escort. He sure didn't like having one since it meant he couldn't look up more information on families (aka, try to discover his family) or attempt to get more information on the facility.

The others didn't like having their freedom denied.

It had been a lonely week for him, as though 2B would still talk to him, she obviously didn't speak out of turn during training or class, and their escorts always told 9S to "shut up" when he tried to initiate contact outside of classes.

Mess hall had been the only time he was able to really talk with her, and by the end of the week, his own "chatterbox" self had died out because he didn't feel like he had the energy to talk about things.

What was there to be happy about, anyway?

They were fighting a war because supposedly they were "elite forces" and better than deployed adults, seemingly were abandoned by their parents or just somehow had none, and would be living the rest of their lives either on the battlefield or in the facility until they died.

Oh, and though many of the kids were almost robotic in their moves and actions for combat, they certainly had at least a semblance of personality...enough to treat him like a pariah.

It hadn't ended when the punishment time was up; many of the kids were _still_ sore at him, and he had been given an additional instruction by Commander White.

_"Whenever you are back here at the facility, you will periodically check in with 21O to report your status and location. As in, every hour on the hour. I have also informed her of this change. Should you go more than half an hour past your expected check-in time, she will contact you. Should you go two hours or more past your expected check-in time, she is under instructions to immediately report you as being AWOL."_

9S poked sadly at the mush on his plate in front of him the afternoon after the final day of escort punishment.

Though the others were a lot more relaxed now that they weren't monitored practically every second of the day, 9S was still miserable.

The boy sighed. "Twoobs...you can go sit with A2 and A4 if you want."

As per usual since the punishment started, there was a ring of empty space on the bench around and across from them.

2B glanced at him with a frown of concern. "Do you want me to?" She might have felt hurt, but one look at her friend's bowed face told her that the punishment had really gotten to him. _I miss his smile. I've tried to get him to smile, but near the end of the week, it's been just tiny ones. Damn...I wish I was better at acting on my emotions sometimes. I don't want him to be sad._

"No! No...I mean...I don't _want_ you to, but...you sit with me all the time in the mess hall and even free time..."

Well, when she wasn't using her free time to train...which oddly enough, she hadn't been in the training room much during free time, instead electing to quietly read with him.

"...so you haven't gotten to talk much to your other friends."

2B picked up on the wording. _"Your" other friends...not "our" other friends. Certainly, the way they've treated him for the week, if it had been me, I'd feel like they didn't want to be companions anymore, either._

"Friends" was a strong word, and she would only apply that word to all of three people: 9S, 6O, and A2.

2B turned her attention back to their conversation. "Nines. If I had wanted to hang out with them, I would have done so. I'm not going to abandon you."

"...even if I deserve it?"

"Frankly, you..." 2B hesitated, then finished quietly, "...what you did wasn't serious. It wasn't like you tried to hack the facility's server again. Latrine duty would have sufficed as punishment, not having escorts."

9S blinked in surprise. Part of him was warmed by 2B's response, and the other was somewhat confused. _That's the first time I've heard Twoobs say anything even remotely against the leadership here._

It wasn't like she was outright defying them, but she wasn't the type who questioned things.

9S felt his throat close up slightly in suspicion. "Are...are you just humoring me, Twoobs?"

2B stiffened, then gave him a highly affronted look. "You _know_ I'm blunt by default. Why would you even _think_ that?"

9S cursed in his head. Now he had done it...he hurt the feelings of the only friend he even had left. _Way to go, me._ "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, it's just...okay, maybe I did mean it like that, but I wasn't trying to accuse you or anything. And I didn't mean to hurt you, it's just...I just...I don't know!"

He pushed his tray slightly away from himself to bury his head in his arms to hide his forming tears as his emotions peaked. "Everyone _glares_ at me...and I just...I can't take it anymore, because it's so damn _lonely_! And I just...I just want to make sure that, you know...I don't mean to doubt you, but I...my mind's a mess, Twoobs! I can't do this anymore...!"

2B cringed as the waver in his pain-filled voice. Her slight anger and annoyance at being accused of humoring him faded. _Nines is hurting, so he doesn't know what to believe anymore._

It hurt her to see him in any sort of pain, even if that pain was purely emotional. _Then again, Nines is better at showing his emotions than the rest of us._

Slowly and unsurely, she moved her hand and softly laid it on the small of his back.

Physical forms of affection were often frowned upon, but 9S seemed to just make it so easy for her to give him a pat on the head, or a squeeze of his hand, or a ruffle of the hair.

9S sniffled as his body trembled. He could feel her hand on his back, warm and comforting despite her awkward attempt. "I...I'm sorry, Twoobs. I shouldn't have d-doubted you." _Ungh...my voice broke there. Maybe Twoobs won't call it out? Pretty obvious by now. Stupid tears. Why do we even cry?  
_

2B scooted a bit closer to him. "It's okay now. We'll...um...I mean, you're my friend, Nines." _The only light in this endless hell of fighting._

Even 2B found it exhausting many times. They had been going to the battlefield for nearly two years, now.

When was it going to end?

Why did wars always take so long?

One way or another, 2B had already decided that 9S was special to her. That was her determination.

9S's tears slowly abated as he soaked in the comfort he was being given. "You're...you're not gonna tell me to stop crying, this time?"

2B shrugged, though he couldn't see. "If you need to cry...then cry. I don't think any less of you. I never have, and never will."

9S sniffled. "Not that I'm complaining...but are you really Twoobs?"

2B rolled her eyes and moved her hand from his back to give him a swat on the shoulder.

9S let out a wet laugh. "Yep...you're Twoobs." He peeked out at her from his arms, his eyes slightly red.

However, it was his little smile which caught 2B's attention, and she found herself returning it. Quietly, only for him, she said: "You're not alone, Nines. Not ever."

And she would fight come hell or high water to keep it that way.

9S let out a small sigh of relief as his body relaxed. "You can be awkward at times, but you still know what to say. Well, sometimes."

2B huffed and gave him another swat on the shoulder. "Watch it. And drink some water or you'll get dehydrated."

9S rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up from his slumped position, tiny smile just a little larger on his face. "Only because _you_ said so."

2B found it an odd comment. "It wasn't an order, though..."

9S laughed and pulled his tray back over. "I don't think everything has to be orders."

2B made an incredulous noise, then paused. _Our friendship isn't an order. It's something I chose. It's...a weird feeling, but a good one. I like this feeling._

And oddly enough, she felt even more motivated than ever. 2B didn't know it at the time, but that was because she had found something beyond just "duty"; she had found someone whom she wanted to protect.

Not just his life, but his _light_...his smile. And really, everything about him which made him 9S, she wanted to protect. She wasn't sure at the time what that meant in terms of emotions, but though the feeling was a little scary and a bit strange, she felt oddly satisfied with that choice.

_I'll protect you, Nines. Don't worry. Don't be scared. And one day, maybe...maybe we can both smile brightly. Maybe all of us can. One day._

* * *

YoRHa trained a variety of kids in roles which suited them the best. If they were found not compatible with a role, it was changed to something else with trial and error in the safety of the facility.

Typically, the designations, or "units", were final by the time the children reached eight years of age.

Not all of the designations moved through the battlefield, though they would still be sent with the others.

First were the Attackers, who were the vanguard of the kids; they led the charge of attacks, and often wielded light automatic rifles and knives in the case of close-quarters combat. Occasionally, like in the case of A2, they would wield other weapons (such as dual-wielding automatic pistols). Either way, they were the "light infantry".

Second in line were the Battle designations. They were the most versatile on the field, and were trained to both support the Attackers and in case they had to fall back to where the Defenders (who wielded heavy artillery) held the line. Most of them wielded long swords/katanas instead of knives since they were typically mid-range and multi-purpose.

Thus, it wasn't unusual for a Battle-designated child to be partnered with someone or assigned as a protector if the mission needed extra stealth.

That typically went for either guarding the Operators and Healers, who stayed at whatever basecamp was set up at the time, or escorting a Scout to a rendezvous point (where the B-unit would then wait for the S-unit to do their job, meet back up, and leave the field).

The child soldiers were specially trained tactical squadrons which were meant to turn the tide of a difficult battle. They were not intended to remain on the battlefield for too long, though it wasn't unusual if A, B, and D units wound up on a mission for two weeks.

That was the reason 9S was currently moping around the facility.

The only ones remaining in their squadron were a handful of S-units and a couple of O-units. Everyone else was deployed, or more like had been deployed for a week.

Some of the kids had stopped holding a grudge against him by then, but still eyed him warily. 801S had even questioned him when he left one of the recreation areas!

9S was so caught up in his negative thoughts and feelings of isolation that he didn't even hear the other Scout until the boy cleared his throat as he sat in the library.

"Um...9S?"

9S made a less than manly noise as he jumped slightly off of one of many white armchairs on the carpeted area of the library which was meant for them to sit and read at. The rest of the place were just white rows of shelves with war-related books.

32S flinched as well, but held his ground...and the book clutched to his chest.

"...I wasn't scared." 9S mumbled as he flushed in embarrassment before he looked at the slightly younger boy who was sporting a poultice on his cheek from their last bout of training drills. "What's up?"

32S hesitated, then sat on a nearby armchair. "You, um...were mumbling about 'family' last night before bed."

9S's blush grew. _Shit, they heard me?_

Yea, he had a minor habit of talking to himself, especially whenever 2B was away on a mission and thus he would lose the only person who would listen to him...

The communication device/watch he wore on his wrist (like all of them did) crackled to life just then to remind him that there _was_ someone who spoke to him during the daytime hours.

She was just really cold and by-the-book.

"This is 21O to soldier 9S. It is exactly half an hour past your designated check-in time. Mandatory communications have been established. Respond if you have gotten this message, as well as with your status."

9S resisted a groan. He now only had to check in every _two_ hours, but it was still a major pain. "Yea, yea..."

"One affirmation will suffice. Report your status, 9S."

32S watched almost curiously at the exchange.

9S pouted. "Aw, c'mon, 21O! I bet you're frowning again! Smile! Did you know that smiling takes less muscles than frowning?"

"Repeat, report your status, 9S. Needless banter is unwanted."

Well, ouch.

Then again, it was like that every time he attempted to converse with the older girl.

"Fine, fine..."

"One affirmation..."

" _Fineee~_." 9S interrupted in a slight drawl tone.

32S hid his amused smile behind his book.

"Status normal, I'm currently in the study..."

"Visual required to confirm location."

 _Oh, for crying out..._ 9S was used to it, but _still_...

He pressed the correct button on his watch and moved it around the room, which functioned almost like a video recorder and would project the images to wherever 21O was talking to him from.

"Study. Library. Call it what you want. You can be a little nicer, you know. It's been a while since the, uh, _escort_ incident, and most everyone has gotten over it. Plus, I haven't been..."

 _...caught_...

"...doing anything to get everyone in trouble." 9S attempted to chat. "You should really enjoy your break from the battlefield! It's quieter, and..."

"Status confirmed. Location confirmed. Additional chatter is not needed during periodic check-ins. Next check-in is in an hour and a half, at 15:00. Ending transmission."

With a "bleep", it cut out.

9S stared at the watch a moment, then sighed and ended the transmission from his end as well. Honestly, would it _kill_ everyone to just _talk_ a little? _6O is rather chatty, and I hear A4 will talk about other things. Other than that..._

"9S?"

"Huh? Oh...sorry, 32S. What's up?" This was unusual, but 9S wasn't about to turn the kid down. "Sorry, repeat what you were saying before?"

32S fidgeted. "I, um...want to know more about 'family'. You know about it, right?"

9S nodded. "I've done some research. What prompted this?"

32S showed him the book.

It was the same book which had finally pushed his curiosity over the edge two weeks ago.

9S smiled. "Oh. That makes sense. A family is like a unit."

"Like us?"

"Hmm..." 9S crossed his arms in thought. "I don't think so. From what I read and saw, they're a bit different. They're...closer, I think. We're all just...sort of comrades."

After all, the only one who used the term "friends" was 9S, himself. Though, he had heard 2B refer to him as a "friend" of hers, but everyone else were "companions" or "comrades".

"Family is more like...people who love each other. They don't just see each other as a 'comrade', and it goes beyond 'caring' for one another with a family." 9S tried to swallow past the lump in his throat and the ache in his chest.

_I want that._

Now wasn't the time, especially with the younger boy there. Actually, 9S was surprised the kid hadn't laughed or sneered at him.

After all, "family" was not a concept they were taught about nor encouraged to learn about.

32S looked contemplative. Then, he touched the poultice on his cheek. "So...would 'family' have been kinder when I get hurt?"

9S nodded. "I think so. Family would give you a hug."

"Hug? Like...that thing you sometimes do to 2B when you wrap your arms around her?"

9S thought nobody had ever seen him do that as he tried to hug her away from prying eyes since even the concept of a "hug" was foreign, but obviously a shy wallflower like 32S had seen.

"Yea. And a mom or dad's hug supposedly feels _really_ good. Like you're totally safe and nothing can hurt you. And they don't even send their kids to war! Can you believe that? They let their kids _play_! Like...actual _games_! Not wargames!"

32S's eyes were wide with wonder. "Playing and hugs...that sounds nice..."

9S smiled brightly. "Right?"

32S bobbed his head shyly and hugged the book again. "I...I wish that...um..." He blushed and looked down, unable to finish.

9S sobered a little as he avoided eye contact as well. "...that we could have a family?"

32S looked around to see if anyone overheard, and when he found the place empty (save for 801S who was browsing in another section, out of earshot), he nodded.

"Me, too." 9S admitted. The only other person he had admitted his wish to had been 2B, and just like her, 32S didn't laugh. Instead, he repeated what she had said to the younger boy: "It's not a silly idea."

"How...how'd you know I was wondering that?"

9S giggled a tad nervously. "Cause...I wondered it, too, when I read that book and researched into family."

32S was quiet a moment, though obviously more relaxed now. "9S?"

"Yea?"

"Do you...do you think we have a family out there?" 32S kept his voice even quieter than normal.

9S didn't blame him, as their conversation had turned to whispering.

After all, this was taboo sort of talk. The two of them even discreetly double-checked 801S's position as well as if anyone else entered the area, ready to stop their conversation at the drop of a hat.

"I...I don't know." 9S admitted as he wrung his hands in his lap. "I sort of hope so, but at the same time not. Cause, I mean...what I read about family, they wouldn't drop off their kids at a place like this to fight in a war."

32S pulled his knees to his chest. "I don't like fighting. It's scary."

"Same." 9S responded softly. "Hey...um, I'm going to keep looking into family stuff. I've been trying to find my family, but no go. I can...I can check for yours, too. No promises. Like I said, I haven't been able to find squat. Not even a 'family tree' or anything."

32S perked up. "Sure! Um...what's a 'family tree'?"

9S giggled and also pulled his legs up then wrapped his arms around his shins as he started to explain it to his young audience. _Suddenly...I don't feel that alone. I feel like I'd protect 2B with my life if it came down to that, but I'm sort of getting that same feeling now._

It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, he decided.

And since he was having trouble finding his family (not that he'd given up on it, not by a longshot)...then making one was the next best thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I think I finally got it to stop repeating prior chapter notes. For realsies this time...fingers crossed.
> 
> Apologies that this chapter was a bit shorter! Funnily enough, I had not planned on including 32S into their little "group", but wanted a younger character to sort of be the overall "little brother" of them.  
> 9S might be a little out of character, but I always saw him as sort of a more "emotional" character. Of all the characters in Nier Automata, he honestly felt the closest to "human" because he'll show anger, pain, joy, ect. The others struggle with expressing themselves, but 9S always seemed a little more in-tune with his emotions.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured a little 2B introspection might be good to have.  
> 22B is, again, not an original character (though I might have swapped some genders around since from I can recall, most or all B-units in the game are female...I honestly don't remember which gender 22B is...so in this, 22B is male).

2B stared at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap, during the silent ride back to the facility.

The ride was typically silent, though it was sometimes a little more hectic on the way there as they would often be briefed once more on their mission objective.

This time, it wasn't just the silence of the standard "suppressed emotions" or post-mission exhaustion, but rather a dour mood which filled the entire cabin.

Some didn't seem too bothered by it...why should they be?

After all, DEATH was just a natural event.

Everything which was born would eventually die; it was inevitable.

And for them, who combated the occasional human instead of just the robot army of the Empire, they had seen death plenty of times.

They were taught that death was natural; that their comrades might fall in battle and never return.

They were taught not to fear death because it was so natural.

2B frowned. _But lately...I've been starting to worry. It's like **we** are the machines, programmed to just keep on going when a comrade falls and not think twice about it...to not hold any emotions towards them._

A cursory glance around told her that some of them definitely did not seem bothered by the death of 22B on the battlefield.

2B looked down at her hands again. _But what is this strange feeling? I wasn't particularly close to 22B, but he...he was still one of us. A comrade. A...friend? He never questioned orders, but was rather relaxed and easy to talk to. He was a fierce fighter, and a challenge to train against._

22B had been a couple years older than her; twelve, according to his tags.

2B tried to remember how his eyes would light up when they sparred, but all she could think about was how the light had left his eyes while bleeding out after being gunned down.

They were not supposed to prioritize any of their lives over the mission.

When 22B had went down, 2B had felt an initial shock and then an impulse to take him back to base camp.

But they weren't supposed to do things like that.

So, she didn't.

2B felt guilt roil in her gut. _Do the others who were around feel the same way? That "oh, maybe I should have stopped and brought him back"? That maybe if one of us had, he would have survived?_

The cause of death was blood loss.

That's what they were told when they were assembled after the battle for debriefing before they were loaded up into the van to leave.

They had won the battle...

...so why did 2B feel so _bad_? It wasn't the first time someone had died in their squadron, so why did she feel so guilty about this one? They weren't even very close!

Her eyes flitted to the others. Her bunkmates...

4B looked a little grim, but more of just accepting.

7B was...sleeping as per usual. No signs of discomfort.

11B stoically stared ahead along with the majority of them, back straight without a hint of being affected by the death.

A few of the Defenders looked a little weary, but it was most likely from combat. They, after all, didn't know 22B like the rest of them did.

The Attackers were mostly the same as the B-designations. A2 occasionally frowned deeply and A4 once in a while looked saddened, but only when they thought nobody was looking.

2B looked back down at her hands. _What if that had been someone else who fell on the field? Would I have gone back for them? Should I have broken protocol and gone back for 22B? Why does this bother me so much? It never has before..._

If it had been 9S...

_Death is natural..._

2B swallowed against a lump in her throat. What would she have done if it was 9S who fell?

_Death is natural..._

Would she have continued the mission?

_Death is expected, especially in combat and war..._

2B closed her eyes, head bowed.

_...I know all of that. But then why...why do I feel like I would have broken protocol if Nines was the one who fell and was bleeding out? It's just death. It's..._

A startling realization went through her, along with an emotion which the YoRHa units were beaten out of by the time they reached eight years of age.

Fear.

2B was _afraid_ , not of any punishment for breaking protocol in a situation like that, but for 9S's safety.

_I...I don't want him to die._

There was no way she could tell anyone of these thoughts. They occasionally had to undergo mental checks, but there was no way she could mention it since it didn't just involve her, it involved how she saw 9S.

What if they punished him for her crazy thoughts?

No...this was going to be her secret. Besides, it wasn't like 9S was often on the battlefield with her, so it was a moot question.

_...then why am I still so concerned about it? Why does it still bother me to think about? I don't want to think about it, but I can't help it. I don't understand._

* * *

_The battlefield was loud and hurried as usual. The rolling green hills ran black with the oil of robots sent out by the Empire to do their fighting for them, though the occasional soldier ran out to back them up since the designs of the robots made it difficult for them to reload their weapons._

_Not that the ones firing mortars really needed to reload._

_There weren't that many robots this time._

_Every time 2B was deployed, it seemed like there were less and less of them. The Scouts were rarely sent into combat anymore because they didn't need to hack into an enemy data port to scramble the 'bots._

_And since the robots were made specifically without an AI so that they wouldn't turn into nightmare fuel from a sci-fi novel and rebel against their creators, operators of them needed to still be there._

_2B kept moving, as she usually did. The Attacker units were ahead, spreading wildfire against the line of machines used as metallic shields for the humans who were behind them._

_Everything was proceeding smoothly as 2B started to lay in fire on the humans behind the machines._

_Death was normal. The other soldiers were putting their lives on the line for their cause, and so was she. She did not feel bad about it...why should she? Nobody else thought twice about taking the life of an enemy soldier._

_It was just how they were taught._

_Around her, the other B-units were also beginning to open fire on the exposed humans now that the A-units had taken down the last of the robot wall._

_A wall with machine guns, but still one which the Attackers were trained to handle. There was some blood here and there, but most of them were scrapes as the Defenders used interference from the back row to scramble the machines and make sure that the robots couldn't fire when the Attackers got too close._

_2B hunkered down behind some man-made trenches and fences._

_Trench warfare had popped back up as it was a good way for them to advance, especially since the Defenders could easily carve at least small ditches with their weaponry._

_So, it was more of just ditches here and there which provided cover on the empty field._

_The grass swayed in the wind, and started to be splattered with blood from the enemy soldiers._

_Screams erupted on the battlefield, but were drowned out by the loud noise of gunfire._

_2B had a headset on to relay instructions but help block out the distracting loud noises everywhere to focus on her mission._

_All of the YoRHa soldiers had them._

_2B saw an enemy soldier hesitate when the man caught sight of who exactly were shooting at them._

_2B took advantage of that hesitation to shoot the man dead before he could even consider the repercussions for killing a child._

_Not all of his companions seemed to have the same moral dilemma, however, and there was a crackle of static on the comms and a young yelp._

_2B saw it in her peripheral vision; how 22B had stood up to relocate position since he was being overwhelmed and the Defenders were still keeping the Attackers safe; they hadn't had the time to switch to backup fire from their own mortars._

_That was when 22B went down in a blaze of gunfire and red._

_Blood splashed onto the green grass, staining it red instead of oil black from robots._

_They weren't robots._

_They were human._

_Or monsters, perhaps._

_2B pushed on ahead..._

_No. For some reason, she doubled back._

_She had to be sure he was alright._

_Why was she so concerned, anyway?_

_This wasn't like her..._

_But 22B was still a comrade, and she should at least try to get him to the Healers and medics._

_There were plenty of them still on the field, after all. Even some of the Attackers had started to pull back as the B-designations laid down enough firepower to overwhelm the humans behind the wall of robots._

_YoRHa was often described as a "force of nature", and even a small YoRHa squadron could do what an entire normal platoon couldn't._

_2B didn't think much on that at the moment as she knelt down in front of where 22B was spasming and choking on his own blood as he twitched._

_His shirt was started to become drenched in red, and while it didn't look like anything vital had been hit, it was hard to tell with the wet patches staining into his uniform at an alarming rate._

_2B prepared to do some emergency field aid, as she knew he would probably bleed out before she could get him to a medic if she didn't._

_She didn't have to be a Healer-designation to recognize that much._

_When 2B turned him to face towards her, her heart leapt into her chest and her breathing became shallow._

_Instead of the face of 22B, the face of 9S stared back at her._

_Now, the body was matching, as well; it was 9S's height, and had his hair..._

_It was 9S._

_Who had blood dribbling from his lips as he choked and coughed flecks of red while his face was pale and pinched in pain._

_Bleeding out._

_Dying._

_2B's scream was drowned out by the gunfire around them._

**

2B lurched up, her body slick with sweat and her eyes wide and wild. It felt too warm, and she shakily kicked off the covers until she realized that she was in her bed...or at least, seated in her bed now after that nightmare.

Everything had been pretty much the same as what happened on the battlefield, except that she had gone back...

...and 9S being there.

She hadn't screamed as she woke up in the least, since her bunkmates were still fast asleep. The glowing clock on the wall read that it was around midnight.

2B placed a hand to her chest as if in an attempt to slow her rapidly beating heart as she recalled the imagery from her dream.

For a few moments, she just sat there and listened to her own heavy breathing in the room as well as 7B's snores. Yet, she couldn't shake all of the feelings of panic which still threatened to claw its way up to her throat, so she quietly shoved the covers off completely and slid her feet into the issued sandals, then just as quietly exited the room.

Without the escorts there, the hallways were even more barren, but she wasn't exactly complaining; it just reminded her that she wasn't on the battlefield since there weren't uniformed men and women all over the place.

There were probably some stationed at the end of the hallways, but currently they had yet to patrol down this one.

Quietly and still shaking somewhat, 2B hurried to the restroom to splash water on her face.

What she really wanted to do was knock on the door where 9S was...she just wanted to see him; affirm that he was really alright, and asleep in his bed.

It was unheard of.

Well, not completely unheard of, as she and her bunkmates would sometimes be awoken by 9S knocking on their door in the middle of the night due to a nightmare.

That was about when 2B was assigned the bed closest to the door.

If the higher ups in command knew about it, they said nothing.

Probably to make sure that all of them kept morale up enough to fight.

2B squinted at her reflection in the dim lighting of the bathroom, made a little darker at night.

_Even though all sunlight is artificial here..._

Really, that was their only indication of the day/night cycle was when the internal clock in the facility matched up with the time to either brighten or darken the fake windows.

Even the "rainy days" were false, as it wasn't true rain.

She didn't have to be a curious cat like 9S to know _that_ much.

2B sighed as she examined her face. Pale, and still slight tremors...wide blue eyes which stared back at her tinged with hints of fear and panic...

At the moment, she looked every bit the ten year old she was rather than some battle-hardened soldier.

And despite her attempts to calm herself, she still wanted to just see 9S.

It was peculiar.

She was used to wanting to see him during the day; they were friends, after all. There was nothing strange about wanting to see one's friend, especially in a place like the facility where friendship was still a foreign concept to many of them.

When had she learned about friendship, anyway?

9S probably taught her. They had been paired up before on earlier recon missions.

2B exited the bathroom after wiping her face off, and found herself in front of the door to the room where 9S slept.

_What am I doing? This is ridiculous! I know he's fine...we're in the facility, and he wasn't on the battlefield. I even got to briefly see him after shower time before we had to be in our bunks._

It was completely, absolutely ridiculous.

It made no sense.

Why did she have such a sudden urge to see him?

Why did she feel such panic and...and _fear_ when she recalled the bloody image of 9S in her dream?

_Death is natural. Soldiers are used to it._

Yet for some reason, she wasn't sure if she was just trying to convince herself of that now.

2B's hand hovered over the door before she realized it. _I...I'm just checking to see if he's alright. Girls are allowed to go into the bunks of the boys, just not the other way around. I don't even have to knock since the doors are unlocked._

Right.

She could just let herself in.

Then she could make sure that 9S was save and _alive_ , and nobody would know that she was feeling afraid.

2B wasn't sure she liked this new feeling of fear. The last time she had felt it had been before she was even assigned to a unit.

Still, she felt compelled to open the door.

It swished open silently as per usual with the doors, and the barely illuminated room came into view.

Snoring reached her ears, and knowing the layout of his room, it seemed to be coming from 42S's position.

2B nearly turned back around, but... _I have to make sure. That Nines is alive. He...he can't die. I don't want him to die._

The fear caused her to stumble into the room until she very quickly found his bed.

There he was, curled up under the covers like a cat, with a peaceful expression on his face.

2B wandered over to his bed and knelt down in front of it. _Innocent...always with that innocent expression. Sometimes, when we're in the field, I can't tell what he's thinking. But every other time, he's open...at least to me._

She felt her fear slowly abate as she just watched him; watched the covers rise and fall with every breath he took, and as her eyes adjusted better to the dim lighting, saw and made sure that there were no bullet holes or blood on him.

 _He's safe. Nines is safe and sound, sleeping, in one piece. He's not dying. He's not dead. Nines is here._ 2B felt herself relax as relief flooded through her. She was surprised when she felt a tear roll down her cheek, and quickly wiped it away.

But she had just been so _relieved_ to see him alive and well.

Though, watching him sleep was probably creepy, and she really didn't want to have to explain it to any of his bunkmates...or especially to him.

2B reached out, then hesitated with her fingers inches away from 9S's face. _What am I doing? I need to go back to bed._

Yet, she just moved her hand up a bit and felt the warm breath on her hand, and... _gross. He's drooling._

2B nearly laughed, but that sudden release from her tension and confusing feelings allowed her to be comforted enough to stand up. _Sleep well, Nines. Please don't die if we go on separate missions. And when we're together...I'll make sure you don't._

2B smiled as she gazed down at him again, then finally pulled her hand back and quietly moved to the door. With one last glance back, she stepped out and closed the door behind her, then headed back to her room to go back to sleep, now reassured that 9S was perfectly fine.

And she was going to make sure it stayed that way. The new emotions were a little confusing and frightening, but she couldn't say she disliked them.

Rather, as she got back into bed, she found that she actually _liked_ them.

...not that she would ever tell anyone that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2B is starting to break free of the mold!  
> Again, slightly shorter chapter; I probably could have combined the last chapter with this one, but I wanted them to be separate.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Description of a panic attack near the end (based off of the ones I get).
> 
> Quick list of terms which I don't remember if I explained in the chapter:  
> KoS = Kill on Sight  
> MIA = Missing in Action  
> AWOL = Away Without Leave (though typically, it takes a month of a soldier being AWOL to be declared as a possible deserter)

A few kids stared, but it wasn't like 9S was enduring complete isolation anymore. Even A2 and A4 (at the prodding of A4) had come back to their usual seats at breakfast. What was a little unusual was that instead of an empty space next to 9S, it was filled by 32S.

A2 pointed to him with her spork. "What's shy-boy doing here?"

32S ducked his head, his cheeks a bit red.

9S frowned at her. "32S is really nice. Don't be a jerk, A2."

A2 blinked, then grinned. "Oh? Is the crybaby finally gaining a backbone...?"

A4 elbowed her friend. "Seriously A2, _stop_."

2B agreed. "I know why you're doing this, but it isn't right. Take it out on a training dummy."

A2 scowled and looked away.

9S, who had been reassuring 32S that "she's always testy like that", turned to his friend with a confused look. "Did something happen on the mission, Twoobs?"

A2, A4, and 2B all stiffened slightly.

Then, A2 stabbed at her eggs in a display of violence which was a bit excessive, even for her.

2B shook her head. "22B...died."

9S immediately ducked his head. "Sorry, Twoobs."

2B shrugged. She wanted to say something like "we weren't close", or maybe "no need to be sorry, it's only natural"...but those new and complicated emotions held her back.

Some of the others who had been on the battlefield were already trying to guess if the person to be added to their squadron to replace 22B was going to be a boy or a girl.

Surprisingly, 32S also echoed the apology. "Sorry to hear."

2B idly wondered if all of the Scouts were more in tune with emotions, or if it was just 9S (and now apparently, 32S). _Thinking on it, they certainly display more...some of the A-designations also show emotions out of battle, and 6O is probably one of the chattiest Operator-types I know._

The rest of the A, B, and D types were typically just as stoic.

The perfect child soldiers.

That thought made 2B's skin crawl for some reason.

9S stammered his way through a change of topic, for which they were all grateful of. _I've heard of them dying on the field before...what if that had been Twoobs? And she just...didn't return?_

He would always get nervous when 2B's squadron returned from the battlefield, because he was afraid that 2B would be absent.

9S nearly grabbed 2B's hand impulsively, but instead shifted his leg so that his knee brushed up against hers.

2B startled a moment, but only by a flicker of her eyes before she tilted her head towards him in an indication that she got the message.

It wasn't the first time he showed emotion like that.

"Twoobs?" 9S's voice was quiet, his throat tight with fear.

"Hmm?"

"You...you'll do your best to...you know...come back, right?" 9S asked so quietly that only she was able to hear.

Even A2 and A4, who sat across from them (engaged in their own heated debate, which looked more like A4 scolding A2) didn't hear it.

2B tapped her knee back against his. She had never done that before, only let him initiate all contact. But between the new emotions which welled up inside of her and last night's dream, she wasn't going to ignore his reaches for comfort.

Because now, she understood his fear.

"I'll do my absolute best to return. I don't plan on dying," 2B said softly to him. _I don't want to leave you alone._ She couldn't seem to say it, though.

Still, 9S understood and relaxed. He particularly found the continued contact with her to be comforting, and wished he could hug her without drawing too much attention to them.

He didn't want to get her in trouble, though, so he kept his hands to himself.

"Thanks, Twoobs." 9S smiled at her.

2B returned the smile, though hers was a little smaller since she was still opening up.

9S wanted to ask about why she was showing more emotions, but didn't want to jinx it or ruin it. _Maybe she's upset over 22B's death. I don't even want to think about Twoobs dying..._

32S merely observed curiously. He saw the subtle touches, and wondered if that was part of some family.

9S gave the other Scout a smile to make sure he didn't feel left out, and then his smile brightened when it was (shyly) returned. _That's the most smiles like...ever! Sometimes, I wish that we could be out there like normal kids and just smile like this and not have to worry about so much. Maybe when the war ends..._

The war had been going on for quite some time before their meager two years into it, after all. More and more, they were hitting military bases and other strategic spots.

9S hoped that it meant the war was going to end. _I've got to step up my hacking, then. So I can maybe get us out of the facility when the war ends._

Determined, he went back to eating his breakfast and talking more about the research he and the other Scout had done into family for the rest of their meal.

2B found it extremely pleasant.

* * *

9S used the computers during free time (and occasionally during lunch, since nobody cared if he skipped that) to try and find out more information on families and the facility. He was often joined by 32S, who was able to at least hack to the external internet on 9S's instructions. 9S was just about to attempt yet another hack into the facility database to try and find their parents when an alarm sounded throughout the base.

At first, 9S worried that maybe he had set off that alarm with the start of his hacking, and exchanged a worried look with 32S, but then a rather monotone voice called over the loudspeakers:

**"Attention all YoRHa squadrons! Emergency mission ordered! All B, O, and S types from Squadrons 9-14 and 15-19 are to report to the mission debriefing Room 001 immediately. Sortie! Repeat..."**

9S shut down the computer after quickly erasing all traces of his presence (as did 32S for his computer), then hurried out of the room.

The hallway was filled with the other units who were exiting rooms and making their way to aforementioned briefing room in various states of confusion, worry, and the occasional apathy.

The two Scouts met up with 2B outside of the briefing room, which was just an empty room with a few desks (pushed to the sides) and a widescreen at the front (for any images needed for debriefing of missions).

9S wanted to ask her what she thought of the situation, but in the silence only penetrated by their boots on the floor since by then the message had repeated its usual three times, he didn't want to be caught talking.

Commander White herself stood at the front of the room, flanked by four lieutenants who stood two on either side of each other.

6O brightened when she saw 2B and 9S, though with the heavy and solemn atmosphere of the room even _she_ didn't wave. It wasn't like they were told to line up by their unit assignment, so the three, plus 32S, stood near each other while shooting one another looks of worry and curiosity.

21O was also nearby, and was practically pulled over by 6O.

Honestly, both 2B and 9S wondered how the two were friends with such opposite personalities.

Everyone knew better than to whisper, so they just stood at ease as they filled the rows; the 9-14 Squadron and the 15-19 Squadrons rarely intermingled, same as the 4-8 squadron. Thus, they were even more confused by the appearance of old friends/comrades and one another.

In fact, they didn't even tend to bump into one another in the hallways, which really made 9S wonder how everyone managed to get around without seeing each other. _Unless the 15-19 Squad are on a higher floor? I know there's an upper floor...maybe we're on a ground floor since we never have to use any stairs, and 15-19 are on a floor above us..._

That made the most sense.

9S didn't have long to contemplate it before Commander White was calling for their attention once kids stopped trickling into the room and the door was closed.

"Attention!" White called, which caused anyone who might have still been getting into line to quickly find a spot and click their heels together. Once White's gaze swept over the large group of kids, she nodded. "At ease."

Feet spread shoulder-width, and hands behind their backs, the boys and girls aged from nine to 19 stood silently for their orders.

"As you all know, there was a recent operation yesterday in two locations. All units from squadron 15-18 and all but the Scouts and a couple Operators from Squadron 9-14 were deployed to the battlefield. During the course of the mission, lasting a week for both squadrons, multiple units fell."

It was war, after all; nobody acted surprised. Even the Scouts from 9-14 who had not been on the mission weren't _too_ surprised to hear about a death...or few.

"Two units from Squadron 15-19 were declared as MIA, and had still not been tracked down by the time the mission concluded," White continued. "Our Operators have been scanning the area around the battlefield for them..."

 _Well, that explains why the Operators have been busy this morning_ , 9S thought.

2B also shared a similar conclusion.

"...and finally picked up on their transmitter location after being unable to find them via the communicators."

Nobody else really reacted, but 9S blinked. _Transmitters? I thought our communication watches was how we were tracked via computer radio technology. What transmitter?_

While everyone else figured that it had to do with the communication watches as being transmitters, 9S was a little more suspicious about it.

After all, there was a _lot_ of secrecy around the facility; he couldn't even find a floor plan for their own floor without hacking into the database, and the encryptions for the rest of the facility's floorplan had even more encryptions.

Plus the question of family...

9S felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. _Can they track us without the watches? We don't have to wear the watches around the facility all the time, though we're technically supposed to..._

It was how he wasn't caught that day when he skipped training to do some hacking; he had left his watch behind in his room.

_...but if there's another way to track us since we can take those watches off..._

That was disconcerting.

White had pointed to a couple places on the screen behind her with her whip/pointer, meanwhile, and 9S was finally clued back into what she was saying when everyone around him replied with a crisp: "Yes, ma'am!"

9S looked at the map and didn't take too long to figure out that the Commander had been pointing to the locations of the transmitters.

White turned to them fully again. "Your mission will be to spread out in pairs, in communication with your assigned Operators who will be setting up camp at the previously used base area, and find 64B and 8H. Chances are that they are on the move, and since they haven't tried to make contact with us, that they might have gone AWOL."

Shivers went up from a few in the room. Turning traitor wasn't even something that the more curious of the Scouts ever thought about.

Granted, some of 9S's musings might often be on a level of borderline mutiny, but it wasn't like he was just going to up and abandon his post or turn against YoRHa. He just wanted to know what they were hiding, that was all.

"B-units, you will be to guard the S-units as they track 64B and 8H. This mission requires _stealth_ and discretion. You are _not_ to share the details of this mission, or what happens within, to any unit not given this mission."

Well, that explained why the A-units hadn't been summoned.

9S had a feeling that Commander White had already decided somehow that the two they were searching for turned traitor. _If it was just a search and rescue, then she wouldn't have needed to summon two separate squadrons. And if she didn't think they were dangerous, only S-units and O-units would be assigned to the mission._

After a couple more warnings about secrecy, White questioned: "Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Came the response from those assembled.

White nodded, and the screen shifted to show a variety of numbers and letters. "These will be your assignment teams. Squadron 15-19 will go to the flight deck, while Squadron 9-14 will be deployed via the ground transportation garage. Form up and suit up, then report to your designated transportation areas within ten minutes."

She then shifted to salute, feet together and her right elbow bent at chest level with her fist against her left pectoral area. "Glory to Mankind!"

They all moved immediately and saluted as they echoed the war-cry of the Allied Forces.

"Glory to Mankind!"

After that, it was organized chaos as they found their names on the board and then went to change into their combat uniforms.

9S allowed himself a breath of relief. "2B, we're partnered!"

2B nodded. "Good." She, too, felt relieved. It meant she could protect him.

6O stepped up to their side with a cheerful wave as the three headed out (after 6O wished 21O good luck).

"Heya! Looks like we're all partnered together!" 6O beamed as they hurried back to the hallway which contained their rooms so that they could change.

"Thank goodness." 9S let out a breath of relief. "No offense to 21O, but I can never get her to loosen up! Your friend is a little scary sometimes, 6O."

"And you often state your mind." 6O giggled in amusement. "You know what they say! Loose lips sink boats!"

2B glanced at her in confusion, while 9S giggled.

"It's 'loose lips sink _ships_ ', 6O."

"Smartass..." 6O muttered playfully.

2B didn't want to be _that person_ , but had to at least remind them: "When we're on the mission, we can't have any unnecessary chatter lest we be discovered. It sounds in all likelihood as if Commander White has already switched their statuses from 'MIA' to 'AWOL'."

9S grimaced. "Yea...I picked up on that, too. Also...transmitters? Did either of you two know that they had another way of tracking us besides the watches?"

6O gave him a confused look. "Isn't that what Commander White was referring to? Their watches?"

9S wasn't so sure. "Why would they continue to wear the YoRHa-issued watches, which we all _know_ are communicators and tracking devices, if they're going to go AWOL?"

6O shrugged.

2B thought on it as they reached the hallway with their rooms. "Perhaps they're laying a trap. If they've joined up with any Empire soldiers...we have no way of knowing since YoRHa can only keep track of the position of other YoRHa."

9S hesitantly mumbled an agreement. _Either a trap, or they have a transmitter planted somewhere on us so that they can find us if we try to go AWOL._

Neither option made 9S feel any better about this mission or its implications.

* * *

The ride was fairly tense, but there was a little more whispering among the groups than there usually was. After all, there had never been an official declaration of "AWOL" for as long as they could remember hearing.

9S wanted to chatter nervously, but was instead reading the information on the two AWOL kids from his watch's information data banks.

6O talked quietly to 2B (and 21O who sat next to her) as if she didn't have a care in the world despite the previous knowledge that the two might have been setting up a trap.

9S's eyes scrolled through the text and pictures on his watch of their targets. _8H used to be a Scout, and though she scored high on computer hacking, her stealth scores were low. 64B has an Attacker-level skill score, but worked better as an all-rounder B-unit._

Not only that, but their designations...8H hadn't been switched to the Healer-unit until she had entered the 9-14 Squadron.

_Both are, or were, currently in Squadron 15-19. We were told to "neutralize" them if found. If they are just MIA, we're to take them back. If they went AWOL..._

It was a KoS order should any team find them.

 _...Kill on Sight._ 9S felt queasy just thinking about it. Destroying robots was one thing, but if he had to fight against another human...especially someone from _YoRHa_...

"You alright, Nines?" 2B whispered to him after discreetly observing his pallor.

"Y-yea..." 9S stammered. _Commander White obviously must think that they've gone AWOL, or she wouldn't have sent nearly every single Scout on the mission._

Some of the B-units had been just sent back to their rooms since there were typically more B-units than S-units, and there were only enough O-units for one Operator to be assigned to each group.

The younger, less experienced ones were the first to be sent back to go on standby, though some who hadn't shown as great promise in battle were also put on standby.

That, and though this was listed as an "S-Rank priority mission", command couldn't just send every single one of them out in case an order for deployment came through.

Thus, only the "elite" and "high performance" kids in the squadrons were sent.

9S was a little relieved that it meant 32S was staying behind on standby since he had started to see the kid as a little brother, but he still didn't look forward to his own assignment.

"Bullshit," 2B quietly called him out on his status. "You're pale. Are you feeling ill?"

9S wanted to laugh nervously, but merely switched the watch off of the data feed he had been scrolling through to turn his attention to her. "I don't get motion sick."

"That's not what I'm asking. But...if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. Just that...I...I'll listen." 2B looked down a little shyly. "If...if you do want to talk about what's bothering you."

9S wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and let out a shaky breath. "I just...I don't know how you do it. Knowing that you'll be up against other _people_..."

2B tilted her head. "We were trained for it. B-units have to take the lives of other humans."

"But...these are, or were, fellow YoRHa soldiers." 9S mumbled quietly. Like the others, he also did not usually fear death, and the concept of taking lives was something ingrained on all of them.

Even so, he never actually had to take the life of another human being...let alone people who used to be comrades. He didn't know 64B or 8H very well, as they were already in Squadron 9-14 when he first entered the 4-8 Squadron (not that they were an active battlefield Squadron in that age group).

2B frowned slightly. To be honest, she didn't even want to think about it. Like 9S, she didn't personally know 64B or 8H; they were six years apart going by the age, so they were never in the same squadron.

It would sound callous of her to just say that they were "just enemy soldiers now", she felt. If it had been anyone else, maybe she would have said that, but this was _Nines_ who was obviously uncomfortable with the job ahead of them.

A few other Scouts looked a tad uncertain as well, but she couldn't be cold to 9S.

What did she say, though? "I...don't worry, Nines. Just provide backup fire for me, and I'll do what needs to be done."

9S was partially relieved to hear that, but then instantly felt guilty. "I...I can't just...that means that you'll have to...to...kill them." _Shit, my hands are shaking..._

When was the last time he had felt fear this intense? That sinking feeling in his gut which made him wonder if he was going to throw up?

Probably during his very first deployment, though this somehow felt worse.

It was even hard to breathe...

"Nines."

There was a hand in his as he felt his chest constricting.

"Nines, it's alright. Breathe with me. You're panicking."

Oh.

Well, that explained why he felt so hot, and the shaking...as well as why he was having trouble breathing.

2B gripped his hand with one of hers, and with her other, tapped out a steady rhythm of a heartbeat (her heartbeat) on the back of his hand. "Follow the pattern."

It was what they were taught, after all. Panic was rare, but not unheard of, even with all of their "emotion suppression" training and combat training.

9S wiped sweat off his brow with his free hand. "K-kay..."

"Shut up." 2B quipped. "Focus on our breathing. In sync."

Thankfully, everyone else on the transport were either apathetic towards 9S's panic attack or were talking in low tones amongst themselves so they didn't even notice.

9S slowly felt his vision go back to normal, and the sweat on his uniform was whisked away by the weave before it could turn too much into a now cold sweat. He still felt shaky and vulnerable, but with 2B there, his fear slowly started to dissipate.

9S wiped his eyes from the tears which had gathered, and continued to breathe with 2B even after his shaking turned into just trembling, and then that finally went away.

2B could have let go of his hand now, but instead gave his a gentle squeeze as she silently continued to keep up with the breathing exercises.

Finally, 9S bowed his head and closed his eyes. "Th-thanks, Twoobs. I dunno what came over me..."

He didn't pull his hand away as he continued to seek the comfort of his very best friend being there with him.

"You aren't used to assignments like that, so it's not unusual." 2B assured him. "Here."

9S started slightly when a canteen was pressed into his free hand. "But this is yours..."

"And yours is right now sitting behind your back, and you're still trembling. I already opened mine for you." 2B didn't mind sharing.

9S felt exhausted already, and the mission hadn't even started! Still, he mumbled a thanks and took a drink from the canteen. The water was still cool since the temperature of the van was regulated and they hadn't been out under the hot sun yet. He didn't exactly feel parched, but the sensation of the water down his throat helped to ground him even more.

He didn't want to drink all of her water, so after a couple of sips, he handed it back to her with a "thanks".

2B smiled as she one-handedly screwed the top back on and pushed it back to hang at her belt. "Welcome." _He's still pale, but some of his color has returned._ "Hey, maybe it won't even be our group which finds them. You'll feel really silly for having worried over nothing."

9S slapped a hand over his mouth to not break out in raucous and hysterical laughter, and just squeezed her hand again as a small giggle made its way out.

2B had been momentarily concerned, afraid that he was actually going to vomit, but was relieved when she heard the (still slightly nervous) chuckle.

9S dropped his hand and leaned back against the wall of the truck. "Yea."

"Feeling better now?" 2B still didn't remove her hand, even after his answer.

"I am. Thanks, Twoobs. You're the best."

2B nearly jerked her hand out of his, but for some reason...she held on. Even though she felt a little...embarrassed?...at the compliment, she also felt warmed by it. A surge of emotion went through her chest, but this time she wasn't afraid of it.

Rather, she embraced the warm, almost tingly, feeling which enveloped her.

They didn't release each other's hand until the truck finally pulled to a halt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured out of all of them, 9S would be the one to be affected by panic the most.  
> ...and maybe I just wanted a reason for 2B to be his knight and help him out. ;p One thing I loved about Nier Automata (besides its ability to cause me to have an existential crisis at the end) was the "reversed roles" sort of thing; that 2B typically had to go save 9S (particularly in Route B). I wanted to try and keep some of that in this story, as well.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to use standard military weapons for describing what everyone was holding, but then remembered that I set this during WW4...so that means that weapons would be most likely upgraded from what is common in today's military.
> 
> Chapter Warning: Very minor F/F (lesbian characters)

* * *

Looking back on it, 9S would have preferred to feel silly for his panic attack as opposed to staring down the two 16-year-old soldiers who stood across from them.

Their area of search wasn't even near the last known spot of the transmitter, so 9S didn't even know _why_ they had the misfortune to meet up with them.

Alright, yes...he had followed a set of trails through some wooded area and noticed other things which were out of place, but he half expected that he was tracking some giant boar.

After all, the 15-19 Squadron groups were deployed in the immediate vicinity of the transmitters, while they and other 9-14 Squadron members sent on the mission were deployed outside of the range in an area sweep.

In fact, 2B and 9S stumbled upon the two nearly on the boarder of Allied and Empire territory.

64B was a tall teenager with dark gray hair, and a military grade short rifle pointed at them in her gloved hands while a curved, tanto-like sword sat at her hip. She, like her partner, appeared to have no injuries save a field dressing around her left ear.

8H also had a similar bandage, and had blond hair stained red at the tips and steely eyes as she aimed the small/carry size military pistol in her hands, pointed at them as well. A YoRHa issued combat knife was at her belt.

Close quarters combat was not preferred with the B-unit, as most of them fired rifles from behind trenches and other cover.

Scouts weren't allowed any heavy weaponry, and while some Scouts and Defense units trained in sniping, 9S wasn't one of them.

Not that sniping would be helpful in this situation.

"Call for backup and I shoot." 64B said in a cold tone.

2B had positioned herself slightly in front of 9S as they stood a mere 25 meters apart since 9S had accidentally stumbled upon them in a clearing of the woods.

Literally, since he and 2B had emerged from behind a bush.

The clearing was still small, and still had undergrowth like plants and small bushes. There were rocks scattered around, as well as a couple larger ones. Trees lined the rest of the area.

At this range, any B-unit worth their title could accurately hit their target.

"They're not from our old squad," 8H noted. She looked from the military pistol at 9S's belt to the Carbine in 2B's hands, then said to her partner: "The girl is a B-unit given her weapons. The boy...a Scout."

2B leveled her gaze at them. She had her Carbine aimed at them, as instincts had allowed her to draw her weapon at the same time as 64B did before they both came to a standstill.

9S hadn't reacted fast enough, and was frozen mid-way to his pistol while 8H had whipped out her own weapon just a fraction slower than 64B did.

Evidently, she had been trained in other forms of combat with that movement speed, as most Healer-types and even Scanner-types weren't as quick to draw their weapons.

"64B and 8H...YoRHa has issued a command for you to be brought in if you merely went MIA." 2B stated calmly.

9S was glad for her calm countenance, because he was literally staring down death and felt his heart race slightly. He was a _Scout_ ; he wasn't used to having guns pointed at him. It was his job to infiltrate and get behind enemy lines, not to draw fire. _If I can just subtly turn on the watch...or hope that 6O hasn't noticed that we stopped moving..._

Due to the nature of the mission, the Operators weren't supposed to initiate contact unless they didn't check in during scheduled times. However, if 6O got concerned with their lack of movement, it was possible that she might try to contact them.

Such a thing would certainly break the deadlock.

"Go back?" 64B scoffed. "As if we'd want to go back to _that place_!"

8H was at least a little kinder, but her voice still hard. "You two have no idea, do you?"

"We only know the mission." 2B responded.

9S, however, couldn't stop his curiosity. "What...know what? Is there _really_ a secret of the facility?"

64B didn't even spare him a glance, her focus completely on the biggest threat to her, which was 2B.

8H looked at him. "You're a Scout...with extra curiosity to boot. Have you ever wondered about the facility? We're not even told where it is..."

"What are you doing, 8H?" 64B hissed.

"Talking," the other girl replied, then looked back to the confused pair. "You've seen the adults on the battlefield when you get deployed...or at least, your partner there has."

9S hesitated, then gave a small nod. _I've seen them, too...at base camps and check-in points._

2B interrupted. "It is our job as YoRHa to aid the Allies in their fight against the Empire."

64B spat something crude.

8H still was patient with them. "Have you never wondered _what_ or _why_? War is for _adults_ , not children. Even our age bracket...unless there are dire circumstances, only men and women aged 21 and above can go into active combat. Though people from ages 18 to 20 can join the military, they will never see combat except under extreme conditions."

9S swallowed past a lump in his throat. "Then...why are...are we sent in? Instead of being allowed to play like normal kids...?"

2B snapped at him. "Quiet, Ni...9S." _This is not the time for your curiosity! It's gravely apparent that these two have gone traitor!_

9S flinched, but though he was frightened, he knew not to take it personally that she didn't call him "Nines" while out on a mission.

"So you're aware of part of it." 8H mused. "Yes. Children our age should be out playing or going to school and hanging out with friends, not fighting in wars."

"8H, shut..." 64B started.

8H shook her head. "Maybe I can get them to see! Just like we did when I discovered the truth!"

9S stiffened. "The...the truth? Does it have to do with our lack of parents and being kids on the battlefront?"

8H nodded to him. "You're a sharp one. Yes. The Facility is not a good place. They don't even care when one of us dies...that's because _we're replaceable_. Tell me, how many times has someone been added your squadron to replace someone who died? How many times were you actually allowed to get close to or mourn one of the dead?"

Even 2B stiffened at this as she recalled her conflicted feelings over 22B's death.

That was when 8H said something which even made 2B lose her stoic facade for a split second.

"22B was supposed to come with us...but he was too obvious about it. He accidentally spilt his plans to desert to another unit and was killed in battle."

2B gulped, then frowned. _Don't let the traitors confuse you!_ "22B was shot down by the enemy. I saw him go down in my peripheral vision."

"You saw him go down...but you didn't see from where, now did you? That's because they came from _behind_. We heard all about it by hacking into the YoRHa transmissions. They purposely had him killed...Executed him and made it look like just a casualty of war. Even now, you are ready to gun us down. That's what traitors get. That's what people who learn the _truth_ get.

"The facility never lets you see your parents. Why is that? Where are they? Where were we born? That's another secret of theirs! They don't want you to know the truth because it would decrease your moral...or you would defect," 8H stated.

2B gripped her gun steady. "Stop feeding us lies."

"Wait, Twoo...2B." 9S barely remembered to use her actual name instead of a nickname while on a mission. "This...this is what I've been trying to uncover."

8H briefly glanced at 64B. "Told you they're different."

"The shorter one, maybe. Her...she's just like the rest." 64B's eyes narrowed.

9S felt panic go through him when he saw her finger twitch near the trigger. "Don't shoot her, please!"

64B huffed. "Oh, come off it. You know that this scenario only has three outcomes. First is that you two ditch that crime-against-humanity of a facility and come with us. Second is that your pal there shoots us dead. Third...is that we shoot the two of you dead."

2B didn't flinch.

9S felt sweat roll down his face.

8H looked at them sadly, her own pistol still raised.

64B became more agitated. "I just got free of them...just got ready to live my own life! We even discovered the transmitters and cut them out! I won't allow us to be taken back to fight in some war started by adults and which should only be fought by adults!!"

9S's head felt like it was spinning. _The truth...they still haven't really touched upon it, but they confirmed the transmitters. We have another transmitter somewhere on our body. I'm guessing near our ears since they both have bandages in identical locations. The facility is also hiding things from us._

And why were they out fighting a war and having to suppress their emotions? Why couldn't they just play normal games and have a family like other kids?

8H seemed to notice the dawning realization in his eyes. "You know part of the puzzle. They can have you killed for that. A comrade of yours might turn into your Executioner...like with 22B. But you have a chance right now. I can tell you the rest later. We're near the boarder...we don't want to join the Empire. We just want to live as kids."

64B's hands trembled as she nodded in agreement. "Fuck this fighting. Hell, don't make me shoot you two. I want to be done with this bloodbath!"

"The area up ahead is neutral," 8H stated. "Then, what's left of the Empire's forces are beyond it. If we can get the word out on what the facility really is...did you know that the adult soldiers we meet when deployed are under strict orders to not discuss YoRHa units? Not to _anyone_. We're a military secret. _Children soldiers_. Our emotions stamped out, taught to normalize death and war...killing is not _normal_. Fighting wars is not _normal_ for children. Death is inevitable, but killing is _not_."

2B refused to believe what she was hearing. It conflicted with everything she had been taught, and even though there were times when 9S seemed to be on a similar wavelength, she felt that she would be lost without having to fight.

Yet...

_Is this really right?_

_Is this really what I want?_

_What I want..._

_What I want doesn't matter. I'm YoRHa. I am part of an elite tactical squadron._

_And yet...part of me is tired of fighting. Part of me..._

She recalled her vivid nightmare where 22B's body had turned into 9S's.

_I don't want him to die. He's getting closer and closer to the truth with his hacking, and now he knows even **more**. He's very tight-lipped about his hacking, but if he lets even one iota of it slip, they'll...they'll kill him._

Or, if this continued, 64B and 8H might kill him.

Could she open fire before an older, faster, and more experienced soldier of the same unit designation did? Especially a desperate one?

If she did open fire, would they kill 9S as well?

_My orders are to kill them if they've gone AWOL. They've gone AWOL. I should open fire while 8H is talking. A single burst is all it'll take. 64B won't even be able to pull the trigger. Then...why am I hesitating?_

"We don't have families." 8H looked close to tears as she stared at 9S. "I still was unable to find out exactly how we came to the facility, but we're either orphans or...well, abandoned by our parents at a young age. Taken into the facility...trained to be soldiers and had basic emotions like _fear_ and _love_ conditioned out of us. How many of the people back at the facility are your honest to goodness _friends_? Do you know what a 'friend' even is?"

"I...I know! We both know!" 9S felt shaken by the words as they confirmed quite a lot for him...and made him want to double his efforts to hack their database. Their birth records _had_ to be in there.

Disposable soldiers...that sounded about right to him as well. _A2, A4, and Twoobs were broken up about the death of 22B, but nobody else seemed particularly affected. I'm more afraid of having to kill another person than of dying..._

According to these two, that wasn't normal.

And it sounded like at least 8H had been looking into the same things he was currently looking into.

"Twoobs..." 9S mewled. "Let's..."

"We're not going with them." 2B could hear the waver in his voice. _But then, what am I going to do? I'm rapidly losing my chance to down them...why am I hesitating now?_

8H continued to plead their case. "Listen to your partner! We don't want to fight! We don't want to kill you two! We just want to be _free_!"

"Twoobs...they...they _know stuff_. And..."

2B shook her head. "I...we'd be hunted. If you went with them, they would send more elite units after _us_. You'd be _killed_. I'm not going to allow that!"

64B snorted. "As if you can stop an entire squad. It's just two against two right now, but if they send out larger groups...we're screwed. Your little pal there will die. You will die."

"I don't care if I..." 2B started.

9S stared at her incredulously, tears in his eyes. "Well, _I do_!!"

2B spared him a glance in surprise.

9S sniffled as he clenched his hands into fists. "I don't want _you_ to die, either, Twoobs! There's something _wrong_ at the facility! These two evaded capture, and we're _right by the border_...!"

"And then what?! You think that once we pass through the small neutral zone that anyone on the Empire side is going to let us just waltz in?! What happens when the Allies win the war, which they obviously _will_? We'll be caught by them and executed if we're a military secret! Haven't you two thought of that, as well!?" 2B snarled.

64B growled.

8H bowed her head. "I know it's a longshot. But there will always be neutral zones in a war, and in post-war. We can stay there and find our way...perhaps at an orphanage. War leaves a lot of orphans. We figured we would mingle with them...ditch the weapons and uniforms..."

"Stuff it, 8H. Don't tell them all our plans so they can report it back to their base."

8H looked at them with tears in her eyes. "Please! I don't want 64B to die, either! And I don't want to die! We just...we just want to be free! We just want to be kids!"

2B felt shaken, but didn't show it. "Your friend said it, herself. There are only three solutions." She also knew that diplomacy had ended and she lost her chance at a preemptive strike. _Now what? If it comes down to us opening fire, Nines might get hit in the crossfire..._

64B tensed, as she obviously entertained similar thoughts.

"No! Stop!" 9S cried as his mind raced. "There...there's another option!"

Silence filled the clearing.

Even 2B had to admit that she was having trouble not empathizing with the plight of the two girls. She didn't _want_ to kill them. She had orders...

Right.

Orders.

"We have orders, Nines. There's no way around it..."

"Yes there is! We're at the edge of the boarder. Past the trees, a couple more miles through the forest, is neutral territory, remember? We don't _have_ to fight them! We can let them go!"

2B stared at him incredulously.

64B's eyes widened, while 8H looked hopeful.

9S took a shaking breath, but didn't want to wipe his eyes in case it caused 64B to startle and open fire at them. Since 2B was slightly in front of him, that meant she would take the brunt...

"And what do we tell command, exactly? You're talking about _lying_." 2B felt familiar fear rise up in her. "We'll be court marshaled if caught...executed worse-case scenario."

"And we could die if a firefight breaks out here, too. I don't want you to die, Twoobs. I can't lose you!" 9S sobbed.

2B hesitated. "Nines..."

9S managed to compose himself. "I have a plan." It was going to majorly _suck_ for him, but it was the only way to get them all out alive. There was also no way 2B would agree to it if he explained it, not with how adamant she was to prevent him from getting hurt.

"I need you to trust me, Twoobs. And...and you two, as well. I'm going to move. I'm not getting a weapon, and I'm not going to activate my communicator watch. You can shoot me if I do."

"Nines...!"

"Please trust me!" 9S looked up, determination blazing in his eyes.

2B glanced uneasily to the two fugitives. "We're aiding fugitives, Nines..."

"Command won't know. They can't read our minds. But we have to compensate for holding still for so long. They have no way of tracking these two...I can keep secrets, and you're good at holding back. Would you feel guilty for letting them go, Twoobs?"

2B gritted her teeth. _I have a duty...but this is Nines...to protect Nines, I..._

Finally, she relented and lowered her weapon. "I trust you, Nines."

9S smiled, then looked to the other two.

8H urged on her partner. "Please, 64B...I don't want to be forced to kill anymore. I don't want _you_ to be forced to kill anymore. We have each other. We agreed to that. 22B is...is gone. If we don't make it, then...it'll be for nothing."

64B was half tempted to kill the two younger ones now. Only, she hesitated. It was the same reason she didn't try to preemptively fire on them while 8H was talking; because these two were _different_.

Any other unit wouldn't have heard them out; they would have just open fired as soon as they confirmed them to be AWOL.

"Put the gun away." 64B demanded.

2B hesitated. She had lowered her weapon, but still held it in her hands.

8H placed a hand on 64B's arm. "Lower your weapon, hun. _Please_."

64B gritted her teeth, then finally pointed the muzzle of her gun at the ground as well.

8H let out a small sob of relief, then gave the other girl a kiss.

2B and 9S stared, gobsmacked.

"Thank you." 8H whispered to the other girl, then turned to the two with a smile. "And thank you both. Keep your heads down, okay? We'll spread the word about the facility, and with our information, there's no way that activists won't finally get loud enough to stop them from sending you all out to kill and be killed."

The never-ending cycle...

2B felt both afraid and hopeful at the same time. _I...I don't want to anymore. I'm tired of spilling blood. Of seeing the light leave their eyes. Of the possibility that I could die and leave Nines alone, or Nines could die and I'd have nothing left to live for._

9S nodded to them. "I've got our side covered with a plan. No worries...it doesn't involve ratting you two out. As far as they know, we didn't even meet. It's fortuitous that this was a stealth mission...no listening devices or comms running."

8H wiped her eyes. "Indeed. Thank you again. So much. And please be careful, you two."

9S nodded, and felt light; like he had finally made a choice and done the right thing.

A choice.

They were never given _choices_ at the facility.

Even "free time" wasn't a choice, but a scheduled activity where they had to report where they were spending it.

But this was an active _choice_.

Even 2B felt similarly. Rather than guilty, she felt warm. Enough so that she slung her gun back over her shoulder with a sigh of released tension. "We never met."

64B hesitated, but then offered a grunt and a word of gratitude before she hurriedly ran off.

8H thanked them again, then ran after the other girl.

2B watched them go with conflicted emotions. _We made a choice. I could even pull my gun back out and take them down while their backs are turned..._

Yet, that caused a sour taste in her mouth. _I can't do that. I don't know how much of what they said was the truth, but I trust Nines._

Speaking of, she noticed that he had wandered over to a tree with some reasonably sized roots.

"Nines, what exactly is your plan to justify us spending so much time stopped at one point? Are you sure communications won't be an issue?" 2B frowned.

"Yep. No issue. I always check our watches on missions. And our gear. We're still between check-in times..." 9S took a deep breath, then let it out. "Don't be too mad at me, okay, Twoobs?"

2B felt sudden apprehension and dread. She could no longer hear the rustling of greenery or the footsteps of the other two soldiers; they had vacated quickly. "What are you planning?"

9S knelt down and started to rub dirt on his uniform; forearms, knees, and gloves especially. A bit on his chin as well. There was already some dirt from the couple times he had tripped over a root he didn't see while following the tracks, but even 2B was a little muddy.

He didn't enjoy pain or anything, but this was one of two believable stories which would absolve them. And at least this one wouldn't involve him eating a semi poisonous mushroom to have "gotten sick on the mission".

Nope...this would work just as well.

2B had no clue what he was planning as he stood with one foot between a couple tree roots as he finished patting himself down with dirt. "Nines? What...?"

"Obviously, I tripped because I was too focused on the tracks." 9S smiled at her. Then, he took a deep breath in. _One...two...!_

By the time 2B realized what he was going to do, she had only crossed the distance halfway to him; it wasn't in time to stop him.

9S twisted his left foot, wedged snugly in the tree roots, in a calculated and precise way.

A sickening "CRACK" could be heard, and despite his attempts not to, 9S screamed in pain.

2B had gotten there by then and caught him as he doubled over, sweating and gasping for breath as small little whimpers escaped his throat.

"Are you insane?!"

"A-accidents...h-happen..." 9S panted through the fiery agony which pulsed from his ankle. "...wh-when deployed..."

2B shook her head, then helped him to sit down. "I'll splint..."

"C-call...first. 6O." 9S's face scrunched up with pain as he grimaced. "Sh-she'll w-wonder what...took so long. Do...the first aid...after..."

"Geez...I could have...!" 2B started as she opened her canteen and thrust it at him, then stopped and realized that no...it would not have been realistic if she was the one to turn up with a careless injury.

But 9S, who did occasionally get caught in the terrain like many of the young Scouts?

Believable.

2B shook her head and on impulse, ran a hand through his sweaty bangs. "You're so damn _reckless_!"

"B-better than...being sh-shot!" 9S quipped back, then cringed again.

"Shut up and drink some water." 2B muttered about stupid, self-sacrificing idiots before she gathered herself enough to contact 6O with their cover story.

9S, meanwhile, leaned back against the tree with a pained smile. _I regret nothing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I'm sorry I had to hurt 9S! The both of them are pretty self-sacrificing, but 9S always seemed to throw himself into danger (and injury) without a second thought in the game, and I wanted to try and capture a little of that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that broken bones and tissue damage takes more time to heal, but just a quick note that technology has advanced (plus military technology), which is why the time frame is lessened.
> 
> Hrm...A2's potty mouth aside, I don't think there are any other warnings for this chapter.

* * *

9S was more shaken up by all of the revelations shared by 8H and 64B than breaking his own leg.

Technically, it was a hairline fracture of the tibia as well as some minor tissue damage to the ankle and instep. While the fracture was easily placed and splinted in a boot cast he had to wear for two weeks, even with medical and scientific advancements they used to cut down the recovery time, his ankle would still take three weeks to fully heal.

"You really did a number on yourself." 2B sighed in exasperation as she sat on a stool next to the bed 9S occupied in the medical bay. _I never want to see him in pain again._

In the very least, 9S's condition allowed herself to be distracted from thinking about everything the two traitors had told them.

"And _never_ do that again." 2B glowered at him.

9S attempted to smile, but faltered under her glare. "Right. Sorry, Twoobs." He idly rubbed the cheek she had smacked him on after splinting his leg. "I didn't mean to make you worry...sorry."

6O patted 2B on the shoulder twice from where she stood. "Ease up on him, 2B. It's not like he _meant_ to do that much damage to his leg by tripping over a tree root! Honestly, 9S...now I know what 21O has to deal with a little!"

Aforementioned girl, who had been dragged over by 6O, crossed her arms with a huff.

9S smiled sheepishly, especially at the glare 2B sent him. _Yea...I know. It was on purpose._

The plan had gone without a hitch; the reason they had held still for so long was believed since 2B only had field medic training and needed time to "assess the injury" before splinting his leg.

In reality, the splint hadn't taken too long since 9S told her exactly what to do as he was very much aware of the damage he had caused.

Granted, he hadn't meant to tweak the tissue that much.

32S, who had taken to following 9S around like a duckling while in the facility, fidgeted with the edge of his shirt. "I...I'm glad you aren't hurt too bad, 9S."

9S felt both warmed and guilty. He was happy that 32S actually seemed _worried_ about him, but guilty for making him (and 2B) worried considering that he had inflicted the injury upon himself.

Even the medics suspected nothing, as the nature of the injury looked like he had caught his foot in a tree root and tripped. His boots and uniform even had evidence of that.

If 2B wasn't torn between annoyed at his stunt and relieved that he didn't eat that poisonous mushroom he had mentioned briefly, she would have been impressed at his critical thinking skills.

9S gave 2B an apologetic look. "I'm really sorry, Twoobs." _I'm going to be making this up for days...I didn't mean to scare her that much._

6O bobbed her head. "Ease up on him, 2B. Seriously, your glare can rival 21O's, and I know _her_ glare can probably make hell freeze over!"

21O responded with the narrowing of her eyes at her friend. "Very funny. I don't understand why I'm even here..."

6O giggled. "Because you were worried when you heard 9S got hurt!"

9S blinked owlishly and turned to look at the Operator he had been assigned to for periodic check-ins ever since his truant stunt. "You were worried about me?" He couldn't keep the note of hope out of his voice.

21O averted her gaze. "It...it would be detrimental if you were injured further and were unable to perform your missions."

And if she was honest with herself, she would admit that yes, she had been momentarily worried when she heard he was injured.

Also, she wondered about the pang in her chest when she saw his crestfallen look at her response.

"Oh." 9S said quietly. "Sorry." _Suppressing emotions...putting the mission first. We can't just act like kids and have a normal life. Even 21O...is so focused and worried on the mission that interpersonal relationships are pretty much null. She lets 6O drag her around, but never seems to enjoy it. And I can't get her to open up, either..._

6O turned a reprimanding look at her friend. "Now look. You made him cry!"

21O frowned slightly, and only 32S who was an "observer" and read body language understood that 6O's statement made 21O actually feel guilty.

9S blinked, then wiped at his eyes just to find them dry which caused him to flush. "Hey! I wasn't crying! I just...I feel bad for causing so much trouble for everyone."

6O pinned 21O with a look. _He was still obviously hurt._ _We're talking later._

21O understood the implications of the look, and merely nodded.

Meanwhile, 2B let out a breath to release her irritation at her friend for the stunt he pulled; now wasn't the time to keep blaming him for it. _It was the only thing he could have done. And it wouldn't have been believable if I were the one to turn up injured. Command has no clue we even met up with the two units._

In the end, 64B and 8H hadn't been found...though, there were still pairs out there looking for them.

It solidified the case they had pleaded in 2B's mind, as she had been skeptical of it even as 9S attempted to convince her that they were telling the truth as they waited for a medical unit to arrive and pick them up...

_***Flashback***_

_"Twoobs...they weren't lying." 9S's face was still pinched in pain as he leaned against the tree, his left leg now splinted, but it didn't hurt as much since 2B gave him painkillers._

_Well, after slapping him and then hugging him for recklessly endangering himself._

_2B paced slightly. "I'm still not sure what to think. Part of what they said did resonate, I'll admit that. And I was honestly focused more on how to keep you alive rather than what they were saying."_

_"Wouldn't you like the war to end? If we never get out of the facility, we'll still be trained as soldiers...to kill and-or be killed. A never-ending cycle. They're right, Twoobs. Adults started this war. We have nothing to do with it." 9S said quietly, then grimaced._

_2B ran a hand through her hair in agitation. "I know that! I know...and lately, I...I've been agreeing with your mindset. I wouldn't really know how to be a normal kid after all of this, but..."_

_"You can do it. You can do anything, Twoobs. Are...are you scared about what happens if the facility is shut down?"_

_2B stopped in her pacing, then walked over and sat on a tree root near 9S. "..."_

_9S gave her a strained smile through the throbbing in his leg. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes, but not from pain this time. "I want us to be normal kids, Twoobs. I read so much about them...going to school, hanging out at malls, getting an allowance and going shopping, and...and being part of a f-family..."_

_2B looked from the ground to him to see his tears roll down his cheeks. **Oh, Nines...**_

_9S didn't seem aware of his tears. "I want us to be safe. Especially you, Twoobs. I h-hate the thought of losing you...when...whenever you come back from deployment when us Scouts aren't needed, every time I hear there was a death...I think...what...what if that had been you? How would I...I even...?"_

_They were alone, and according to the tracker on her watch, there would still be about five minutes until the medical transport came to pick them up._

_With no eyes on them, 2B knelt down in front of him and pulled him into an embrace._

_9S shuddered in her arms, then rested his forehead on her shoulder with a small sob as he clung to her uniform. "I...I can't lose you. We shouldn't be fighting this war...this stupid war! Even if these emotions are supposed to be forbidden as YoRHa soldiers...I don't care!_

_"I just...I just want to be with you. Be a family. Worry about studying for tests instead of whether or not you'll come back alive from deployment...or feeling sad because it's hard to get others in the squad to open up. I'm tired of fighting...tired of the nightmares...tired of not having a mom or dad..."_

_2B held him securely as he broke off into more sobs. "Nines..." What could she say? What should she say? She felt the exact same, after all. "I...don't think you're wrong. To want that."_

_The boy sniffled loudly and merely gripped onto her uniform a bit tighter._

_2B closed her tear-filled eyes and touched her head lightly against his. "I've been thinking lately. That maybe...after all your talk...it'd be nice. To have a family. To...to not have to worry about you dying if you get caught in enemy territory."_

_Many Scouts lost their lives on espionage missions. 2B hated to think about how they felt since Scouts either went alone or with another Scout._

_To imagine being in enemy territory, typically no friend in sight, and dying alone..._

_She tightened her hold on him. "I don't want the nightmares, either, Nines."_

_9S nodded into her shoulder. He knew it was extremely possible that their entire existence was just to fight a war for the adults..._

_No, that wasn't true anymore._

_He had 2B._

_There was also 6O and 32S...he still hadn't been able to break through to 21O so she didn't count..._

_But he knew at that moment that there was more to them all than just emotionless soldiers._

_***Flashback***_

"...ines? Nines?"

9S blinked as he came back to the present. "Hwuh?"

6O sputtered a laugh, and even 32S cracked a tiny smile at his odd response.

And if 21O's lips twitched upwards slightly, only 6O was in a position to see it.

2B peered at her friend, on her feet now. "Good. You just zoned out, there. I think maybe you should rest...you've been through a lot."

"Yea." 9S leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes. "I'm exhausted, I'll admit. Or, that's just the pain meds kicking in to knock me out."

6O and 32S giggled.

The more accident-prone 32S quietly said: "Probably the medicine. They give out strong stuff here."

He would know, after all; he probably held some sort of weird record for the amount of times he broke bones, got sprains, or managed to cut himself badly during training.

9S grinned at him in a knowing way.

"How long are you in the Medical Bay?" 2B asked him.

"Overnight. They wanna make sure I'm off my foot for twenty-four hours." 9S responded sleepily.

2B nodded, then realized he couldn't see said nod. Since the bed was sectioned off by medical screens and it was only their usual "group" (minus A2 and A4, who were in training currently), she placed a hand lightly on his head and ran her fingers through his hair.

9S let out a small noise of contentment as he relaxed further. "Th'nks, Twoobs."

6O blinked. "I'm surprised you know it's her."

9S's smile brightened. "'S Twoobs...I c'n feel it."

2B smiled back down at him as her chest filled with warmth. "Shut up and rest."

"Kay..." 9S quickly drifted off to sleep with 2B's hand still threading through his hair.

She didn't remove her hand until his breathing had completely evened out, and to her relief, nobody commented on it.

_I...want more peaceful moments like this. Well, without Nines being hurt. So maybe...I wish...the war would end and we can have families. I think I definitely like that idea._

* * *

6O and 21O sat on the grass by a tree in one of the "outdoor" areas...which, according to 9S and various other Scouts, was still indoors even though it looked like a grassy outdoor field with a dirt path around a small lake dotted with flowers and an open area with some benches under trees.

Basically, a place to walk and hang out.

"9S is a cute kid," 6O started their conversation during the free time. "I keep telling you that you don't need to be so cold to him."

21O shrugged. "I never wanted to be assigned _babysitting_ duty because one of the younger soldiers can't keep their curiosity to themselves."

"Are you _still_ upset that we had an escort for a week?"

"Not really..." 21O admitted. The escort hadn't impacted her life during that week, so though it was annoying for their presence to be there, it didn't really affect her personally. The younger kids had been more affected by it. "Our duty is to YoRHa."

"Oh come off it." 6O rolled her eyes. "Not saying it's not our duty, but there's no reason for us to act like the robots on the battlefield. We're still human."

"Emotions are..."

"Yes, yes...'to be squashed', 'to be suppressed', 'forbidden on the battlefield', etcetera, etcetera..." 6O waved her hand dismissively. "But we're not on the battlefield. You know, 9S and 32S have been talking about 'family' for the past few weeks."

"Family?" 21O questioned the word. "That concept which appears briefly in a couple of the books in the library?"

"Yup. A group of people who care about each other unconditionally..." 6O sighed wistfully as she looked at the artificial sky. "It sounds romantic."

"Roma...? No. Relationship such as that are forbidden."

"But there's a _romance_ to it. I'm not saying like lovers, but just...as a term. Something that's...cute. Or makes your heart feel like it's melting into a warm pile of goo."

"...ew."

6O nudged her. "You can't possibly tell me that you don't feel something warm whenever you see 2B and 9S interact."

21O couldn't deny that, no. However, she _was_ a little curious. Whenever he had to check in with her, 9S would try to strike up conversation.

Sometimes he would tell her that she looked pretty that day.

Other times he would tell her that unlike in the facility, there are things like snowstorms and hurricanes outside...and thunderstorms.

21O didn't really care about all that "positive charges" and "negative charges" or "resistance" he went on about when talking about lightning strikes.

But most of the time, he talked about family.

And 21O would be lying if she said she wasn't a _little_ bit interested. Often times, she waited for him to describe a few sentences of it before she would cut him off and close the communication line.

"I mean, wouldn't it be really cute to have a little brother like 9S or 32S?"

21O considered it. "32S, possibly. 9S is...a cheeky brat."

6O giggled. "But you're not opposed to the idea."

21O glanced around at some of the other kids milling about, but none of them had heard since they were talking softly. _6O is being oddly considerate about that, curbing her natural peppy tones to keep the conversation private._

6O took the silence as an affirmative. "I'd like to have little siblings like 2B and 9S. Even A2..."

21O raised an eyebrow at her. "A2 is rebellious, crude, and disrespectful towards authority."

"But that makes her endearing!"

21O stared at her friend. Sometimes, she just couldn't follow 6O's logic.

6O giggled at the boggled look she got as she rested her chin on her knees. "We've never had to draw our weapons, but we still see injured soldiers transported...and we're often the first to see those who perish whose bodies are brought back."

21O sobered and looked away. "Death is natural."

"But why do we have to help perpetuate it?" 6O asked so quietly that the other girl nearly didn't hear her.

"Pardon?"

"When 2B contacted me to tell me that 9S was injured..." 6O leaned back and placed a hand over her heart. "I got scared, 21O. My heart started racing, and my breath caught in my throat. It was only a couple of seconds since she then told me that it was a minor injury, but I...I thought...'what if'? What if they had encountered the AWOL girls and 9S was bleeding out?"

21O frowned and pulled her knees to her chest, then wrapped her arms around her legs at the mental image of that.

The young body of 9S or... _or even 6O_...

It made her shudder.

6O nodded. "I didn't tell anyone...you're the first person I've told about it. I'm afraid to tell one of the psychologists we have to report to. Because all they do is make me feel like these emotions aren't worth holding onto...that it's silly to feel that way. I stopped believing them when I met you and 2B two years ago."

21O remembered that; how it was rare for them to get an 8-year-old in their squadron, but that 2B had shown so much promise that she was assigned part-time to do training with Squadron 9-14.

"She was lonely...she and 9S had been friends even from a young age. She tried to stamp out those feelings, but during free time she couldn't. And for the half a year at the tail end of eight when she was with our squadron...she couldn't see him. I felt like I _had_ to try to cheer her up. It felt...wrong...suddenly to see someone so _young_ act no different from the enemy robots."

21O didn't disagree with her friend on that sentiment. Sometimes, she felt like a toy; like they all were toys. No different from the overgrown robots which the Alliance faced from the Empire.

Unfeeling...unmoving...uncaring when one of them stopped moving right next to them...

21O shivered and felt a lump in her throat which she swallowed hard against as she hugged her knees to her chest.

"So what I mean is...we should be nicer to them. I...I like the idea of a family, 21O. I'm usually assigned to be the Operator for 2B, and lately whenever she comes back with blood on her, _her own blood_ , I get that same feeling of fear and panic." 6O admitted.

21O had been a "floater" Operator until she was assigned to 9S not too long ago, so she couldn't say the same. _But when 6O came and got me and told me that he was injured during the mission..._

For a brief moment, she had experienced the same symptoms 6O had just described.

When she thought that the smiling chatterbox of a soldier was injured and before she learned of the extent of his injury, that flash of worry had been there.

She had even agreed quickly to go visit him in the Medical Bay since her own team had scoured their designated area and found nothing, so they were returned to the facility.

"Don't you feel the same?" 6O peered intensely at her friend. _Friend...I feel like it's more than that. It's different from what I feel around A4, whom I chat with just as often. And it's different how I feel about A2, 2B, and 9S. I like being around 21O. Others think she's cold, but she has a soft side. She just needs to let it break free._

21O looked around at the question, but still, nobody was really paying any attention to them. So, she hesitantly admitted: "...I...guess so. Yea. It just goes against everything we're taught, but..."

"...you can't help feeling it?" 6O smiled kindly at her. "I understand. And hey, try not talking to the facility psychologist about it. Trust me...these feelings can be a little confusing, but they're _warm_. I'd rather have them, even if I have to keep them to myself or only show them around a select group of people, than have them taken away from me. They're _my feelings_."

It was said so fiercely that even 21O was slightly taken aback.

Only slightly, because she completely agreed once she thought about it a little more.

_They're my feelings...they can't take them away._

Technically, she knew they could if they really wanted to. It would just take some rewiring of the brain, but so far she didn't _think_ they had actually done that to anyone.

Then again, with the two who went AWOL being the first, and having shown more emotion among their group from what she had gleaned from the older Operators when they were briefed on the situation...

6O seemed to follow her train of thought. "They're our emotions. Let's make sure it stays that way."

And 21O nodded without a second thought.

* * *

About half an hour before the dinner bell would ring, 9S got a couple more visitors and happily set aside the book he had been given (to "shut up his inane chatter", as quoted by the medical staff).

Though, he was a little surprised to see who they were. "A2! A4! Afternoon!"

"It's evening, bonehead." A2 teased him with a grin and a flick to his forehead.

9S rubbed the spot ruefully, though it wasn't the first time A2 had done this so he started taking it as one of her awkward ways of showing affection.

The dark-haired A4 still gave her friend a _look_ , then smiled at 9S. "We don't know the details of the mission itself, but we heard you were injured and A2 was worried..."

"I was not!!" A2 screeched, which caused a medic to pull back the curtain and hiss a warning.

A2 flushed while A4 apologized.

The medic gave A2 one more pointed look, then went about his rounds again.

A2 was about to more quietly deny the allegation until she saw the look of hope on 9S's face. So, she sighed and twirled a strand of her long hair. "Yea, yea...I wanted to see with my own eyes that you were okay. You're a pain in the ass, but you're _our_ pain in the ass."

9S scrunched up his nose. "Uh...thanks, I think...?"

A4 giggled. "She means, she's glad you're alright."

A2 huffed. "Alright plus a broken leg. What did you do? Trip over a tree root?"

9S shrugged. He didn't feel ashamed at his injury, though he did look at his fingers which he fiddled with in his lap in an act of slight shame so that he would appear embarrassed by the truth.

"No way." A2 blinked owlishly at him as she dropped her hand from her hair.

"Erm...I can't discuss actual mission specs, but uh..." 9S stammered.

"Holy fuck, you did." A2 gawked at him. "You actually tripped over a tree root."

A4 was tactful enough to not comment on it, but A2 wasn't.

Thus, the medic had to pop his head into the area again to tell them to pipe down when A2's raucous laughter filled the entire room.

A4 covered A2's mouth. "Sorry about that."

"Last warning. Next time, I'm kicking you out!" The medic groused, then stormed off.

9S had a hand over his mouth to muffle his giggles. "Wow...and I thought _I_ was the one always accused of annoying folks...ow! Don't hurt the patient!"

A2 had flicked his forehead again. "We're in the Medical Bay...they'll patch you up again."

9S rubbed the now red spot on his head. "Seriously, I like my braincells where they are, A2. But, ah...I do appreciate you and A4 visiting."

A4 smiled kindly at him. "Well...it feels like we're all something _more_. You know? More than just soldiers. Like..."

A2 responded before 9S could. "Like we're fucking kids?"

9S nodded. "I think so, too. Like we're a family."

The two stared at him, though they looked thoughtful. They knew what a "family" was since they always sat across from him and 2B in the mess hall and heard him talking about it.

A2 shifted almost uncomfortably. _I'd rather stir something up than have to confront my feelings, but...I mean, why the fuck did they ever make me a Squadron Leader? I hate this place and have let them know quite a few times._

She never dared to go AWOL, but the thought had popped into her head more times than she cared to admit. The only reason she didn't desert was because she was certain A4 wouldn't go for it, and she wasn't leaving her friend behind.

But a family...

"A family sounds nice." A4 admitted softly. "Maybe that's the feeling I got. We're all friends, but it's even closer than that. A2, 2B, you, 6O, 21O, myself...and recently 32S...there's a difference. I've seen how the others behave, and it's nothing like how we do. There are...well, I wouldn't call them 'friends'...companions?...in the squadron, but they aren't as...I don't know how to describe it..."

"Friendly." A2 stated bluntly. "And most of them are assholes."

9S found that statement completely ironic, but decided not to call her pot to the kettle. Instead, he smiled. "I definitely feel the same. 32S, Twoobs...even 6O...we want a family. I'm trying to..."

He stopped himself from admitting about his hacking in a place where the medic could report him, so he just went with: "Or have tried to ask about our families, but was told never to ask again. And punished. So...until we find our families...we can be or own family."

Not like it was against the rules, after all; nothing said that they couldn't form a familial unit.

"Command won't like that..." A4 murmured hesitantly. "I don't disagree, but they'll disapprove of it. Maybe even create a new rule to prevent it since it would cause soldiers to acknowledge the feelings they keep suppressed."

"Fuck 'em." A2 huffed and crossed her arms. "We ain't robots, we're human. Every time they wanna beat us down and shut us up, I wanna scream even _louder_ at em."

9S took a chance. "So...so if we did stick together and try to become a, um...a family...you two...would you...?"

"Count me in." A2 stated with a grin. "If I actually hated you, I wouldn't hang around with you and 2B. And they can try whatever stupid shit they want, but A4 will be my best friend for eternity."

A4 smiled serenely. "And you mine, A2. Yes, 9S. I agree with your assessment as well. I enjoy the company of all of you. While I'm not as rebellious as A2 here..."

"Oy."

"...even if they make a rule against it, my feelings won't change." A4 concluded.

"Cause we ain't mindless robots." A2 muttered. "Feelings...they'd rather us not have 'em."

"It's good that we do." 9S said softly. "I...I don't mind being called 'too emotional' if it means I can show emotion. In fact, I'd rather be called that, or even a 'crybaby', than an 'emotionless doll' or a 'robot'."

"Hear, hear!" A2 whooped.

A4 opened her mouth to warn her friend, but it was too late.

The medic nearly ripped the hospital screen off the structure as he turned, red-faced, to the girl. "That does it! OUT! Get out of my infirmary!!"

A2 was about to make a rude gesture to him, but A4 grabbed her hands while 9S slapped a hand over his mouth to hide his laughter.

"Right, sorry about that..." A4 smiled disarmingly at the angry medic. "We'll be quieter next time...unless...when do you get out, 9S?"

"Tomorrow mid-morning. Probably after breakfast." 9S admitted wistfully. Wistfully, because it meant that he would miss the mess hall food and be forced to have the light and tasteless porridge in the medical bay.

Not that the mess hall was a five star, or even a three star, restaurant...but at least the food had a _flavor_ instead of the bland "nutrition filled" porridge-like stuff they served in the medical bay.

A4 giggled at his momentarily disgruntled expression. "Alright. We'll see you during free time then, perhaps. If not, then lunch. Sleep well, 9S."

9S let his hand drop from his mouth as he felt warmth spread through his chest at the well wishes. _And...and they visited. Even A2, who's tough to pin down even though she can be really blunt...she cares._ "Thanks. Really..."

A2 grinned at him. "Don't get all mushy on us......yea, yea, we're leaving you killjoy!!"

The last part was said to the medic, who looked about ready to try and toss them out the door, himself.

9S couldn't stop his chortle, and even A4 looked amused despite her exasperated sigh and scolding tone she took up.

"A2..."

"Pfft." A2 rolled her eyes, then finally let her friend pull her out. "Rest up, squirt!"

"I...I will! Thank you!" 9S replied, his heart full of warmth. And for some reason, he had a feeling he wouldn't be bothered by nightmares of battle tonight.

...the pain medication only partially coming into play with that, he figured.

The medic grunted, then left the area again.

9S picked up his book again, but didn't read it just yet. _I'm still a little tired from everything, but tomorrow, I need to go over what the two teens told us and where I should go from here. I do trust that they'll hold their word and help shut down the facility, but there's still a lot of information they left out...and some they implied. Tomorrow is gonna be busy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...cause I wanted to use the line "Oh, Nines". I regret nothing. >.>;;


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in...this one's gonna be a doozy.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Existentialism

* * *

9S didn't mind a break from combat simulations, obstacle courses, shooting ranges, and all the other training they were forced to go through. As the war had continued, there were less and less classes for "school" (which just consisted of updated geography related to the war efforts) and more combat training and espionage training.

Mostly, it was Squadron 9-14 doing the intense training since they had the highest number of people in their squad second only to the 4-8 "squad" which was more of an in-training group.

The 15-19 Squadron didn't have many people, which had been the reason why high-performance members of their squadron were sent out on the Kill/Capture mission the other day.

After what 9S had heard from the AWOL girls, he had a sinking feeling that it might be because none of them _lived_ long enough to "graduate" from the 15-19 Squadron.

The lieutenants who walked around were all well over the age of 25, and while there were a few guards who were rather young, the mortality rate of the 15-19 Squadron was apparently super high.

That was according to the numbers in front of him as he reviewed data on the computer in the library/reading area.

Everyone else was in physical training and he was out of the medical bay. He was supposed to be on "bed rest" for the rest of the day, which was the perfect excuse for him to sneak out to the reading area and use the computer there, meant to find books but still hooked up to the YoRHa network, to obtain information.

It gave him a cover story.

If he logged in with 21O and reported that he was spending his time in the computer lab, he would be the first one command would look at if he botched a hacking attempt.

But the reading area?

Nobody else was there, and with no escorts meant that there was nobody to monitor them since they were _supposed_ to not even be thinking independently.

Plus, nobody even thought that the library computer could even be used to hack into the network.

9S knew otherwise as he started from the boot screen.

If it was on the network and he could get to the source code, he could hack it.

So far, the lesser guarded layers had revealed some startling numbers of mortality rates.

It wasn't as if YoRHa tried to hide the reported deaths of the units, but there were far more than 9S had been expecting to see.

 _And yet, our Squadron never is behind in numbers_.

He recalled how the two traitors described YoRHa soldiers as "disposable".

Certainly, it felt like they were disposable...but there couldn't be _this_ many orphans sent to become child soldiers out there in order to keep the main squadron (Squadron 9-14) staffed with the proper number of units...

...could there?

It didn't add up.

There had been a lot of deaths over the past couple months, most of which from Squadron 15-19.

_No wonder why 64B and 8H wanted out. Their friends kept dying around them. They could have been next._

The majority of the deaths were of the few soldiers who were between the ages of 17 and 18, and though the squad went up to the age of 19, there wasn't a single 19-year-old in the entire group.

There never was.

That set 9S on edge as he sorted solemnly through the data. _They're older, smarter, faster, and stronger...they should have a better chance of surviving the battlefield than our squadron, yet theirs have the highest mortality rate._

Meanwhile, the in-training squadron of 4-8 had a mortality rate of 1%, typically due to an unexpected illness or "defect" at the age of 4. There were no deaths listed for ages 6-8, plenty of deaths for A and B units between the ages of 9-14, and even more deaths to A, B, D, and S units from the ages of 15-18. There were almost no documented deaths at the age of 19 because there had only been a couple cases where someone actually reached that age before dying on the battlefield.

9S startled as he realized that there was exactly _one_ case of the opposite happening...and that was Commander White, who was now 24 and had shown extreme prowess on the battlefield with scores higher than any of her squadron-mates.

That...sounded suspicious.

9S frowned at the screen. _I'm getting a really bad feeling from the conclusions I'm drawing, especially knowing that 22B was executed in a way to make it look like he was shot down by the enemy. His CoD is listed as "blood loss". Oh...so is this one. And this...and..._

His hand was trembling as he scrolled through the list of deceased soldiers and found that many of them had the exact same Cause of Death: Multiple bullet wounds leading to massive blood loss, especially within the 15-19 Squadron.

Most of the deaths for their squad varied and were much more specific with details of which vital organ was shot, or the occasional snipe. Many Scouts turned up dead behind enemy lines having been either run through with a close range sword from the robots in an ambush or sniped from an enemy patrol.

9S felt bile creep into his throat, and it took all of his willpower not to throw up in the nearby trashcan.

He had to lean back in the chair and focus on breathing normally, eyes squeezed shut as if to block out the horrible pattern of truth which was laid out in front of him.

Finally, 9S felt gathered enough to continue on. _So, confirmed that this facility has a dark side and if we stay here for too long, we'll probably be...well...killed. No...we'll definitely be killed._

If fighting in the war didn't kill them, then they would be executed. There was a slim chance of "graduating" and becoming a facility guard or lower ranked escort, but none of the cases before him lived long enough to do so.

9S took a deep breath, then let it out. _Okay...I need to continue to try and glean information. I want to know more about the "disposable soldiers" part and how they're able to constantly have someone to replace us with._

A schematic of the facility could be for another day. He didn't want to hack the network repeatedly or too often since that could alert them, but diving into their network once in a while was alright. For the other days, perhaps he would try to get even further in external sites and see just what "activists" 8H was talking about.

At the moment, it was time to try to get deeper. Even at this point, he had never gotten this far...but then again, he didn't have to look over his shoulder for someone trying to find him.

He wasn't skipping training or being where he wasn't supposed to this time.

9S didn't want to admit it to 2B, but part of the reason why he had chosen to injure himself was also to be able to have the freedom to try and hack the network.

The mushroom idea would have worked to get them out of the "we were still for too long" situation, but wouldn't have helped in the long term.

Plus, if they pumped his stomach and found out...he could only attempt a (rather feeble) lie that it was accidentally ingested.

No, this was preferable. A bit painful, but the poisonous mushroom idea was even worse.

9S focused on the screen as he went through the layers of codes and encryptions. He liked to pretend that he was some sort of little arrow-shaped spaceship in a hacking space.

Those firewalls over there? Black walls trying to prevent him from getting to the next layer, which had to be shot down by his string of codes...but carefully so as not to call reinforcements which would shoot back at him and lock him out.

The encryptions? Solid little stations which shot out energy bullets at him to try and prevent him from getting close. But if he fired his own missiles at them, then...BAM!

They'd be destroyed, and he could approach the other "ship", the information he wanted, with more ease.

Anti-hacking measures were small little ships which tried to shoot back at him and knock him out of the space, combined with the firewalls at their backs so that he had nowhere to run; he had to defeat them before he could get through the next set of firewalls.

In reality, it wasn't nearly as interesting...but that was how 9S liked to imagine it.

So after he took down the next set of enemy ships, he mowed down another couple of firewalls.

The network had a _lot_ of protections, and various "rooms" or "portions" to hack through.

Usually, he would get overwhelmed by the sheer number of "enemy forces" trying to blow him out of the hacking space. Other times, he wouldn't be able to shoot down a block of a firewall before his time ran out on the attempt and he had to start over.

This time, he was progressing well as his curiosity was fueled with a newfound determination.

He _had_ to know...not just for himself, but for the safety of his friends.

Of his _family_.

He had to know where he and the others came from; had to know why they were so easily replaced by another person when there was a death.

Another wave of enemy ships went down, and then the first section of a maze-like area of wall. If he went the wrong way, he could get stuck and either get caught and set off a base-wide alarm, or he would time-out and be kicked.

Neither were options he wanted, and his fingers flew across the keyboard as he imagined the maze; mapping out the slight bits he could see in front of him and predicting which way he had to go from the small amount of data he saw in the chain.

Some of the walls started to move; to try and herd him in a direction of a trap (which would set off an alarm) or to just quarantine his attempts and kick him out to start at square one.

_No!_

He had never gotten this far before. He was almost there, he could feel it!

His fingers ached slightly as sweat rolled down his face, but he barely even felt it as his imagined little ship shot down what seemed to be the final wall to an open space guarded by some more enemy units.

In his mind, he was dodging and blasting them out of existence; the encryptions which tried to impede him or lure him to an unbreakable wall which would end his attempt right then and there grew thicker...but he wasn't going to give up.

Then finally... _finally_...the enemy ships were downed and he imagined the round ball of information which came into view as being surrounded by a forcefield generated by two more cylinder-shaped space ships attempting a last-ditch effort to shoot him down and out.

But 9S had come _way_ too far to let that happen. With some ducking and weaving of code, he blasted them out of his way and the forcefield on the ball of information dropped, _finally_ allowing him access to top secret files.

9S nearly whooped in joy, but settled for grinning widely as he wiped sweat from his forehead. "Now then..."

_Let's see more about our personal files. Where did we come from? Who are our parents? Hrm...wait...what?_

There was a date of birth, but...

_No, this can't be right. How can we not have parents listed? Or even any sort of heritage or ancestors? No family tree..._

What in the world was this!?

_How is it possible to not even have a nationality!? Wait...there are some log files. Looks like some sort of digital diary. Maybe if I read those, this will make sense._

9S's triumphant smile slowly faded from his face as he scrolled through the logs, which read like some sort of mad science diary.

From a triumphant smile to confusion, then to disbelief...

Then, to horror as he realized just what they were saying.

He felt sick again as some feeling he couldn't describe welled up within him. It was like a mix of horror, that sinking feeling, the butterflies feeling, hysteria, and even a mix of panic as he swore he stopped breathing for a moment as the color drained from his face.

_This...this can't be true._

He continued to scroll through it despite his abject horror.

_This is...more than I thought. It just can't..._

But there was no denying the facts, which had been packed away behind encryptions, firewalls, and anti-hacking measures. Nestled into the network on seemingly un-hackable channels; channels even 8H/S hadn't been able to break through.

_...be true..._

* * *

A2 looked at A4, who shrugged. Then, the two looked at 2B, who appeared just as lost.

Then, they looked at 32S, who shrugged as well until he turned to look inquisitively at 6O and 21O who sat across from him.

They also had no idea why 9S was ignoring his lunch while his head was hidden in his arms.

He had been like that since they got to the mess hall for lunch, not having seen him for the entire morning due to training.

"He has to check in with you...didn't you hear anything?" 6O finally asked her friend.

"He only has to check in every four hours, now...he was fine when he checked in four hours ago..." 21O was just as puzzled by 9S's listlessness which just wasn't like him.

A2 moved as if to poke him with her spork. "Did they up the dose of his pain medicine or something? He's alive, right?"

2B's brow furrowed in concern. "He's breathing, so he's alive...Nines?"

A4 grabbed A2's wrist before she could actually poke the listless boy.

"Nines?" 2B tried again. "Are you feeling ill?"

9S didn't want to respond. If it had been up to him, he would have skipped lunch, but he had to pretend like he didn't just hack into the network and find out that horrible, life-changing truth.

He didn't want to eat...he didn't want to socialize. It didn't matter.

Nothing did.

How did he know this was the same 2B he was always friends with? The same A2, A4, 6O...21O had been oddly a little nicer lately, and even 32S had broken out of his shell somewhat recently.

That was strange behavior, for sure...

How did he even know _he_ was who he thought he was?

"Nines? Please talk to me. We're worried..."

"No need to be 'worried'." 9S chuckled without any humor. It wasn't like any of their emotions could be real, anyway. "We were all born to die, anyway."

2B blinked in surprise.

"What the fuck?" A2 exclaimed. "The hell are you on about? Seriously, do those meds cause hallucinations or something? I've never had that effect, but little 9S is a lightweight..."

32S shook his head, just as worried. "I...I've never had a problem..."

"It's not the meds. I just...realized something." 9S sighed.

"What in the world did you realize which is causing you to act like this?" 21O inquired.

Not the most tactful way of putting it, but the question was still there.

9S felt like laughing hysterically, but managed to hold back. "I could ask you the same thing! You've been acting weird lately. Not as...as cold. And 32S is actually _talking_. You were all out on missions at some point. And Twoobs is listening to me more...and A4 was caught up in peer pressure a couple weeks ago with the escort incident..."

A4 flinched at the reminder of how she had abandoned him out of annoyance for that week. "I...I already apologized, 9S. I'm sorry..."

"Don't you see?" 9S didn't want to look up. He didn't want to see the faces of possible imposters with altered memories. "You're all _different_. How do I know you're _real_? That you're really _you_? Or that I'm really _me_?"

A2 looked to A4 and wound her finger around her ear in a universal indication that she thought 9S was crazy.

2B felt hurt run through her. "Of course I'm me...and everyone else is who they are. What...?"

"What proof do you have of that? That you're the same 2B I met when we were four?"

2B sucked in a sharp breath as she actually felt tears prick her eyes. _Why...why is he acting like this? Why did he call me "2B" and not "Twoobs"? He hasn't called me that for five years...why does he think I'm fake?_

6O also looked close to tears. "I...don't understand. Everything about me is _me_. I'm 6O. I..."

"How do _you_ _know_ that?" 9S retorted tiredly.

32S's lip trembled. "Do you...not like us anymore, 9S?"

A pause, as 9S considered the question. _I like my original friends, even though we all have a shared cursed fate. Maybe? Saying that I can trust this "feeling". Maybe even the "friendship" is fake. Another way of **them** messing with us. And I can't be sure all of these people are..._

A2 scowled when she saw so many of them look close to tears. "If you weren't injured, I'd drag you out of here and beat the living shit out of you. What the _fuck_ is your problem?"

A4 hesitantly spoke up. "Please, 9S...we're only trying to understand and help you..."

9S giggled. "Help _me_...there's no helping _any_ of us. _If_ we're all who we think we are. I mean, how can we be sure we're all real? That you're who you say you are...or that I'm who I think I am? Or that any of these 'feelings' even belong to us?"

21O grimaced. "I don't understand...I don't know what makes us who we are. Only...well..."

"Our feelings _do_ belong to us." 6O stated firmly.

21O nodded, as she had been unable to voice the conclusion they came to when they talked to each other yesterday.

"Damn straight!" A2 snarled. "Now stop acting like a fucking loon and go back to being a chatterbox."

9S shook his head. "Feelings...again, how do we know they're genuine? That they're even real?"

Silence.

32S had his head bowed to hide his tears. "We...we're friends..."

"Are we? What exactly is a 'friend', anyway?"

Sharp intakes of breaths happened around him.

32S buried his face in his hands as his shoulders trembled from quiet sobs.

6O looked like she had been sucker-punched before she bit her lip and gripped her shirt tightly, while 21O stared at the boy with wide eyes filled with shock and disbelief that she was hearing this from someone like _him_.

A4 swallowed heavily as she took in A2's building rage and hurt as well as the obvious hurt on 2B's face. Then, she steeled her voice. "9S, look around you. _Look at us_ , dammit!"

She wasn't one to usually curse, but she was the only one who still had her wits about her, and she wasn't about to let this continue.

9S was so startled by the tone he had only heard her use on the battlefield that he jerked upwards in surprise. Instead of being intimidated by her glare, he merely sighed and slumped a little more. "Even you're being different..."

It hurt, A4 definitely felt that; like a pang in her chest. But she pushed it down and steadied her breath so it wouldn't waver. "If you're hurting because of something we've done to you, then this is not the way to tell us. If we hurt you, that's no reason to hurt _us_. Look around you, not just at me."

9S shook his head. "I'm not hurt..."

Maybe he was, just a little. More of just completely numb from the information he had found. He didn't know who or what to believe...he didn't even know why he was even _there_ , or why any of them were.

He didn't know why he was always so concerned for them, or if his feelings were even real.

They were all monsters, even him.

Could they even be called "human"?

They were all just toy soldiers in a world which held no meaning for them. _This messed up, corrupted world which holds nothing for us.._

"Then _why_!?" The demand came not from A4, not from A2, not from 6O...

...but from 2B.

She couldn't keep the slight waver out of her tone; how she nearly got choked up trying to ask. She couldn't stop the tears which threatened to spill down her cheeks in an unusual testament to how deeply his words had cut her; how hard it hit her when he hesitated over the question of them being friends.

Just the other day, he had injured himself to save them.

Just the other day, he was smiling and laughing with them; he knew her touch even with his eyes closed.

What had happened?

2B looked mournfully at him. " _Why_ , Nines?! Why are you...? You're always the one who's so kind! Cheerful...always trying to make the best of things...always telling _me_ to try and make the best of things..."

21O nodded, as she was also told this multiple times by the young Scout, but couldn't bring herself to interrupt. _And it hurts. I...enjoy our conversations. More of his one-sided conversations. This...hurts._

"...you've never been afraid to show your emotions. Even when I couldn't, you...you broke me out of a lonely shell. You...you made life bearable here. You still showed emotion...you were the most _human_..."

9S laughed suddenly. "Human? I'm not human. None of us are human! Not me, and not even you! We're _monsters_ who should never have come into this world! And for what? Just to _die_! Our existence is _meaningless_! There is _nothing_ here for us!"

2B stared at him, mouth agape as she felt worse than she ever had even on the battlefield. Her chest hurt worse than the occasional times she was nicked by a bullet or pushed to exhaustion in training. _Nothing...not even me? Does he hate me because I've killed, then? Is this how he's really felt, and after meeting 64B and 8H, he stopped pretending?_

It felt like her lungs were compressed, and like someone had reached in and gripped her heart...or maybe like someone had shot or stabbed her there. 2B even rested her hand over her chest mostly to see if it felt moist with blood.

But there was no blood.

Yet, the pain persisted at the thought that 9S, her best and most loyal friend in this horrible place...her _light_...no longer cared about her.

That he no longer liked her.

2B didn't notice the tears which rolled down her cheeks in rivulets; didn't really notice how her vision of 9S blurred.

She wasn't angry, but instead, felt...lost.

Between the pain, she felt slightly empty; like a part of her had just died. The world seemed to be gray in between black and white, just like much of the decor in the facility.

The sun was gone, leaving behind dreariness and agony.

2B's shoulders hitched with a small sob.

_It hurts..._

_That_ got 9S's attention, and his mind momentarily stopped processing at seeing 2B, who was always so _strong_ , so _fierce_ , yet so _kind_ and empathetic...

Who was now... _freely crying_.

Not once in their entire friendship, or whatever these so-called "feelings" were, had he ever seen her cry. She had come close a couple of times, but...

Besides the tears, there was a look of misery in her eyes, and complete agony on her face; as if he had just run her through with his knife.

"Nines...I...I don't know why you hate us suddenly...I don't know what I did wrong. I've always just...wanted to be with you. Life without you wouldn't be worth living. So even..." 2B struggled for her words against tears. "...even if you h-hate us...hate _me_. And even if you think that...that we shouldn't have been born...that we shouldn't exist..."

_...make the pain stop..._

"...my feelings will never change. I'll _always_ care about you. And everyone else. And you'll always be special to me. I'd...still, even now..."

_...even though it feels like my heart is being torn in two and the world ended..._

"...I'd protect you with my life. Because...you're _Nines_. And even if...we're nothing more than toys to the adults...to _us_ , we're _alive_. Right now. In this moment. So even though..."

_...even though I feel like I should end my life at the thought of you hating me, or that maybe this is my fault for not trusting you straight away when we first faced down the AWOL soldiers..._

"...even though you think our existence is meaningless...I don't want you to die. And I'd do anything to protect you. Because I..."

_...I failed to protect your smile..._

"...I failed in protecting you. But even if you hate me now...if you think we should all just disappear......Nines...I know my feelings aren't a lie. These feelings that I care so much about you. That I...because we're family...the only family we know...I...love you."

The last two words were said so quietly, especially in the din of the mess hall, that only 9S who was right next to her and A2 who was straight across from her heard them.

2B couldn't take his wide-eyed look anymore, and honestly didn't know what to do with all the pain she felt inside and the feelings she had just admitted, so she left what remained of her lunch and ran out of the mess hall, leaving heavy silence from their part of the table in her wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note that 2B's "I love you" was purely platonic, not romantic (they're only 10, for freak's sake).
> 
> Cliffhanger! Sorry, not sorry, for the existential angst. >.>  
> Also wanted to include a little of the hacking mini-game, hence the "ship" thing 9S pictures as a way to describe the process. I apologize for any inaccuracies in the hacking process; I'm not a hacker and only have a basic (ha, see what I did there?) knowledge of coding.
> 
> That aside, I hope everyone had an awesome holiday (whatever you celebrate...or even if you don't celebrate anything)!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie, so quick change to the uploading; I'm going to switch to uploading chapters once a week (on Mondays) instead of twice a week. There is a reason for this, as a future chapter will do better with a longer period of time between uploads (and I don't have to feel rushed to proofread and get two chapters up per week in between my typical schedule).
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Description of a panic attack (hyperventilation as well), and minor mention of gore.

* * *

At first, nobody moved. 32S was rubbing his reddened eyes, but from what he had come to learn about 2B, was too surprised to do or say anything.

6O, who always seemed to be chatty and know what to say, was speechless since she had _never_ seen 2B cry before. Part of her was still hurt from 9S's words, part of her was confused and shocked, and the other part of her had a growing anger towards the boy for causing the strongest person she knew (next to A2) to break down in _tears_.

A4 was just as stunned, and 21O didn't know how to react.

It was one thing whenever 9S cried on occasion, being one of the more "emotional" of their group (A2's words, not his)......but one of their strongest...

Nobody even realized that A2 had stood up until she physically yanked 9S out of his seat by the back of his shirt.

"Ow!" 9S yelped as he was forced to stumble on his bad leg. Before he could protest or even try to make sense of what he had just seen, such a _human_ display of behavior considering what they were, he was staring up into A2's smoldering (yet oddly wet) eyes.

"You...fucking son of a shitrag!" A2 snarled, then started to literally drag him out of the room.

9S was forced to stumble along, crutches left behind with the stunned rest of the table.

Even A4 couldn't react in time; she hadn't even stood up to try and curb A2's behavior like she normally did.

9S didn't know what to think as thoughts sped through his mind at dizzying speeds...or maybe that was from the pain of being forced to hobble on his injured leg. "That hurts! A2! Wait...!"

"You didn't 'wait' or care about whether or not you hurt your _best fucking friend_ in the world!" A2 snarled at him, her expression scary enough to deter anyone who looked up to see what the commotion was.

As if she was a wild animal, nobody dared ask what was going on, or why she was dragging someone injured across the mess hall.

Nobody made to stop them, either; the ones left at the table were still picking up the pieces of their emotions and trying to process what had just happened (and if they actually just saw 2B break down in tears).

A2 continued to drag him until they got out of the mess hall.

When the doors closed behind them, she moved to the side and slammed him up against the wall in the empty hallway.

9S yelped in pain, but didn't dare say anything as he saw the feral look in her eyes...and the tear which rolled down her cheek.

_First 2B, now A2...the strongest people..._

A2 gripped the collar of his gray jumper tightly with both hands as said hands trembled in her attempts to not haul off and deck him. She gritted her teeth and wound up growling as she attempted to keep control of what little semblance of self-control she had left in her after all of that.

Of course, she had been hurt by his words as well. He was always cheerful and talking about something she could care less about, but he and 2B had been tied at the hip since she could remember.

She also remember how _lonely_ 2B had been when she was first put into their squad since she was only eight at the time and 9S was still in the youngest squadron.

A2 didn't even know properly what to _say_ to him. She was often blunt, but when it came to emotions...she wasn't good at expressing herself properly unless she could be crass or physical in nature with them.

The emotions 9S's little stunt had made her feel...seeing 2B run off like that...

She couldn't even find words for it.

"You..." A2 hissed through clenched teeth. "...are the absolute _worst_ piece of shit on this fucking planet!"

9S swallowed hard as he tried to push past his usual fear. What did it matter what she did to him? With what he knew of what they could do, it didn't matter. "You don't understand...what I found out...this world would never accept us! Nobody would...!"

"Then fucking tell us!!" A2 screamed at him. "Instead of being a jackass and making _your best friend in the entire damn fucking shithole of a world cry for probably the very first time in her life_ , do what you always fucking do and _talk to us_!!"

9S grimaced as he was pulled back, then slammed against the wall again. For a moment, he saw spots in his vision as pain blossomed at the back of his skull from hitting the wall.

He felt too numb to feel guilty...right? That strange feeling in his stomach was just that strange void he had felt since reading the logs...wasn't it?

"Nothing... _nothing_...can excuse what you just did! Did you...did you ever think to yourself...'hey, what if there's a deployment order and 2B dies, and the last thing I did was make her fucking cry and think she _shouldn't exist_ '?!" A2 had lost more than her fair share of friends in the war.

They would always bring in more to replace the ones lost, but that never fully replaced the gaping hole in her heart whenever the death count would come in.

Attackers had the highest fatality rate of all of the designations, after all. An Attacker making it past the age of 16 was unheard of, even.

"You don't understand!" 9S's voice cracked. "We're _replaceable_! We're all _disposable_! There's no _meaning_ to our lives! And...and we might not even be our real...!"

" _Might_ not? I don't fucking understand what you mean by that first bit, but you made all your friends, and especially 2B, _cry_ , because of a goddamned _maybe_?!" A2 seethed as another tear rolled down her cheek. "You fucking asswipe!"

9S's anger and sorrow wasn't enough to allow him to answer back in the face of a wild and _crying_ A2.

"I don't give a flying fuck about anything you're thinking! I don't give a fuck about who I might have been or where I came from, like some of you lot do. What I do know is that I'm _standing here now_ and I'm fucking _pissed as hell_ at you! That's all I need to know!"

9S felt like he had been struck. _Standing here, now, and feeling..._

"I've watched my comrades and people I considered 'friends' fucking _die_ in this stupid war! I've watched them go down, bullets through their heads and chest, or screaming on the ground in pain from having their fucking legs blown off due to a landmine!!"

9S paled.

A2 didn't notice the pallor drop, and just tightened her grip in anger. "Yet you...you just spat on their graves! On their sacrifice! I don't give a fuck about this war...I want to see everyone stop dying! We're 'meaningless'? We're 'monsters'? Well, fuck yea we're monsters! We have to keep fucking fighting even when a goddamned landmine goes off next to us and blows someone's leg off in a bloody mess of tissue and bone!!

"Of course we're monsters! But we _don't_ _want to be_ monsters! Even 2B has had to keep going when someone goes down in a pile of their own blood right next to her! But you're a _Scout_...how can you possibly understand the feeling of seeing a good friend of yours _fucking get blown apart right next to you!?_ "

9S's mind spun. _But we're all monsters...we don't even have names because we're not considered "human". We shouldn't have even been born...but...my anger when I first found out...and her anger now..._

And even if they shouldn't have been born, even if they existed only to fight in a war which had nothing to do with them, trapped in a cycle of life and death someone decided for them...

_...the "me standing here right now"..._

Had he been wrong?

_...feelings we experience...though everyone else experiences feelings as well, we all react differently...but..._

He had given up when he read the files; learned the truth.

Nothing was worth protecting.

Nothing was worth living for.

Except...

_Twoobs._

He couldn't shake his feelings for her as they pierced through the void, aided with his back meeting the wall once again from A2's rage.

_Are these feelings real, then?_

A2's words hit him like a sledgehammer, breaking through the void he had felt upon learning the truth.

_I..._

"...even listening!?" A2 snarled.

9S blinked tears. His leg throbbed, and his head pounded...his ears were ringing slightly as his hands started to tremble. _Was I wrong? Are these feelings...real?_

"You'd damn well better explain this _in full_ to us during our free time next, or I _will_ make sure that you drink through a straw for whatever remains of your miserable life before 2B actually goes and sacrifices herself so that your sorry, _undeserving_ ass can keep living, you fucking cuck!" A2 shoved him once more into the wall, then finally took a step back and let out another loud curse before she pulled her fist back...

9S squeezed his eyes shut, heard the whistle of displaced air...

...then a loud THUNK right next to his ear.

So close that he could actually feel the heat by his left ear...

_The transmitter...by the ear with the transmitter in it. If the experiment worked, they wouldn't put a transmitter on us. They wouldn't..._

Was he...wrong?

9S felt his legs tremble, then finally collapse.

A2 stood above him, fist in the wall right next to where his head had been as she panted from rage and pain. "FUCK!"

9S slid down the wall onto his backside as his brain seemed to jump-start itself.

Especially as a drop of salty water splashed to the ground in front of him.

Then another.

9S would never forget the visage of 2B's tear-streaked face out of his mind, and as he looked up to see A2 with her head bowed as her own tears hit the ground...

_I was wrong..._

He suddenly couldn't breathe for a moment.

_I can still **feel**...we all can...and feelings are...emotions are..._

It was too hot.

_The "us" in this moment...everyone are still...we're changing, but we're learning. It's not because we were somehow "programmed" that way..._

His legs and hands trembled as he curled into a fetal position, eyes dilated.

_And my careless words...in my own sense of self-pity...feeling sorry for myself and doubting everyone around me... **feeling**! We were...feeling..._

His heart pounded in his chest.

_And then giving up on the world...did this. I did this..._

Oxygen was hard to come by.

_...I made Twoobs cry. She's really Twoobs. Why did...why did I even think otherwise? What was I even thinking? I...I hurt her. The person I wanted to protect...the person most dear to me..._

She loved him.

He gripped his hair tightly and would have screamed if he felt like he had the breath to do so with.

_I...nothing can make up for what I've done. I hurt Twoobs. I made everyone else upset. I...I made A2 remember the ones who died. So what if we're all essentially the same in where we came from? They were still her friends...with their own sense of self and feelings and **emotions**..._

And these people are, or were, his friends.

A friendship he might have just ruined with his thoughtless actions because he had been so horrified by what he had read that he didn't believe he (or any of them) should even exist.

What right did he have to deny their existence?

After all he had seen, weren't there other things which proved that, even if the adults were all ruthless and corrupted warmongers, there were things they found to give them a reason to live? That their feelings were _genuine_?

He remembered how 8H had kissed 64B...so gently and tenderly...

He remembered how 2B would run her hand through his hair or take his hand to calm him down when he would panic.

How A2 would flick his forehead with a playful smirk on her face to the exasperation of A4...

How 6O would giggle and often have a running conversation with him while trying to include 2B but the two of them would talk a mile a minute to the point where she stopped even trying to get a word in and would just...smile as she listened.

How 21O had been a little warmer in the last few times he had to check in with her, and didn't cut him off or suddenly end the transmission anymore...

How 32S would come to him often when 2B had been deployed and they would talk about family and dream about it...

How they had decided to create their own family since they didn't know theirs.

Well, they never had one to begin with, but that didn't mean he had to go and ruin the one they were creating.

_Reasons to live..._

Spots danced in front of his eyes as he wheezed.

_I...can't breathe...if we're all monsters, then I'm the worst of them all..._

9S thought he heard voices, but everything sounded underwater.

He thought maybe he saw movement, but there were so many spots in his whitened vision that he couldn't be sure.

A pressure on his shoulder...

Was someone saying something?

Were they trying to...help him? After what he just did?

_I'm scum._

Another squeeze on his shoulder made some of the sounds come through the constant gasping noise and lightheadedness. Then, something pinched the side of his nose and he nearly choked.

"--eathe! Then out through your mouth! Like a straw!"

9S blinked through tears as he shakily obeyed as the fingers were removed from pinching his nose to get his attention. His vision cleared as he followed the instructions to breathe deeply.

He felt antsy and anxious...where was 2B to take his hand and tap out her heartbeat on the back...?

_Oh. Right. I hurt her and chased her off. She'll never be there for me again, and it's my own fault. We can feel hurt and pain because...it's... **real**._

"In...slowly! Out...no, slowly!"

9S sobbed.

_I want Twoobs. But she...she's not here. Because of me._

"...'orry..." the words spilled from his mouth between desperate breaths. Oxygen was available again, but his chest still felt constricted, and the room slightly too warm. His legs felt like jelly, and he was sure he would collapse if he stood up as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Shut up. Just listen to 6O."

"Breathe in slowly, 9S. Then out slowly."

6O...right. She was the one talking. And that other voice had been 21O...why did she sound concerned?

9S managed to open his eyes again, and saw that 6O was kneeling in front of him with one hand on his shoulder. She looked harried and still a little upset, but there was worry in her eyes as well.

21O stood behind her almost uncomfortably and avoided everyone's gaze while A4 was talking to A2 in hushed tones with an arm around the girl's shoulders.

2B and 32S weren't there.

9S felt a sob tear out of his throat again. Even though the others were still there, he felt alone. It was even worse than when he was glared at and-or ignored when he caused the squadron to need escorts for a week.

It was like part of him was missing...

_Twoobs._

Guilt roiled in his stomach, and he pulled back from 6O as he curled up even tighter into a ball, afraid that he might be sick.

"Easy...just breathe nice and slow." 6O murmured as she rubbed his back since he was hunched forward while he coughed and sputtered.

They had finally kicked themselves into gear to follow A2 out of the room, just to come to the scene of A2 quietly crying with her fist bloodied against the wall and 9S hyperventilating on the ground. 32S had watched them mournfully, then also ran off somewhere.

6O sighed at the mess that they were. She had set 9S's crutches nearby, and though she felt a little better at hearing his voice crack on his apology, she still felt a little raw around the edges.

"Why...? I was...awful..." 9S gasped out when he was sure he wasn't going to throw up as he continued to tremble out of guilt and shame which tore at him.

She was almost afraid to say it, but...she forced her fear back. "We're a family. We have to stick together."

6O was afraid that he would deny it again even though his apology had sounded honest...but instead, he only sobbed again.

"I...I'm s-sorry..." 9S moaned. He felt cold, and hugged himself despite 6O's hand still on his back. "I...it's not an excuse...but I'm sorry..."

A "sorry" wouldn't bring 2B back to them.

It wouldn't make up for what he said.

Even though he had been in a bad place when he said it all...

"I hurt you all...I'm sorry..." 9S could only whimper out apologies even though he didn't feel he deserved forgiveness. Not only for what he did to 2B, but to the others...

He had made A2 relive her gory battles...and probably A4 as well.

He had undone any possible progress he had made with 21O and getting her to open up.

He had driven 32S, whom he saw as a little brother, to tears of betrayal.

And obviously, he had hurt 6O by denying that they all had feelings.

9S wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Maybe it would have been better if only _he_ never existed.

He must have said something of that aloud, because he felt himself jerked up by the shirt yet again...then a sharp pain on his cheek.

"21O!!" 6O gasped in surprise. Hearing him say that he should be dead was scary, though not as scary as how he had behaved in the mess hall...but she was honestly surprised at 21O's actions when he friend moved her aside and lifted 9S's chin just to slap him.

"Don't!" 21O started, then took a deep breath and let it out when her eyes met with his confused, wet ones. Softer, she repeated herself. "Don't. Don't say that...or things like that. We've all been struggling to survive both on and off the battlefield. I...I want to believe that there's a reason to live beyond what we know. Even if that reason is each other, it's still a reason. These are _my feelings_."

9S whimpered as tears streamed down his cheeks. "...I'm sorry..."

A4 finally came over after sending A2 off to the medical bay to have her hand wrapped up. "Lunch will be ending soon. Let's gather ourselves, okay? A2 is going to meet us in the garden. I'll go look for 2B. 6O, can you look for 32S?"

6O nodded and stood up. She wanted to playfully salute, but was just too tired to so although she did muster a tiny smile. "Okay."

A4 turned to 9S and 21O as 6O rushed away. "We'll meet you two in the garden. Let's get this resolved before it festers."

21O agreed. "Good plan." She was a little nervous at being the one left with 9S...why didn't 6O have this task? Even A4 was more "friendly" than she was!

A4 smiled at her as if she understood the concern. "You're doing fine, 21O. Little brothers can just sometimes be selfish little shits at times, I suppose."

9S wiped his eyes tiredly, unsure how to even react to what sounded like playful banter.

21O's lips curled into a small smile. "Indeed. Alright. We'll be there."

A4 smiled at them again, then headed off in what she hoped was the right direction to find 2B.

21O turned to 9S. "Can...can you stand?"

9S wasn't sure, and his mind still felt muddled while his head pounded and his stomach (and foot) hurt, but he gave a tired nod anyway.

21O obviously didn't believe him, because she wrapped her arm around his back despite the height discrepancy, then slowly stood him up as she supported him with her other hand to his chest. She could feel him trembling in her light grasp, and suddenly understood a little better what A4 meant.

 _A little brother. He made a huge mistake, and said some hurtful and confusing things, but really...is it too much worse than how I've been treating him and everyone else for years?_ With the exception of 6O, she never showed her warmer side to anyone.

9S's legs nearly buckled, but 21O caught him.

"There we go. Easy, now..." 21O mumbled to him, then made sure he was steady against the wall before she retrieved the crutches he was given...then hesitated. She was stronger than most people thought, and he looked ready to collapse as he trembled against the wall while his face was a white as a sheet...

So, 21O rested the crutches against the wall, then knelt down with her back to him. They could always just pick him up another set of crutches, or she could maybe manage to hold one in each fist if she supported his legs more with her forearms...yep, that's what she would do.

"Get on." 21O wasn't strong enough to actually carry him in her arms like 2B or A2 might have been able to do, but she could do this. "It's either this or the standard fireman's carry. This way will probably be less painful."

Not that a fireman's carry was normally painful, but considering his pallor and injury...this way would be steadier.

"I...don't deserve..."

"I don't care what you think you deserve." 21O interrupted. "Now get on before the lunch crowd starts to trickle out."

9S hesitated, but exhaustion caught up to him and he practically collapsed against her back, then gripped the material by her shoulders. "...sorry..."

21O supported him under his thighs, and managed to grab onto the crutches like she planned. "You're a lightweight."

9S couldn't help but feel...relaxed. Not completely, because his own horrid behavior repeated itself to him in his mind, along with the tear-streaked face of 2B, but he was just so cold and _tired_...and 21O was so _warm_...

_Safe._

He sniffled as hatred at himself came back full force.

These people, his only family, were helping him even though he had been horrible to them.

_I can't stand myself. I really am sorry...I don't deserve forgiveness...but even so...in this meaningless spiral of life and death, I still want it. If this is as real as it seems to be, then I want it. That's totally wrong of me, isn't it? But I..._

21O felt his grip tighten slightly on her shoulders, but it was still too weakened to hurt her. "I...I wasn't unaffected by what you said in there. But...I don't hate you. I want to hear your reasoning before I decide how soon to forgive you, but I still think of us as...well...a family. So...yea."

9S shuddered and mumbled another apology. _Even when I tell them...it still won't justify how I reacted. I was stupid. And mean. And...and a true monster..._

But she was giving him another chance.

They weren't abandoning him.

 _A family...they stick together. We really are..._ His grip tightened as fear shot through him. He knew that they were just as close, maybe closer, after this...but now he was afraid that he would lose it. _Maybe...there is meaning?_

9S felt he completely deserved to lose it, but at the same time, he didn't want to lose them or this warmth. _I'm scared...I don't...I don't want to be alone...I deserve it, to be abandoned, but I want...I want to be part of this family._

Now that he had a taste of it...he didn't want to lose it.

"Everything will work out." 21O spoke again as they neared the garden when she felt him tremble against her. "None of us hate you. A lot of feelings were hurt, but...well, that's...what a family does sometimes? I think. 6O says that families argue sometimes."

She wasn't sure if she was getting through to him or even cheering him up...until she heard the soft response.

"I'm sorry...thank you...I'm sorry..."

Right there and then, even though he had been a brat before and she had no idea what caused it or brought it on, 21O knew that she forgave 9S.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9S always seemed to be hit the hardest by all of the existentialism in the game (to be fair, he was quite literally losing his mind when he really got into the nitty-gritty of it all), and I wanted to try and capture some of that. 
> 
> I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year! See you in 2020!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, the data 9S found. I had contemplated putting this chapter between chapters 8 and 9, but it's not really my style to interrupt a scene like that.  
> The parts which say "redacted" are parts which contain scientific jargon (and either doesn't quite exist practically or just would take away from the focus).
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Mad science, existentialism.

* * *

**[Log 001]**

It has been two years since the dictatorship-favoring nations formed a united Empire. Nations wishing for the freedom of their citizens as well as free speech and human rights joined forces to combat them and their views.

We know war is on the horizon. From what was happening near the end of World War III, our intel says that Robots were attempted to be used, as they were being deployed by the enemy, but as we did not want to run the risk of robots with AIs, they could only really be used as self-firing tanks and meatshields for the troops.

So, a couple scientists and I started working in this place to come up with a solution in this bunker we are using, an old abandoned military base we are using as a lab in the basement and the ground floor as a general area for us to sleep and eat. The third floor is still unused.

I have decided to start documenting our scientific journey to make some sort of breakthrough which will turn the tide of the upcoming war in the favor of the Allied Forces.

-Z

* * *

**[Log 003]**

The Empire has started to build more controlled robots. While we're also creating robots, humans are still needed to operate them since neither side wants to risk this war turning into a sci-fi novel.

Robots with a fail-safe installed in them could take care of that problem.

* * *

**[Log 011]**

We have been attempting to stay within moral boundaries, but none of us are bound by religion. This is war, and every second we waste trying to come up with AI-less robots or functional androids are seconds we cannot waste. Each day which goes by is a day closer to the inevitable war.

* * *

**[Log 035]**

There was much more trial and error, but this time we were starting to make headway. With each failure, the war rages on outside of the bunker.

* * *

**[Log 046]**

Quick android reproduction lines are a failure. Other android production would take far too long, and though we were given a grant of money so it's not an issue, our team isn't large enough for a full-scale production of android soldiers. We need something more practical...something easy. Something we can still mold into perfect soldiers, and something easily replaceable.

* * *

**[Log 072]**

Machines are not the way to go. I argue with my two companions many times. Occasionally someone from the military drops in to check our progress...we're running out of time if we want to make a difference in the war. Intel reports that the Empire is starting to build an army using bio-implants in their "human" soldiers, if they can even be called "human" anymore, to boost combat abilities.

They cannot be allowed to win. We cannot let them win, no matter what the cost. Their human experimentation aside, everything they stand for is wrong.

We cannot go back the ways of kings and dictators, leaders screaming "fake news", spreading hatred and encouraging bigotry, and trying to limit what people can know and censor everything else.

No matter what it takes on our side, we can't let them do that.

Maybe we can clone soldiers.

* * *

**[Log 079]**

We have abandoned any moral route. Cloning was still a failure, so borrowing from the idea of Star Wars as my two companions attempted did not end well.

We don't want to completely abandon that vein, so perhaps we can come back to it.

Artificial lifeform creation, however...that's something to look into.

* * *

**[Log 091]**

We are now attempting to incubate a fetus. We tried using sperm and egg donations at first, but any genetic issues the parents, grandparents, ect might have, as well as health problems, could bite us in the ass down the line.

We had to start clean.

If we're successful, then we'll take steps to properly create a fetus artificially. To do this, we'll need to...[REDACTED]

* * *

**[Log 122]**

After a long string of failures, we have successfully incubated a fetus. It managed to survive an entire month outside the test tube it was created in...perhaps we need to accelerate growth before we let these out. An infant has a terrible immune system, and our creations aren't getting the protection of a womb. Perhaps there is a way to age them...

* * *

**[Log 157]**

Success! We have managed to age up a fetus with accelerated time without having to wait actual years...years we don't have. We seem unable to go past the age of 52 months before they start breaking down at around 54 months. We have not found a way to stabilize them just yet, so we're just going to create a 48 month old in one of the tubes.

* * *

**[Log 159]**

Our first artificial 4-year old has arrived. We have code-named him "Adam". I expressed concern at the human-sounding name for a created "human", but the others assured me that it's a code name related to the story of "Adam and Eve".

I still think we should have just called it Number 1.

* * *

**[Log 214]**

Adam is still alive. We did decide to call him "1", as it's not right to give these things a name. They aren't like humans, after all. This one is a prototype...so, 1P. I will be writing about it as 1P from now on.

* * *

**[Log 224]**

1P still lives after a year (see link in Log 219 for information on his growth), so we have decided to create another one. "Eve", or "2P", will be its designation. We do not have too much time to wait...it's already been a year and a half since we've started. The Empire is building their forces, and the Allied military is running drills.

* * *

**[Log 267]**

1P and 2P get along well, though one of my colleagues worry that they're a little too close. Therefore, we have asked for military help to start training them as they are both five years old, with 1P nearly being six.

Another of my colleagues suggested that the earlier we train them for war, the sooner we can also teach them to suppress their emotions enough to be used like toy soldiers. I feel this might be a more dangerous idea than the androids, but any sentient fighting force is going to have the possibility of rising up against their creators.

At least with this route, our soldiers can't be taken out by EMP blasts.

* * *

**[Log 386]**

At first, it was my first colleague feared. 1P and 2P were so close to one another that though we tried to squash down their emotions and drill things like fear out of them and discourage curiosity. Turn them into perfect soldiers.

This...did not work out very well. 1P was killed in a recon mission into enemy territory, logged age of nine. 2P went berserk and kamikazed the forces which had shown up.

The enemy hadn't even known they were children since it was dark out. Once they did know, they were horrified. This idea of children soldiers still has merit.

Letting them get close to one another is something I argued for. 1P and 2P functioned at higher capacity when paired with each other, and attempts to drown out their relationship met with lowered morale.

We've agreed to let them hold onto some emotions while at the bunker so long as they are able to think rationally while deployed.

We are going to present our findings to the rest of the military.

* * *

**[Log 387]**

Many found our research to be unethical and wrong, but the war is looming even closer and they know it.

Rather than sending out unpredictable robots which need maintenance and are countered by little things like EMPs, soldiers in the form of children will not only give the enemy pause in the daytime but also are disposable. We can always create more, and if we constantly create batches then there will always be a bunch ready to replace any which are lost in battle.

It's also better than sending our men and women to the front lines. They have families and friends who can lose them. Our created soldiers don't.

They will literally be created to die as sacrificial lambs.

One of my colleagues even argued that any emotion they feel is probably false, or just impulses of their created brain trying to mimic a human.

These are not humans since they were not born naturally.

There was a long debate, a lot of arguing, and the warning of activists.

But in the end, the project was given the green-light.

When asked what we would call it, we decided to combine the initials of our last names.

YRH sounded stupid, so we played with the first couple letters of our last names.

Yo.R.Ha.

Project YoRHa.

* * *

**[Log 409]**

We re-created 1P and 2P. They are slightly different from the ones we created before, but function the same. In addition, we are already working on creating more of these test tube soldiers.

We still don't dare risk increasing their age past four, nearly five, but that gives the trainers and military personnel assigned to the bunker time to train them.

They are in another section of the basement for better ability to monitor them.

They have no idea what is in this room, or the truth. If they knew, it would be a disaster, so we made sure to install state-of-the-art security.

The military agreed to help with that as well, and to refurbish the rest of the building for the "children of YoRHa".

* * *

**[Log 456]**

The bunker has been restored, and we've renamed it "The Facility".

The basement contains our lab and the youngest age groups.

The first floor is where 1P and 2P currently reside with a couple other early prototypes and military personnel keeping a close eye on them.

Training facilities are there as well. It seems like the numbers are going to be increasing.

* * *

**[Log 703]**

War has broken out fully, now. 1P and its "squadron" of prototypes are 13 and have been deployed a couple of times. As predicted, the enemy hesitated upon seeing children on the battlefield.

The younger, the better. The older ones were shot at more than the younger.

Children too young won't be able to hold their weapons, so we need to come up with age groups. Eight or nine can be the first minimum age for the squadron as it gives time to develop enough muscle, balance, hand-eye coordination, and training so that they can survive the battlefield.

* * *

**[Log 731]**

Success after success. We now have two "squadrons" formed.

The first encompasses the ages of four, five, six, seven, and eight...we've called this Pre-Squad 4-8. While not an actual combat squadron, they're an in-training squadron. The eight year olds are sometimes allowed into the next group if they show promise.

Squadron 9-14 includes ages nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, and fourteen.

1P and 2P are still alive and are approaching the age of 14. We don't want the soldiers to be getting too old, because then the enemy will be more willing to shoot at them.

We are undecided on what to do about that. We can keep creating more test-tube soldiers since our lab has expanded quite a bit, so replacing the ones which are shot down is no issue.

The issue is a cut-off age. We also don't want the soldiers to notice or figure out the secret of the Facility or their own fates, lest they desert or lose moral.

* * *

**[Log 802]**

1P was killed in battle. 2P led a charge which got a good portion of the squad killed.

My colleagues and the military were discussing it...I was there as well. I don't like the idea of stabbing anyone in the back, but then I have to remind myself that these children aren't actual "children". They're created from test tubes to be sent to war in place of people who actually matter.

Reluctantly, I agreed that if they managed to get into the "final" squadron, which we gave a name of 15-19 to make them think that there's no age limit and that when they hit 20, they can join the Facility as guards, unless they show exemplary ability...then they will be hit with "friendly fire".

Executed.

Even knowing they are test tube children, it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth if I can be completely honest.

At least they won't know that they were shot down by the ones they're supposed to be on the same side of. War is so chaotic that we can create "Executioner" soldiers to get rid of the others, or have robots do it.

* * *

**[Log 833]**

There are a lot of the test-tube soldiers about now. The Facility is fully staffed.

They are dividing the children...the test-tube soldiers...further into groups to personalize training and make sure that not too many of them become rounded enough to actually live to adulthood.

They're phasing out the "Executioner", or "E" designations in favor of having robots do the deed. Robots can also be accused of malfunctioning, so it's a win-win.

They're giving out designations of "Attacker", "Battler", "Defender", "Scouts", "Operators", and "Healers" to the toy soldiers, to be finalized when they reach the age of eight or nine.

These designations started at the beginning of the numbers (we still refuse to give them names as they exist only to die. Naming something might get us attached, and we can't have that happen), and the Attackers were the very first designation.

So, we decided to keep with the trend of putting the "A" before the number, but the number before the B, D, S, O, or H.

* * *

**[Log 989]**

Things are working well. We have a full team of military scientists helping us, and the military aiding us as well. It has been a long road lasting many years...I think our research started twenty years ago? Time flies...but everything is finally in place.

We decided to implant transmitters into the left earlobes of each of the soldiers when they are removed from the test tube as a fail-safe. If they ever discover the truth and try to flee from battle, we will still have those to tell us where they are so we can track them down and have them eliminated.

The world will not look kindly upon what we've done and what we've been doing. The world cannot find out. Not even the majority of the Allied Forces know what we've been doing, and soldiers who come in contact with the YoRHa elites are ordered to keep their mouths shut.

The war is in full swing. When it is over...we will probably blow up the Facility during the night, when the remaining test tube soldiers are asleep, to erase all evidence.

1A, now named "White", will also be killed. She is an asset right now as she is well rounded and currently sits at the head of training the soldiers, but if she ever broke protocol...well, I can't see her ever doing that, but it'd be too risky to keep her alive.

* * *

**[Log 1023]**

We are looking into cloning again. If we can clone them from the DNA we get during their physical checkups, then it will be even easier to replace them.

Our soldiers have made the enemy send out more robots, which are easily disabled. Scouts are also taught how to hack, and are often sent to disable robot bases and factories in enemy territory. The enemy also still hesitates when they see children soldiers on the field.

If we were able to figure out how to create life, then surely we can figure out how to clone it. In the meantime, we'll continue to produce these test-tube soldiers to replace those fallen or executed on the battlefield. The battlefield will give them a reason to live, too. A pretend existence because they feel they're fighting for a cause, but in the end they're nothing but toy soldiers. They aren't truly "alive" in the sense that the rest of us are. I've heard some claim they can "feel"...that's preposterous. 

Toys can't feel.

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

* * *

_Continue reading the logs?_

[Y/N]

[Y/ ** _N_** ]

_Continue with the story?_

[Y/N]

[ ** _Y_** /N]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...time to add "breaking the 4th wall" as a tag.  
> I don't know why the line-break spacing looks a little off center (I spaced all of them evenly in the text), so unfortunately it's just going to have to stay like that unless I find a way to fix it. -_-


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Cheesiness alert. I even felt embarrassed when I was proofreading it. XD

* * *

9S sat by an isolated tree where they had met up, curled up with his legs drawn to his chest, his arms around his shins, and his head in his knees as he sat a little ways away from the others by his own choice.

The entire group sat in a semi-circle in front of him, completely silent, after hearing the logs.

A4 was stunned, but probably the first to realize that 9S's reaction upon finding out that they were all test-tube babies was probably a ten-year-old's version of an existential crisis. Still, she wasn't sure what to say.

None of them did.

They weren't orphans...they never had a family to begin with.

They were created in test tubes.

Created just to be sent into battle... _disposable_ tools of war.

Allowed emotions around the facility only to keep up their morale and make them think they were at least somewhat human.

Then, when the war ended, they would all be killed.

Their existence was just as 9S had said: Meaningless.

9S didn't want to see the looks on their faces. None of them were screaming, but he was too afraid to look up. _I did something terrible to them...I forgot that it didn't matter where we came from, just who we are now. That Twoobs is here..._

Or, she was.

He knew she was still physically in the room since nobody had gotten up to leave, but nobody said a word, either.

And he didn't know how to face her, knowing how much she cared about him and how he spat in the face of that...how he made her _cry_.

How badly he had hurt all of them...

What right did he have to sit there and feel sorry for himself for doing so?

_I **should** be looking at them...all their scorn. I deserve it. But...I'm scared._

He felt alone, and he only had himself to blame.

 _I didn't know how to react...I didn't know why I was alive. Why any of us were. But I don't want them to die. And...if they don't hate me too much, then I don't want to die, either. Twoobs said that she loves me...that she cares about me. If I died, I'd make her cry again. I don't want Twoobs to cry again._ 9S kept his eyes closed as he shivered slightly since he felt cold from the inside-out.

He wanted to ask for comfort, but didn't feel he deserved it.

Meanwhile, 2B was coming to an understanding. _Nines...found this information when he was alone. Nobody was there for him to talk to...to tell. I'm a test-tube child. I don't have parents...but the rest of them and Nines are still my family. It doesn't matter where I came from. And I know my feelings are real. Still...that means 8H was right and we're disposable. More-so than she originally thought. Existing only to die...that's horrible._

But she couldn't fault 9S for how he reacted. He was kind and sensitive, so of course he would take it hard and start doubting everything. They were _allowed_ to have flashes of emotion around the facility...a facility which had artificially created them.

Even she had briefly questioned whether her feeling of horror at hearing the truth was real, or if it was some sort of reaction given to them by the mad scientists who created them.

A2 was stunned at first, then rage filled her as she muttered every curse word known to man (and some not) under her breath. _Every time we went out to the battlefield, we were expected to die...and it was no big deal if we did, because that's what we were made for._

It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

No, more than a bitter taste...it filled her with pure _rage_. If A4 wasn't sitting next to her with a hand on her shoulder, she would have jumped up and started to punch the tree near them or kick at the ground.

_I...want to kill them. The ones in charge. I want to jump up and run over and..._

It was a bad plan, but A2 wasn't exactly one to "plan" things.

She felt A4's hand tighten on her shoulder as if both to steady herself and to keep A2 from springing up and going on a murder spree.

A2 sat back down and clenched her hands into fists only to release them and then repeat the process. _Those mother fucking shits! They...they created us! Everyone I've fought with...everyone who has died...has it been for nothing?! A damn war they created, we had to fight and die for! All of the times...!_

The comrades she saw die...the ones she screamed at to 9S about...had they died in vain? For some stupid war the adults created? _They created us like they created this war, I'll bet. It's all for their own damn self-serving agendas!_

The hand on her shoulder grounded her to reality a little bit, as well as a glance at 9S curled into a fetal position. _That's why he went off the deep end. Fuck...I would have done the same. Or worse...if I had found this shit out on my own. We were brought into this world to fight for their selfish reasons and then die gruesomely. Damn it all!!_

6O had an arm around 32S as the two sought each other for comfort, 21O's hand in her free one as they sat shoulder-to-shoulder as well. _We were created...created to die. That's...I can't put it into words. I'm sad. I saw...I saw 2B struggle so much, and the others on the battlefield, too...the bodybags they would bring back...and for what?_

_Does that mean my love for flowers was something they somehow programmed into me? And...and everyone else's quirks?_

She finished wiping her remaining tears, then shuffled closer to the group. _But I just...I don't feel like that's the case. Maybe I'm just denying it, but...I don't want to believe that we're nothing more than dolls._

32S curled up against her. _I never had a mom or dad...the thing I wanted and wondered about was just...a fantasy. We were...just..._

His thoughts seemed to jump-start when 6O's arm tightened around him a little. _...but 6O has been really nice to me. And I still want a family. Is that...wrong? No...I don't think so. Because everyone...is right here._

21O worried her lip. _Why? Why would they be so cruel? Maybe we are "monsters" and 9S was right. Certainly, I was very cold...the exact thing they wanted. I hate that! When I started to open up to 6O, then hang around this lot...I felt like a hole in my heart had been filled. That feeling...there's no way it was false! I don't know what it is, but I don't want it to be ripped away! Who cares where we came from, anyway!?_

A4 rubbed her temples, then put her hand back on A2's shoulder both for her own comfort and to keep the trembling girl from springing up. _Everyone who has died in Team Alpha so far...it was practically scripted. Executioners...and all of this as a sick joke to them. But we have feelings. We have souls...we don't deserve any of this. We don't deserve to be used in a political agenda for the adults. Since we exist now, we don't just merely exist for their war game._

Well, she couldn't say that about _everyone_ in their squad. Certainly, some of the kids were more doll-like and robotic than others. But their little group...they definitely had plenty of feelings and emotions, as well as a definite sense of "self".

Could they really be described as "toys" or "dolls", in that case?

They weren't supposed to let personal feelings interfere with their activities, but they did.

If they didn't, they wouldn't be sitting on the artificial grass right now trying to process a horrific story.

A couple of them wanted to call it as false...but only as a defense mechanism to deny the truth. They knew 9S had no reason to lie to them, and his current position and posture screamed "defeated".

_We just want to be normal kids. We're alive right now...and we have each other. That's what matters._

That thought went around the circle.

Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, it was 2B who broke the silence.

She stood up resolutely, walked the couple steps over to where 9S was curled in on himself, then knelt down in front of him.

9S wondered who it was since his eyes were squeezed shut, but he was just...so _tired_. Tired, scared, lonely...he felt absolutely terrible, and just wished that he had kept his mouth shut or asked them all if they could gather around like this in the first place to talk about what he found.

But no...he _had_ to have thought about it...and he _had_ to have acted like a brat and hurt them...

2B reached out, then placed her hand on the top of his head.

9S stilled, and his breath caught in his throat when he felt the hand gently run through his hair. He'd know that touch anywhere. _Twoobs..._

"Talk to me, Nines. Tell me what you're feeling right now."

2B's voice was soft. _I understand why he reacted that way...and it did hurt, but I can't really blame him. I was hurt and angry, but I can never hate him. And now I know that it wasn't that he hates me...hates us...but that he found out all of that information and didn't know how to react._ _Because he's kind. 9S is kind, and because of that, it hit him harder._

Besides, what _was_ the proper way to react to finding out _that?_ When 9S told them about the logs, they all sought comfort in each other so nobody went off the deep end like he had... _but he had been alone when he found the information._

Because they had been _together_ when the information was given to them, it was easier for them to look around and realize that even if they were created as tools of war, their feelings right now with one another, and their attempts at creating a "family", were genuine enough to keep them from giving up.

It was _real_.

Perhaps...that was all they needed to give them a meaning for now.

Even A2 felt that way, and took a couple steadying breaths as she (and the others) let 2B handle dealing with 9S.

"Please, Nines." 2B asked softly.

9S couldn't stop the small whimper which escaped his throat, yet he couldn't form any words to respond to her. He couldn't even cry anymore; it was like he was running on empty. _I'm terrible..._

"I understand," 2B added as she continued to run her hand through his hair in a comforting gesture. "You were all alone and didn't know how to react. You've been wanting to find out who your family is, and then to learn it isn't what you expected...that the truth was something like that...I don't blame you for how you reacted."

9S felt a strangled noise tear from his throat. _Twoobs...I'm sorry..._ "...I'm so sorry...I...I know an apology isn't enough. I'm the worst...that...that information, and an apology...doesn't excuse how I acted..."

2B shook her head even though he couldn't see. "Yes, it does...your words did hurt me..."

9S flinched again.

"...but I forgive you."

_You shouldn't. I don't deserve it._

"What you found was horrifying. I'm not sure I fully grasp it all, even now. So talk to me, please, Nines. What's running through your mind?" 2B encouraged as she rested her hand on his head to both comfort him and soak in the comfort that he was _alive_ and with them; that he and the others weren't just toys.

Certainly, she had been confused as well...but then she remembered that she had the others. She didn't do her best to stay alive because of orders, she did so for 9S and the others wouldn't be sad.

And now, she realized, because she wanted to be with them; especially with 9S.

For her, and perhaps the others, that was enough. Or perhaps, she just didn't understand it to the full extent he did. _What we created here, with all of us, is far stronger than the facility creating us. I just feel...our reasons are different._

"Nines. I'm not angry at you. It's okay now."

9S shivered from the cold and shook his head. "I...I feel terrible about what I said. I just don't know what to believe. It's all...I thought that..."

_I'm pathetic...I can't even put it into words._

_I'm such scum._

_I'm worse than the enemy, because I betrayed them._

_But I'm scared. I don't want to lose the warmth...don't want to lose this "family". I'm cold...I'm scared...it hurts...I don't want them to die...I'm scared...lonely...I don't want to be a pariah again..._

9S was mumbling without even realizing it.

2B leaned in a little to hear, and tears filled her eyes at the words.

"...scared...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...but I...I know I did something horrible. Something you shouldn't forgive me for...I was the worst of the worst. But...but I'm scared! I don't...I don't know what to do! Is it meaningless? And I...I know I don't deserve it, but I...I don't want...to lose any of you. Especially Twoobs...you...I was...for you, I don't think it's meaningless..."

Her tear-streaked face popped into his mind, and he swallowed hard against the nausea and guilt which welled up as he trembled.

"...that being with you...our time spent...those memories aren't false. And...and they aren't hollow or...or insincere...and...and a world without you is just...not worth living in..."

He trailed off into soft sobs.

Nobody else said a word as they were sorting through their own thoughts and all felt that it would be best if 2B handled it.

2B felt tears roll down her cheeks despite her efforts to keep them at bay, and any remaining hurt she had felt at his earlier words disappeared at seeing him so _lost_. She moved slightly to his side, then gently tugged at him until he all but collapsed into her with a surprised squeak.

Then, she wrapped her arms around him and held him securely. "I forgive you."

2B didn't know if those were the right words; if they were the words he desperately needed to hear. Certainly, the entire thing was just so much to take in that even she wasn't sure what to say to help him.

But the thing she knew for sure...was that she didn't want the kind 9S she grew up with to disappear. Nor any of them. Since she wasn't sure how to put that into words, she just held him tightly for the moment.

9S's breath caught, then he let out a noise which sounded like a wounded animal before he broke down into loud, gasping sobs. He had thought his tears had run dry; that he had nothing left...but as the cold emptiness inside of him started to thaw, his tears ran anew as he clung to 2B.

The others just watched, wide-eyed, as 9S completely broke down in her arms.

"I'm s-sorry! I r-ruined it! Everything! I s-scoffed at...and, and...and I made y-you feel like y-you f-failed...and...and I h-hurt everyone e-else, too...I don't...I don't know what to do! It h-hurts...and I...I'm so scared of losing everyone! Of...of losing _you_! If...if I can even call you 'Twoobs' anymore..."

"You can always call me 'Twoobs'." 2B interrupted soothingly.

9S buried his face in her shoulder. "I don't know why I...I thought all that. But that's no excuse for h-hurting everyone...or r-ruining the f-family you've al c-created..." _Not me...I don't deserve to be in that family. Even though...I..._

Surprisingly, it was A2 who picked up on the wording. "What do you mean, 'we created'? You're part of this little family, too! Don't try to weasel out of it so easily, brat! The only reason we ain't freaking the fuck out is cause we're all together!"

9S nearly choked on his tears when he gasped. "N-no! I don't...I shouldn't be part of it......what if I h-hurt you again? I...I made Twoobs and you cry! And 32S and 6O, and I doubted 21O...I'm the absolute _worst_! What if I do it again!?"

32S spoke. "But...but we still have hope. Even if we were made to die, you gave me a family, 9S. And I...I was really sad earlier, but...I understand. If I was by myself and had found out we had no mom or dad...that we were created from test-tubes just to die...I...probably would have reacted the same. Then offed myself."

6O pulled the youngest closer. "Don't you dare even consider it. Nobody consider that here, got it? We'll figure something out. And 9S...I get the feeling that sometimes, we can't avoid hurting each other with words or actions even if we don't mean to. But doesn't that just prove we aren't emotionless dolls of war?"

21O nodded empathetically. "I concur with 6O."

A4 also voiced her agreement as she patted A2 on the shoulder proudly.

9S's tears flowed even faster as he felt warmed. He had been so cold, but now...

"Wh-why?" 9S managed to get out. "Why l-let me of the h-hook so easily? N-none of y-you reacted like I d-did. I...I don't deserve...to be..."

2B cut him off as she leaned her head against his. "Yes you do. You deserve to be with us. You deserve forgiveness. You messed up...so what? I've said biting things to you before. We all have. Families fight, right? Then, that means they make up. And the difference between family is that they still love each other, right? So please...please stop beating yourself up over it. Please...forgive yourself, Nines. We all have each other. None of this is meaningless."

It was like an epiphany as 2B managed to pinpoint the current issue which still felt unresolved as they slowly came to terms with their origins.

_9S has given up because he can't forgive himself._

9S shuddered, unable to articulate anything after hearing that. His eyes hurt from crying, and his head was throbbing even more than his leg...but not all of the tears were of pain anymore. His heart didn't feel as heavy, and the chill he had felt since discovering that information...and even worse after he caused 2B to cry...was slowly thawing out to warmth.

"Sorry...everyone..." 9S finally stammered out again, breathless from his tears. _Because Twoobs is here...because everyone else is here...because I want to believe these feelings are real......it's not meaningless. Can I...believe that? Do I deserve it? After how I acted...after lashing out at them...I..._

2B continued to gently rub his back. "You're forgiven. No need to keep apologizing. Right?"

The last word was directed at the others.

32S was the first to get to his feet and run over, then hugged 9S from the other side. "I get it, now. I don't hate you at all! It's okay! I...I want all of us to still be my family! It's a bit scary, but it's okay because we have each other! And maybe we can even get out of here alive and have moms and dads, too!"

6O went over next and joined in the embrace. "Yea. We're a family. And even if we were created...so what? We have our own feelings and what-not...we have a _soul_. Hell, your reaction proved that most of all! You got angry, and now you feel bad for hurting us...you regret it. Then, all's forgiven."

9S could only answer with a small sob.

A4 pulled A2 over and quietly joined in the embrace. Her friend wasn't exactly a "hug and make up" type, but A2 sighed and ruffled 9S's hair.

"Yea, yea...what you did was shitty, but after finding that out...if I'd been the one to find out, by myself, I would have gone on a fucking rampage." A2 admitted. "No meaning, huh? So we just _create_ a fucking reason to live. Simple. Now stop blame'n yourself for freaking the fuck out over something worth freaking out about, you little brat."

The last two words were said with a warm tone of affection which A2 would later deny.

Finally, 21O came over and started out a little awkwardly, but wrapped her arms around 2B and 6O to cover 9S in the strange phenomenon which was occurring.

Had she been more savvy with emotions and familial terms, she would have known that this was a "group hug".

"I already said I don't hate you. Or anyone here. And all of us being together...coming back here to you all and the time spent with everyone here, that's what keeps me going. You're...endearing. In an 'I want to gag you sometimes' way," 21O admitted.

6O giggled, tears of joy in her eyes. "Right? Like a mischievous little brother!"

21O smiled. "Yes. Forgiven, 9S."

9S felt his tears still continue to fall, and he still hadn't completely forgiven himself for reacting like that...but he wasn't cold or scared anymore. _They still want me...Twoobs and the others forgave me...even though I was a prick...I don't deserve their forgiveness, but I still..._

He accepted it; their warmth, their kindness, their forgiveness...

Those feelings which were _real_...which kept him grounded in the moment...

_It's not meaningless. Maybe...maybe with each other, we really can find a reason to live...to exist._

9S let out a shaky breath.

2B smiled softly. "Feeling better? Are you still scared?"

"The fear's gone...and yea..." 9S closed his eyes tiredly. "I like this. Am...am I allowed to enjoy this?"

Before 2B could respond, A2 did: " _Yes_ , you little damn brat! They're your mother fucking _feelings_! Fuck's sake...how many times do we gotta tell you that even though you can be a little shit at times..."

"A2!!" A4 gasped in a scandalized tone as 32S blanched.

6O giggled, and 21O smirked.

"...you're _our_ little shit. Just, I dunno...learn from the mistake or some fucking lame-ass lesson like that," A2 concluded.

A4 chimed in softly. "That's...that's what it means to be human. Right? 9S, you told us that humans make a lot of mistakes, but they learn from them and live and grow because of them. So more so than ever, this incident makes us all human."

9S was too tired to chuckle as his tears stopped. "So in other words, we can't be monsters...huh? Everyone, I..."

"Don't you dare fucking apologize again. I'm sick of hearing it." A2 warned. "Don't make me flick your forehead, cause I'll find a way to fucking do it in this weird dog pile!"

2B giggled, and to 9S, it was such a soft yet wonderful sound.

He knew that it would still take time to get over the visage of 2B's tears, if he ever did.

But it was a good warning to him as well...that nothing should be taken for granted, and that he shouldn't repeat the same mistake he made.

They forgave him, something he was still struggling to do for himself, but he didn't want there to be a "next time".

"We'll figure something out," 2B assured him. "It...it might not be such a hopeless situation. Didn't you say you wanted to try fishing when the war ends? And that iced cream?"

9S was too exhausted to correct her, so he just nodded.

"We'll find a way to do it." 2B stated firmly. "We'll find more meanings to live in this world, and we'll find a _way_ to survive this place."

"Damn straight!" A2 whooped. "I'm not gonna let those lab coats fuck me over!"

"It doesn't matter where or how we were born," A4 added, ever the voice of reason in their little group. "At least, it shouldn't have _too_ much weight. What matters is where we are now and where we want to go."

"And how we feel," 6O chirped. "Our feelings are _genuine_ , and they're _ours_. We're more than just throw-away soldiers."

"We're..." 21O paused, unsure of what word to use. "We have souls. We're human."

"We're a family." 32S added softly.

9S sighed in contentment as he felt his fears melt away. "Yea. I...I can still be part of it...?"

2B's hold tightened momentarily on him. "Of course."

A2 rolled her eyes. " _Yes_ , you fucking blockhead. That's what we've been _tell'n you_."

9S slumped, energy spent but a small smile on his face. "...thanks."

Sure, they would have to do some serious discussion and planning on just how to get out of this alive (without letting the upper brass find out what they knew), but that was most definitely a topic for another time.

They couldn't wait too long on it, but they at least knew they had time to let their frayed nerves and emotions recover.

Plus, for some reason, it felt like the healing had been accelerated after their little group hug...

...even though A2 would deny it afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry...  
> Not sure if I managed to capture how the others felt about it properly. I edited the chapter quite a few times, but decided to go with this version.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter. :o  
> Well, there's A2's potty mouth...but that's just a given at this point. XD

* * *

9S's little pretend spaceship finished shooting down the last of the enemy units, leaving only the core exposed. "Got'cha!"

32S looked over at him from where they sat in the computer room. He had been injured in training (as usual) the other day, so he was supposed to take it easy for the next couple of days due to bruised ribs.

It had been two days since they found out the truth, and the group had put their heads together to come up with a plan which had mostly been formulated by 9S and A4.

This little bit of hacking on their part was all part of the plan.

_***Flashback***_

_"Okay, I was doing some thinking," 9S said as they met up in the bunk which A2 and A4 shared. It was risky for him and 32S to be in there as boys were not supposed to be in the girls' rooms, but it was the safest place for any of them to meet._

_The garden was wide enough where they could discuss things, but there was still a chance of being overheard. Since everyone had been at lunch the other day when 9S revealed the logs to them, they were the only ones._

_However, they couldn't skip meals, so their best chances were to meet in one of the bunks._

_A2 and A4 were in an older bunk room which only had space for two beds. It was a bit of a squeeze to get them all in there, so A2 and A4 sat on A2's bed while 6O and 21O sat on A4's bed. 2B, 9S, and 32S sat on the floor._

_"Good, cause we've got noth'n." A2 grunted._

_9S still felt bad for how he had treated them, but their behavior of just letting it go made it easier for him to cool his head (2B staying with him afterwards when he rested in his bunk after certainly didn't hurt) and think properly._

_"You have an idea already?" 6O's eyes widened._

_9S flushed, but then nodded. "A couple, actually. First is that we need a way to communicate in case of emergencies...one which won't be detected by the adults or reported by the other kids."_

_Thoughtful looks filled the room._

_"Don't supposed you have an idea?" 6O asked the boy._

_9S shrugged. "I've thought of a couple things, but I'm not sure how viable they'd be."_

_21O frowned. "There's the possibility of anything we use getting intercepted or overheard. Coming up with our own code would be too time consuming."_

_The room was silent for a moment as they were reminded of their deadline. The war was heavily skewed in favor of the Allies now and obviously had been winding down since there had been less and less deployments. They didn't know if they had a year or only a couple of weeks to figure out how to survive the Facility and get out before they were killed when the war ended._

_2B spoke up. "The only thing I can think of is Morse Code since it's outdated. It would also be easy to sneak by in using it since we can just tap it out on the table. If we can limit it to a single word to get a meaning across, then even if the message is intercepted, it wouldn't make sense to anyone."_

_"That's a possibility..." A4 mused. "Does everyone here know Morse Code? Show of hands."_

_All of their hands went up._

_"Not sure we should use that." 6O hesitantly said when she lowered her hand._

_21O was in agreement. "Operators are taught multiple forms of languages, communications, and codes to better intercept enemy transmissions and convey messages to the battlefield. Even if we assign code words to values, that would be suspicious in itself."_

_They all fell back into thinking._

_A2 groaned. "Dammit...this would be so much fucking easier if we didn't have to hide all the time!"_

_"We can't be sure that everyone would accept it if we told them," A4 reminded her. "Not to mention that all of us would most likely be executed for our knowledge."_

_A2 cursed again._

_9S's mind raced, and he snapped his fingers. "No, I think A2 has something, there."_

_"I do?"_

_"She does?"_

_9S chuckled. "Yea. We can just talk about stuff we'd usually discuss. Things like...what we want to do when the war is over. But we can give hidden meanings to some of the words. Like...if I say 'fishing', it could maybe mean that we've discovered information."_

_"Ooh!" 6O squealed. "I like that! Then, um...I want to go shopping at a mall, so 'shopping' can be assigned something, too!"_

_"And ice cream," 2B added._

_9S beamed. "Yep! We talk about this stuff to each other all the time! Nobody will even know it's code for something else!"_

_"Hide a tree in the forest...very strategic." A4 approved. "Alright. So, that's one thing we need to do this meeting...assign short messages and meanings to various keywords. What else do we need to cover?"_

_"Our goals," 9S once again took the lead. "We have allies on the outside, but it hasn't been long since we found out about them."_

_He really didn't want to tell them about 64B and 8H, mostly for their own safety. It was risky enough that he and 2B knew and had let them go, not to mention the knowledge they had on the lab reports, but if the others knew that they had aided traitors..._

_If the information ever came to light, then the entire group would be punished._

_Probably by death._

_"So, we need to plan for something we can do on the inside and a way to try and contact them." 9S concluded. "To do that...we'll need to hack out of the Facility. 32S and I have been doing that for a while."_

_"You longer than me." 32S quipped._

_9S couldn't deny that. "Getting out isn't an issue. It's guarded, but the facility's own network was much more guarded. But getting out and sending a message or setting up a website...that's what 32S and I will work on. This Facility is based on secrecy, and we need to blow that secret out of the water."_

_32S hesitated a moment, a look of fear in his eyes, then nodded as it turned into a resolute expression. "I...I still wanna have a family when this is done. A mom and a dad...even if we're not related by blood. I'll do it!"_

_9S smiled at him. "Great! Um...just for the record, all of our jobs will carry a risk..."_

_A2 chuckled. "Little late for that **now** , bonehead. We're fucking prepared."_

_Nods of agreement went up._

_"Okay. 32S and I will work on actually making contact with the outside world through hacking." 9S hoped it didn't take much time; they could access information, but putting information out there was something he had never done before as it could leave a digital trail right to them. "We'll have to be careful to cover our tracks."_

_"One of us could hack, and the other can cover," 32S suggested._

_9S brightened. "Great idea!"_

_32S flushed shyly, but everyone could see a big smile on his face._

_6O looked thoughtful. "I suppose 21O and I can monitor conversations on the battlefield for any snippets of outside information."_

_"Not only that," 21O spoke aloud as she had an epiphany, "But we can also monitor what the higher ups are doing without even appearing suspicious. It's in our communications training."_

_9S blinked owlishly, but then instantly agreed. "I was going to ask for help on other languages from you two, but that's an even better plan! Sorry...I don't know much of an Operator's job..."_

_"None of us do." A4 admitted. "All our assignments are specialized for our unit type. We know the basics, but not the details."_

_"Probably on purpose." 2B added._

_"Yea, but what the fuck can **we** do?" A2 gestured to herself, A4, and 2B. "You lot work with communications and hacking shit...all we can do is fight. Or is this one of those 'sit tight and wait for the smarter ones to get info' situations?"_

_9S cringed. "We're...not necessarily smarter..." It certainly hadn't been smart of him to react the way he had..._ _and he never thought he was smarter than the others._

_2B looked to him. "But do you have an idea of what we can do besides just 'act natural'?"_

_"We want to help, too." A4 admitted quietly._

_9S had thought about it, and had a rough time figuring out what they could possibly do to help what was a covert operation from inside the base. A and B units weren't typically used for that sort of thing, especially A units._

_9S had finally come to a conclusion, though. "There are two scenarios for us surviving. The first is that our allies are able to help spread the word about the Facility's lack of a moral compass and the Allies put an end to the project. The other is that we somehow manage to go AWOL. I'd rather not have to go the route of the second option. Our odds of survival from escaping the Facility, be it the building itself or deserting on the battlefield, are very low. Especially with how large our group is. So, we need to plan for both, but preferably the former outcome."_

_Nods went up in agreement._

_"We don't even know where the fuck we **are**." A2 added._

_"That, too. I've determined that we're probably in some remote location due to the travel length to the battlefields," 9S admitted. "That doesn't bode well for us escaping on our own. We'll need our outside allies."_

_"Where do we come in, then?" 2B asked. "I don't mind if we have to sit back and wait, but..."_

_"It'll fucking suck." A2 stated bluntly._

_"I have the schedules of the guards memorized," 9S explained, "But not the schedules of all the other kids in Squad 9-14. We need to be able to recall where every guard and every kid is at all times as well as the other kids. That way, we can change up our meeting place so that nobody gets suspicious of us constantly disappearing."_

_2B looked thoughtful. "True...at the moment, and if we kept meeting up in this room, all of us could be looked at suspiciously for not spending free time in any of our usual places."_

_9S nodded. "Since you three are used to having to know the location of enemy units, your job would be to memorize the typical patterns of the other kids. Most of them are probably predictable and will follow a set schedule. Like...801S will **always** go to the library and browse the War History section during free time after lunch, every day, like clockwork."_

_32S nodded, as he had also noticed the presence of the other Scout multiple times when they met in the library._

_"Memorize the 'enemy' patterns. Tall order." A2 stretched, then grinned. "But I like a good challenge. Good plan, brat."_

_9S flushed and scratched his cheek shyly. "Well, obviously...if there are any flaws you all see at any time, we'll adjust it..."_

_2B smiled at him. "It seems like a sound plan."_

_A4 bobbed her head. "All agreed?"_

_"Agreed!" Came the response from the rest of the room._

_2B gently ruffled 9S's hair. "Good job, Nines."_

_9S turned even redder, then quickly stammered that they should focus on creating those code words while some of the girls giggled for some reason he didn't understand._

_***Flashback***_

"You're out?" 32S asked quietly. They weren't being monitored, but he was normally soft spoken. That, and the two were working on the hacking while everyone else was in training at the moment since both of them had a physical reason they couldn't join the training.

"Yep. How's the connection? Can you secure it?" 9S asked.

32S typed quickly and quietly for a few moments, then let out a breath. "Yea. I can keep it from leaving a digital trail, but only for about five minutes at a time. After five minutes, they might be able to notice _something_ out of the ordinary should they check the activity files."

"Okay. Five minutes per...we'll do it in four minute spurts, then, to give time to cover our tracks." It wasn't optimal, but at least it was better than only having thirty seconds or a minute. He'd have less time if he had to do it all on his own.

9S's fingers were also quick across his keyboard as he searched for rights activists. _Not sure if I can find 64B and 8H this quickly, but I can at least probably find out what sort of rights activists there are out there. Human rights, maybe? The logs indicated that the scientists were sure that they were going against ethics. We were never taught about that sort of thing, but it's a good place to start._

"Three minutes remaining of four." 32S kept track of the time.

"Got it." 9S affirmed as his eyes scanned through the information. _Human rights war...no...ethics. Human ethics and the war...lots of articles._

The temptation to click on something else was almost unbearable; this was the first time he had hacked this far out of the facility, and for the first time he had a chance to see just what _exactly_ was going on in the outside world...

"Two minutes remaining of four."

...but no. He couldn't give into temptation. _Twoob's life, and everyone else's...hinges on finding the right site. I have to be able to post anonymously, too._

Many of the sites were "forums", which was silly to 9S since they didn't look like forms at all, and required one to sign up and log in to post.

That would be a death sentence.

Not that the facility would know who accessed the outside world, but they would know that _someone_ did. Then, they would lockdown all computers...perhaps even monitor them at all times.

9S checked a couple other sites.

"One minute remaining out of four."

9S cursed under his breath. "I don't think I'll find it in this attempt. I'm going to start pulling out now."

"Okay. We need to wait five minutes before trying again. Um, I mean...we don't _need_ to, but to be on the safe side..."

"We should spread out our attempts at various intervals. Just in case they _do_ detect abnormalities in their servers, we don't want to give them a pattern." 9S added.

32S nodded in agreement, then started to help cover up all traces of them from the network and internet once 9S disconnected.

Once they finished covering their tracks, the two let out breaths of relief, then looked at each other and chuckled in a nervous release of energy.

"And think...that was just the _first dive_." 9S giggled.

"Y-yea...but...but we can do it.....right?" 32S frowned uncertainly.

"Yep!" 9S beamed, then leaned back in the chair. "Let's wait your suggested five minutes for this first one. I found a lot of sites, but many wanted log-ins and passwords and all sorts of stuff which would have been bad if I did it."

He needed to make an anonymous post...perhaps something about hearing rumors that though the Allied Forces are good people, a portion of them had been delving into unethical human experiments to create the "perfect soldiers".

9S thought for a moment. _Or...it doesn't need to be in a specific place or a single site. If I just spread the rumor here and there, then maybe it'll take off. Information on the internet tends to encompass a wide variety of people from a variety of places. A few similar posts with similar wording will have any curious folk doing research into it._

That, and it might help him connect with the two AWOL soldiers whom he hoped were safe.

"Ready?" 32S's voice interrupted. "It's been five minutes."

"All set." 9S cracked his knuckles, then started hacking away at the firewalls and encryptions again. _For all our sake...let's get the world talking about it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I wanted to include some visuals from the "hacking game" in Nier...especially since I'm not a hacker and only have a bare minimum of knowledge in coding (mostly just with the Ren'Py engine's coding language, Python), and thus wouldn't be able to write a hacking "process". ^^;


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning/Disclaimer: Names, account names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination (or lack there-of). Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
> 
> Responses in other languages basically echo the things said in English; Google Translate was used for this, so I apologize for any grammar issues.

* * *

****

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #33 by Anonymous]_

I more than agree that there are some really suspicious things going on in the war. I know someone who had been in out in the war (retired with a Purple Heart), and they briefly mentioned children soldiers in the Allied Forces. When I asked more about it, this person suddenly pretended like they had never mentioned it. Like they weren't supposed to talk about it.

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #34 by WarCritic2829]_

Are you kidding me? If that's true, then this is even worse than we thought!

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #35 by ajak900]_

Is anyone looking into these claims? We don't want random, untrue information floating around. That's how trouble starts.

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #36 by warsux69]_

omg, i hope its not tru!

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #37 by EliteProtester]_

I'm going to look into this. My brother was in the war.

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #38 by ajak900]_

I can't find any info to confirm or deny the claim of child soldiers.

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #39 by sigmadelta5]_

I wouldn't be surprised if there was child soldiers. The Empire is using mindless robots, after all. Where are the kids coming from, though? War orphans?

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #40 by AdminSarah]_

There was a rumor floating about the other day on a similar topic. I'm going to post to social media and see if anyone in the Facelook group knows. I'll Twatter it as well. If it's true, then we'll need to alert the media and prepare protests, because human experimentation is even worse than anything else in this thread.

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #41 by EliteProtester]_

My brother is mum on the topic. Totally sus! I think there's something to the claim! Nobody will talk about it!

**[Topic: Ethical Ramifications of War]**

_[Post #42 by AdminSarah]_

I'm starting a new topic for any information our members can find out about this crucial development. The war seems to be winding down, but that just means we need to shift our attention from protesting the draft to protesting the use of children in the war.

Please follow the link below to the new thread.

_(link)_

*this topic has been locked by an Admin*

* * *

_**[Article: Thoughts on the War (Allies) Comment Section]** _

**Anonymous372:** Greetings. I'm rather new here, so I haven't created an account yet as this is also a news publication. I heard from a rather reliable source that though they meant well, the Allied Forces have been using genetically engineered children in the war against the Empire.

While I cannot stand the Empire or what it stands for, using children to fight a war for the adults is completely wrong and morally reprehensible.

**Tom Smith:** wtf? now they have kids fiteing our wars?

**Sandra Moore:** This is disturbing. Does anyone know if it's true?

**Andy Bennett:** My dad's fighting in the war and won't talk about it. I think it might be true.

**Randy Richardson:** Never in my life have I ever heard such a horrific claim. Anyone look into this?

**Barry Cox:** source? sounds like Empire propaganda

**Andy Bennett:** What would be the point of that now? Allies gonna win.

**Barry Cox:** fuck if i know. just trying to confirm

**Linda Brown:** I read about that on another site! The Allies have some sort of secret research team creating clones or something like that to send into the war!

**Chad Harris:** lol! That sounds like a scifi novel!

**Anonymous455:** Truth is stranger than fiction.

* * *

**Jackass** (a)ScienceLady

There's been confirmation from two ex-soldiers! They're kids! It's all REAL! Strap in folks, this is serious!

#ChildrenSoldiers #MadWarScience #WW4

**Emil Skeleton** (a)Little_Emil

Hey guys! The adults are talking about kids like us being sent into the war! Check out the link! Crazy and scary stuff!

(CLICK HERE FOR ARTICLE)

#ChildrenSoldiers #omgwtfAllies #WW4

**Devola Gestalt** (a)Devola_and_Popola

Yo, wtf is this shit? Kids fighting in wars? Genetic engineering? WTF are those asshats doing over there? I'm all for the Allies, but fuck!

#ChildrenSoldiers #wtfAllies #WW4

**Engels Wattson** (a)EngelMachine

CHILDREN ARE BEING EXPERIMENTED ON AND USED IN WAR! THIS CANNOT CONTINUE!!

#ChildrenSoldiers #WW4 #CannotContinue

**Louis Rodriguez** (a)LuisRodriguez

¿Qué pasa? ¿Por qué los niños están peleando la guerra? ¡Esto no debe continuar!

#WW4 #childrensoldiers

**Leader Anemone** (a)AnemoneR

Reports are in that two children soldiers managed to escape and want the others freed from the corrupt, morally bankrupt adults who are forcing children to fight our battles!

#ChildrenSoldiers #WW4

**Abelle Cuvelier** (a)AbelleCuvelier

Il y a de jeunes enfants qui se battent dans notre guerre. Inacceptable! Les trouver et de les arrêter!

#WW4 #childrensoldiers

**Pascal** (a)PascalBotti

I run an orphanage, and I can't believe the news but it's true! I can't imagine any of these kids fighting a war! They're only children! It's not right!

#ChildrenSoldiers #WW4 #CannotContinue

**斉藤 サクラ** (a)SaitouSakura

同盟国は素晴らしいですが、彼らは戦争に子供を送っています！ 実際にこれらの子供たちを遺伝子工学の工場があります！

#WW4 #childrensoldiers

**The Real Stumpy** (a)StumpyMachi

Children soldiers! Genetic engineering! Children should not be fighting! This cannot continue!

#CannotContinue #childrensoldiers #WW4

**Ulrich Müller** (a)Ulrich_Müller

Statt roboter werden kinder in den krieg geschickt, genetisch manipuliert. Das ist unethisch! Muss gestoppt werden!

#cannotcontinue #childrensoldiers #ww4

**Weight of the World** (a)Nier_OST

We need to shout it out loud, even if our words seem meaningless! We can save those children if we never give up! Even if it seems worthless, we still need to cry out! For their future! The world is corrupted, but we can fill it with love!

_PLEASE ADD YOUR VOICE!!_

#WW4 #CannotContinue #ChildrenSoldiers #BreakThe4thWall

**Mystic Dragon** (a)Kairy_Dragon

WTF! Kids are our future, not to be used as soldiers! This is WRONG, and it must be STOPPED!

#ChildrenSoldiers #BreakThe4thWall

**Angry Max Fury Street** (a)angrymaxfuryst

This is HORRIFYING. Why conscript children in a war caused by adults???

#ChildrenSoldiers #BreakThe4thWall

**SJibbi** (a)SJibbi_on_DA

It must be a asinine time to rely on children to fight in wars that we should win...for them!

#SaveYoRHa #ChildrenSoldiers #BreakThe4thWall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits time! A HUGE shoutout and thank you to my friends on Deviant Art who responded to my request for helping me to break the 4th wall at the end:
> 
> AngryMaxFuryStreet - https://www.deviantart.com/angrymaxfurystreet (DA page), @angrymaxfuryst (Twitter)
> 
> sJibbi - https://www.deviantart.com/sjibbi (DA page)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter! 
> 
> I did have to make up a couple of the scientists, but Zinnia was in the concert script. I don't remember/recall any other named scientists, but there's no way one person did all of that, so...I actually had to add in a couple other scientists just for this chapter.

* * *

The Facility was in a buzz. The war was winding down and the Empire was cornered, but now new concerns were coming to light.

Namely, that somehow, the public had found out about the children soldiers as well as that they had something to do with genetic engineering.

Of course, the top brass (and scientists) of the Facility didn't give a single hint to the kids/soldiers that there was anything strange going on, but for 9S, 2B, and the others, they noticed a definite increase of personnel coming and going and a decrease in going to the battlefield.

In fact, it had been an entire month since anyone had been deployed.

An emergency meeting was occurring between the top brass and scientists.

Yes, White knew about the scientists and where she came from (as well as where the other children came from), but thought nothing of it since to her it didn't matter.

This, however, was a problem.

"The entire institution, the facility, has been compromised." White said as she sat at one of the chairs of the table they were meeting at in a board room in the basement.

"That is most likely due to those two who got away. It certainly isn't _our_ fault as scientists." A female scientist with long black hair huffed.

Her companion lead scientist, a clean-shaven man, agreed. "While that is most likely the case, the question now is where we go from here. I had my hesitations on the project to begin with..."

White interrupted him. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you and your colleagues, Zinnia."

The third lead scientist, also male but with gray hair, was a little more stressed out about the entire thing. "Yes, but _what do we do_ about it? How much information did those two traitors get away with?"

An Operator leader looked over her pamphlet of gathered information. "Unknown. Soldier 8H was formerly know as Soldier 8S. She had spent four years being trained as a Scout and showed great aptitude. It's possible she managed to hack into the database."

"The network?" Zinnia's eyes widened. "Impossible! We use _military level_ anti-theft and hacking protections!"

"Why else would they have deserted? You can't mean to tell me that two of the created dolls of war just gained free will." The female scientist frowned.

Zinnia considered it. "We _have_ been seeing an increase in displays of free will, Aster. Even you and Muguet have to had noticed that."

The female of the original team, Aster, frowned deeply while the other man of the original team, Muguet, still focused on the here and now.

"I don't care how you _think_ they might have gained a free will. Somehow, they got into the network and found our data. Now they've spread it to the outside world because _your_ soldiers..." here, Muguet rounded on White. "...were unable to even find them!"

"They knew about the transmitters." White responded coldly. "They even removed them and left them in an area which we searched and came up with nothing."

The broad man who sat at the head of the table cleared his throat, multiple military insignias on his uniform. "Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter at this point. The two are gone, the outside world knows and are rallying to find this facility and free the creations here since they consider them as actual 'children'. We should activate the fail-safe."

"Fail-safe?" White looked sharply at him.

Zinnia shook his head. "We can't, General Red. It would be meaningless at this point and would only incite the public further. It could damage all the work the Allies have done up until now. Both sides have used some radical science...from the Empire's attempt at modifying their soldiers with implants, to this...but in terms of which one is worse, it'd be the creation of artificial human life and using them as soldiers."

"Only because they have the form of children." Red muttered.

White wondered about the fail-safe, but was too well trained to ask questions relating to whatever weird things the scientists got up to. "We can't send them out to battle anymore because of the growing public eye. Many troops have cut off ties with us, most likely in attempts to say they were never associated with a 'mercenary' group using children soldiers."

"Mercenary...so that's the thanks we get for saving their asses." Red grunted. Louder, he said to the table: "Well, if they're deigning us as 'mercenaries', the fail-safe can still be used."

Zinnia disagreed. "Negative, General. The same issues would still stand. Plus, what's to say that 64B and 8H didn't manage to directly copy any information they might have gotten from the network? Destroying the evidence is useless if they've backed it up."

White did not like those implications. "Destroying evidence...fail-safe......were you and your team going to kill us, Zinnia?"

Zinnia averted his eyes and said nothing.

White took a deep breath, then let it out. "I am understandably angry, of course. I didn't fight my way through the battlefield to become a Commander simply to be killed so that you and your team could hide all traces of whatever moral atrocities you say you have done. That said, I'm not about to let my emotions cloud my judgment. Do what you must."

Zinnia let out a tired sigh. "It was originally our plan to destroy the facility after the war; claim that it was some accident, and then we would get away and could save the research for the next generation when a war will inevitably break out again."

"I see." White mumbled.

Nobody else was surprised, as with the exception of White, they were all humans who had been enlisted in the branch of the army overseeing the development of Project YoRHa.

Red tapped his finger on the table in agitation. "We'll all face court marshal for this!"

The head Operator crossed her hands on the table. "Yes, with this development, our careers are most definitely ruined. We could just make a run for it before they discover the place...we weren't named. Or, we could try to knock down any legal sentencing we get by outing the politicians who backed us."

Red rubbed his chin. "Those old men certainly did approve of us. We were just following their orders..."

Nobody protested it, even though they all knew that they were guilty of unethical experimentation.

"We lose our jobs and rank, but we could stay out of jail..." Red mused.

"What of us?" Aster frowned deeply. "Those rats in the Senate will bring up the fact that _we_ approached _them_ for a military grant of aid on our research, which led to the entire facility. You and your troop might get off, but the three of us will wind up in prison without a doubt."

Red didn't seem concerned. "Someone will have to take the fall. With how much outrage there is out there from the public and the more 'hippie' congress members, they won't be satisfied with just a couple politicians taking the fall. They'll want the scientists responsible."

Muguet shifted nervously. "We could pin the team."

"And when the team turns on us? Then what?" Aster snapped.

Zinnia had an urge to laugh. _In our arrogance, we even included parts of our last names in the project, itself. It won't take a genius to figure that out._

The scientist looked up wearily as he watched everyone argue. _It's poetic justice, I think. The result of those of us willing to do whatever it takes to win a war. The Allies will win as the Empire is now cornered and we're just waiting for their surrender. But the cost will be us._

He believed they deserved it. _I had a few regrets on the entire thing. I would have rathered our clones work, or even the androids. I don't believe in hell...none of us do. But maybe prison will be our hell._

Finally, Zinnia interrupted the arguments. "The three of us will work with you and your troop, General Red, to put the blame on the politicians who sponsored this."

Aster spun in her seat. "Are you mad, Zinnia?! We'll go to jail!"

"As opposed to what? Run? For the rest of what remains of our lives?" Zinnia sat back in his chair calmly. "We have to accept our fate. Whomever accessed the network, most likely 8H, pulled one over on us. We cannot detonate the facility or it would have negative repercussions for the Allies as a whole. We cannot go on the run for we will inevitably be caught...and when we do, the chances of us getting a plea bargain would substantially decrease."

Muguet trembled. "So...that's our only option? To turn ourselves in?"

"Yes." Zinnia stated bluntly. "We knew from the start that we were doing something morally wrong...and everyone seated at this table was in on it in some way. Even Commander White eventually was informed on the truths."

Most of them, at least; even White hadn't known about the fail-safe plan.

"None of us are innocent. None of us are getting out of this now. Our best option is to surrender ourselves to the rest of the military, who will then surrender us to the law for war crimes. Anything else will just make either our situation or the Allies' situation worse. Are you lot not patriotic enough to take a hit? This was all for the Allies."

Wrong as it was, though Zinnia left that little bit out. _All's fair in love and war...until the war is over and we get hauled off for unethical practices._

Nobody at the table was happy with the outcome, but their other options were even worse.

"Fine." General Red finally agreed. "We turn ourselves over and try to get a bargain in exchange for outing those old coots who were our financial backers. Should you choose to run between now and when the rest of the military shows up after I call them, I will not blame you...but know that it is not in your best interest to do so."

Muguet and Aster exchanged looks, and Zinnia had a feeling that the two would be gone in a couple of hours. _I'll stay and pay my dues. The soldiers on the floors above us were brought into this world to fight and die for the war. I have doubts that many will survive in the real world._

Even if they were properly introduced to it, their soldiers were taught to take their own lives should they fall into enemy hands.

It was a little sad to Zinnia, but he expected many of their creations to take their own lives out of fear of the real world. _They have nothing to fight for...no goal. They don't understand things like 'jobs' and 'work' if it's not related to the military. Perhaps some of the eldest could be taken into the military, and the youngest could integrate better...but those aged eight to sixteen will have trouble out there._

Really, it would have been a mercy to kill them...and Zinnia felt remorse that they couldn't grant their creations that.

As the meeting adjourned, the scientist stood up and took one last look around the table where they had held many meetings. _Perhaps I'll wait outside. I won't run, but I'm constantly in the labs. If I'm to spend the rest of what remains of my life regretting what I've done, then perhaps I can try to see the world we were fighting so hard for away from a computer screen._

Yes. He would do that. Then, he would turn himself in with the others.

A fitting end, he decided.

* * *

It was with great confusion that not only did the announcement tell the kids of the facility to gather in Room 001...but it told _all_ of the kids.

Every single one of them were there; from the elusive pre-squad 4-8 to the smaller Squadron 15-19.

The youngest ones looked a little daunted being around the older soldiers, though others looked curious.

9S and 2B exchanged puzzled looks. They hadn't really thought just what might happen when their plan went down, but this was a little worrying.

Of course, 9S and 32S had been keeping up with what was going on outside, while 6O and 21O had been finding increasing calls out of the facility from White and the lieutenants (but were unable to discover the content).

"The fuck is going on?" A2 asked as she stood with their little group. "No missions for a month, now some sudden gathering? They gonna blow us up?"

9S shook his head, a look of puzzlement on his face. "The plan was for them to do it overnight while everyone was asleep and blame a system malfunction."

"Is it okay for you to be talking about that so casually?" A4 asked.

9S shrugged. "It's so noisy in here that nobody can overhear us."

That was certainly true; the young ones (especially the four year olds) were making quite a ruckus and running around, while even many of the older kids were whispering to one another in confusion.

The announcement hadn't mentioned a mission, and even if it had, the pre-squad 4-8 _never_ interacted with the older squadrons.

2B reached over and took 9S's hand. "There have been a lot of adults moving about in the hallways as well."

9S nodded and squeezed back nervously. _If we got found out, I'll take the fall._

2B was thinking the exact same thing.

The others were worried for that reason, though their nervousness wasn't suspicious because everyone in the room was antsy.

Even Commander White at the front of the room looked particularly conflicted, and there were a couple additional lieutenants at the front as well.

Finally, the last of the 4-8 pre-squadron had been brought in by some adults wearing white coats designating them as doctors, and the doors were closed.

A2 and A4 glanced at each other with worry in their eyes.

6O took 32S's hand when the boy shivered slightly, then took 21O's hand with her other one.

21O nearly jumped, but had been slowly getting used to 6O being more touchy-feely lately and was oddly fine with it.

"QUIET!"

A hush fell over the room.

A couple four year olds went to question it, but _glares_ from their handlers stopped them.

Commander White had an unreadable expression on her face as she surveyed all of the kids in the room. "The war is ending."

The youngest ones gasped, and a couple of the younger ones also started to whisper excitedly...until again, their handlers in white coats shushed them.

The older ones knew better than to react, though even they showed surprise.

"And as such..." White took a deep breath, then let it out. "...there will be no need for this place. Within the next few hours, the military will be transporting you to a local hospital where you will be given a physical and then placed in either a war orphanage or a foster home. Your time on the battlefield is finished, and it has been decided that you will all live as children."

A ripple of confusion went through the groups. The four and five year olds weren't as confused since most of them had no clue what was happening, but even the six year olds who had been training already were shocked that they wouldn't have to go into combat.

The older kids were the ones who reacted the most.

Many even broke protocol by exclaiming "what?!" or other variations.

White allowed them to chatter nervously. She, herself, had no idea what was going to happen to her. _I was also one of them over a decade ago. Will I end up tried for war crimes with the others, or will I be pardoned? How will I fit into society? Can I fit? Perhaps I can get a career in the military if I'm pardoned..._

"What's going on?"

"Wait, so the war's over?"

"No more fighting? What will we do?"

"We have to be 'children'? What does that even mean?"

Even 9S and 2B were a little frightened, as even though they wanted to be free, the facility and the battlefield were all they really knew. Sure, books and hacking had provided them additional information, but now that it was _happening_...

A2 cursed. "How the fuck are we supposed to live peacefully? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad, but..."

A4 looked around. "Everyone's confused."

32S was one of the few who wasn't worried, and instead looked excited. "A family..."

6O nodded to him. "Y-yea. Yea! Family, shopping malls..."

21O then realized something. "What if we aren't all together? There are a lot of us in this room...just to keep our little group together might not be viable."

Silence and horror washed over their small group.

9S cursed. "I hadn't thought of that. I...I thought we'd...we'd all..."

2B held tightly to his hand. "I'm not letting go. They can fight me."

A2 sputtered a laugh. "Damn...well, that's one way, I suppose."

Others in the room weren't so optimistic.

"What are we supposed to do in the outside world?" 801S asked in horror.

11B had a huge frown on her face. "I do not wish to be a 'child'. I was trained to be a soldier. This notion is ridiculous."

"This is madness!" 4B completely lost her composure. "Not fight anymore!? That's our entire _life's purpose_!! We're _soldiers_!!"

Agreements went up from many in the area, particularly amongst the A, B, and D units.

9S looked confused. "I thought they'd be happy..."

A4 looked concerned. "Everyone's starting to panic..."

"Can't blame them, really..." 2B mused. "But I hadn't thought the reaction would be this bad."

A2 shrugged. "We're headed out into the 'great unknown'. They're probably fucking terrified."

The whispers and questions had grown in both intensity and volume as the kids ranging from age eight to age 17 started to question the future.

They never had to think about the future before; they lived either in the facility or on the battlefield and didn't even know if they would live through the next battle.

To them, what they were being told was something they couldn't quite wrap their heads around.

They had to leave the Facility?

They had to live as "normal" kids?

_How!?_

"I don't want to!"

"Shh! We can't defy orders!"

"This isn't an order...it's an ultimatum!"

"I don't want to stop, either! This place is all I know!"

"Fighting is all I know! It's all I need!"

2B and 9S exchanged worried looks, both slightly pale at the increasing cries of distress from their comrades.

Had it been a mistake? But they just wanted to be more than soldiers...they wanted to _live_ even though they had been created just to be disposable soldiers.

Was that so wrong?

A2 was the one who brought them to the present. "I know what you two are thinking, and it ain't true. We ain't wrong. There's nothing wrong with wanting to fucking _live_. Even if we were created for war, we're still damn _kids_. The seven of us have seen and heard of what's out there...our actions weren't wrong."

9S nodded as he swallowed down his rising panic and held tightly to 2B's hand. _We weren't wrong...and as long as I have Twoobs, I'll be okay._

2B squeezed his hand back. _I'm scared, but it's not wrong. A part of me never wanted to fight in the first place...always hated the battlefield. I hated having to suppress my emotions, especially around Nines._

It had been something she had slowly come out of over the last couple weeks, and then especially after their encounter with 64B and 8H, and then the resulting clash with 9S's existential crisis.

9S looked at her, his face pale. "It...it was the right thing, Twoobs?"

2B took a deep breath to calm her nerves, then managed a small yet still slightly nervous smile back at him. "Yea."

Before the rest of the kids could descend into _complete_ panic and chaos, Commander White regained control of them.

"ENOUGH!" White barked.

The room fell silent, though there was an occasional, terrified whisper here and there.

"I have no control over this. Those in the 15-19 Squadron aged seventeen..."

As there were no 18 or 19 year olds alive who were left in that group, after all.

"...may be able to continue on in the Allied military should they desire. Everyone else will be released into the non-military world. My hands are tied on this, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it."

Another wave of fearful mumbling rippled through the kids in the room.

"You are all to pack what belongings you have and rendezvous at the ground hangar for transport out of the facility. You have an hour, though I doubt you'll need that long. A sweep will occur to make sure that _all_ of you are present and accounted for. That is your final order from me as your Commander."

2B blinked tears from her eyes. _I want this...I really do. And I'm scared, but I'll be with Nines and the others. But still, I also feel this...sadness for leaving._

Many of the other kids had similar reactions of either pushing back tears or moments away from fully panicking.

They couldn't have known, but the Facility had been the only "home" they knew of, which was why they felt that way about it.

Even 6O chuckled tearfully. "It's weird...but I...I don't want to leave."

21O nodded in agreement. "I understand."

"Fuck this place." A2 huffed, but the way she crossed her arms was a telltale sign of insecurity to those who knew her.

Commander White looked over the kids. Then, she put her feet together, and tapped her fist to her left pectoral. "It was a pleasure leading you all. Glory to Mankind!"

As one, the room mirrored the salute and a range of voices cried out in varying degrees of distress:

"Glory to Mankind!!"

It was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically, General Red isn't an OC either. I debated on whether or not to make Red a male or female, but just wound up with going with a man since it matched more of what the story needed. The character was based off the "Server" (which took the form of those two creepy girls) in the game.
> 
> I also might edit this chapter at some point to add more to it (or perhaps write a side-story) because as I proofread it, I don't feel like it captured the emotion I wanted it to capture (outside of our protagonists).


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!
> 
> Chapter warnings: Some existentialism (and one final shot a breaking the fourth wall) at the end.

* * *

Everything had felt like organized chaos to the kids; the trip to the hospital wasn't too bad since it wasn't much different from their physical check-ups in having blood drawn, blood pressure checked, lung function, ect.

The problem occurred when it became obvious that their sheer numbers meant they would have to be split up to go to temporary arrangements at places like churches and orphanages with room for them until more permanent solutions could be found.

In their own 9-14 Squadron, they had eight A-units, sixteen B-units, four D-units, six S-units, and four O-units for a total of 38. There used to be around 40 of them before the last deployment they ever had, but these were their current numbers.

There were only around 20 people in Squadron 15-19, but there were also 40 more children in the pre-squad 4-8.

Over 118 kids who would have to be divvied up amongst locations, plus about another 12 who were in incubators/test-tubes in the Facility as ethics committees fought over whether to pull the plug on them or eject them at their current "age".

9S snuck back over to where their group was sitting in a huddled group in the ER waiting room after having been all physically cleared by the doctors.

"Well?" A2 half demanded.

9S sat down next to 2B on the floor since there weren't enough chairs for all of the kids, thus they had an area of space scattered throughout the room. "The adults plan on splitting us. Sounds like they'll be sending the really little ones into foster homes already. There were people who wanted to take them in ever since the entire 'child soldiers' thing was confirmed."

6O shifted nervously. "What...what about us?"

9S pulled his knees to his chest nervously. "They're still figuring it out. Sounds like they'll be dividing us into smaller groups and sending us to 'churches' and 'war orphanages' for the time being, then from there we might get split up even more."

"Nearby?" 2B inquired.

9S shook his head as he buried his face in his knees. "All over the country, it sounds like. We're in the USA. It's a really big region."

A2 cursed.

32S hugged himself. "We...we'll be split up? All of us?"

A4 bit her lip. "I...don't want to be separated. Do we get any say in it?"

9S shrugged from his fetal position. "I didn't hear the adults say one way or another."

2B shifted closer to him both to provide and to seek comfort. "Maybe...maybe if we ask, we can at least all be sent to the same area?"

After all, their group was probably the only one which really cared whether or not they were separated. The other kids didn't really have groups like they did with the exception of a few in the 15-19 Squadron.

Before any of them could say another word, a familiar voice piped up near them.

"Hey...can I sit here?"

A2 glanced over, then shrugged. "Free world now, 4S. Sit wherever the hell you want."

4S nodded and took a seat on the ground near A2. "I overheard 9S talking about the adults' plan to send us to orphanages."

A2 quirked a brow at him. "You're taking this rather well."

4S shrugged. "I'm curious about gathering data on the world of 'normal' kids'. Oh...I suppose I'll be living in it, too. Also, I don't really have any 'friends' to risk losing. You're probably the closest thing I have to a friend, A2."

"What...cause I looked the other way a few fucking times during training?"

4S nodded. "Perhaps. I figured that if I sat here with you and your friends, maybe I would wind up near you all."

Nobody had any objections, as 4S was typically a rather mellow kid to be around.

2B had to admit that the boy's idea had merit. "If we stick together, then maybe we can all be sent to the same church or orphanage."

9S shivered. "Really didn't plan this far ahead..."

A2 wanted to snap at him or ask where the hell he _thought_ they would end up after they were freed from the facility, but honestly none of them had any real idea of what would happen.

They were all alive, and for the moment, they were together.

Even though they were afraid of being separated.

The other kids in the room were more afraid of what was going to happen to them and how they would live without a battlefield, but their group was different.

...except for their recent addition of 4S, who actually appeared to be looking forward to it...

6O groaned. "It just feels like everything is happening so _fast_! Do decisions really happen this quickly? This morning, we were eating in the mess hall and enjoying our downtime of no combat...and this afternoon, we were fed something which tasted even _worse_ than mess hall meals, poked and prodded, and now we might be split up!"

21O patted her friend on the shoulder, but she had no comforting words she could share due to her own anxieties and worries.

"I don't think it was a spontaneous decision." 9S said wearily. "We haven't been deployed for a month...nobody had. And the outside world was going haywire when they found out about us."

He didn't care that 4S was hearing this and would probably realize that they had a hand in orchestrating the escape, being the sharp boy he was.

After all, it had already happened; they couldn't be killed or punished for what they had done to escape the facility and the never-ending cycle of combat and death.

If 4S did suspect it, he didn't say anything. He did give 9S a curious look, but wisely kept his mouth shut.

"They've probably been trying to figure out what to do with all of us. 64B and 8H might have given them a few numbers to work with, but everything else was hearsay." 9S did have affection for his entire group, but more than anything else, he didn't want to be separated from 2B.

That would be torture.

So, he rested his forehead on his knees again. _Twoobs is my light...please don't take that away! I almost lost her once...well, more than once if every excursion to the battlefield counts..._

2B wrapped her arm around 9S's shoulders. _I don't want to be split apart from Nines. He's still the sun. My light. And I still want to protect him._

The others were also caught up in their thoughts as they huddled together, easily including their additional member since he also seemed to seek companionship in his own awkward sort of way.

A2 did not like the uncertainty, and she certainly didn't like seeing her friends so worried. So, she stood up (much to the surprise of the group), and went over to where some members of the military were speaking with the doctors and a few other adults.

She really didn't care who was who, and hadn't really been one to obey authority anyway, so there was only one plan in her mind on how to set things straight.

"So, hey." A2 stopped near them and crossed her arms.

The adults stopped talking and looked at her as she now had their attention. The military personnel looked a little surprised that one of the child soldiers was "talking out of turn", but the doctors didn't see any issue with it.

"Look, there's a lot of shit we're not being told, and I don't give a fuck on the exact ins and outs of it."

A few of the military personnel looked gobsmacked by her language and audacity.

A2 honestly didn't give a whit. "My friends and I know we're gonna be shipped off to some orphanage, and we don't want to be separated. There are seven...well, eight of us now. Can we be put in the same place?"

There was an awkward silence.

A2 sighed, then added: "Please?"

One of the adults who wasn't in uniform (from social services, not that A2 would know that), nodded her head. "I don't see why not. This is only temporary, and I can't guarantee you'll all go to the same foster house...not many fosters take on more than two or three kids. However, we can ensure that you will all at least be located in the same area if that's what you're worried about."

A2 grinned. "Got it in one, lady! Thanks! That's us, over there...or should I just list off our names?"

The woman had a datapad in her hand, so she lifted it up. "You can let me know who you are. Names...you do know those aren't actual names, correct?"

"Yea, well...they're the only names we've ever had. If someone wants to give us a real name...I mean, I don't give two shits, but I think a couple of my pals are looking forward to an actual name." A2 had heard 2B talk about it numerous times...

The woman smiled. "Naming is usually done by the parents, but in this case, I suppose we can let either the orphanage or foster home choose...or you can choose. In any case, who are you and your friends?"

"I'm A2. The rest of us is A4, 9S, 2B, 6O, 21O, 32S, and 4S. Got all that, lady?"

The woman chuckled, not the least bit put off by the curt attitude as she typed it all out, then repeated the names/designations to make sure she had it correct.

A2 grinned and nodded in confirmation upon hearing all their names.

"I will do my best to ensure that you are all placed in the same orphanage for starters. Again, you might be split up when things calm down in the war and you are given foster homes, but many war orphanages are built and staffed for dozens of kids. I'm sure I can find one which can fit all of you."

A2 heard some of the doubt in the woman's voice, so she clarified. "Cool. Look, if you can't get us _all_ together...then at least get 9S and 2B together. Those two are like...joined at the hip. Also, me and A4. As well as 6O, 21O, and 32S."

The woman made note of that, then showed the datapad to A2 to confirm that she entered the information properly in the notes. "You're a perceptive one. There is a chance I won't be able to find a place with eight spots...I just didn't wish to disappoint you. That said, I _will_ try my best. The makeshift locations you will all be going to for the next couple of nights will at least take a large number of war orphans, so you'll at least be together for the next few days."

"Got'cha. Thanks, lady!" A2 beamed, then turned and went back to the (stunned) group.

4S was the first to break the silence. "Why were you talking with the adults?"

A2 sat down with a shit-eating grin. "Told 'em to put us together."

9S looked up from his knees while 2B started at first and then smiled gratefully.

A4 chuckled. "You always were one to be direct..."

"And?" 32S asked anxiously.

"She said she'll get us in the same area, at least. And to make sure that in the least, the little brat and 2B can stay together. That we'll all be together for the next couple days, and whatever orphanages and foster homes we go to will be close toge--OOF!"

The last part was because 9S had lunged and hugged her.

"Thank you! Thank you!" 9S sobbed. "Thank you, A2!" _I won't be separated from Twoobs...I won't lose her!_

2B also chimed in, tears in her eyes. "From me, as well...thank you, A2. You're a great friend."

A2 cursed under her breath even as the others giggled in a release of nervous tension at hearing that they could all be together. "Uh...yea...stop bawling on me, brat."

9S sniffled as he flushed slightly, but it took him a couple moments before he finally pulled back slightly as he sniffled a few more times. "Thank you, thank you..."

A2 rolled her eyes, then ruffled his hair. "I don't do 'mushy' stuff. But...no problem. Like I've said before, you're a little shit, but you're _our_ little shit."

Chortles went up from the group.

9S finally pulled away completely as he wiped his eyes. "And you've got a dirty mouth, but we wouldn't have you any other way. You've helped me more than you might think, A2. Or maybe I can call you..."

"Give me a fucking nickname and I'll punch you."

2B laughed as she tugged 9S back to sit down by her. "Alright, stop teasing A2, Nines. We all get to stay together for the time being, and even if we're split up, we'll still be in the same general area."

A4 giggled at A2's disgruntled look. "Honestly, A2...you _have_ done a lot to help what with your brutal honesty and all..."

"Oh stuff it." A2 muttered, her face red.

"I'm glad." 32S said quietly as he leaned against 6O. "We don't have to be split up."

6O patted him on the head. "Yup!"

21O smiled as she watched. "You two are practically siblings, already."

32S looked up in shock, then over at 6O. When she nodded, he merely let out a sigh of contentment.

A4 was whispering to A2 in a slightly teasing tone, which made the latter make a playful yet rude gesture at her.

2B looked at 9S, then pulled him into a hug.

"Uh...Twoobs?" It wasn't as if she hadn't initiated contact with him before, but usually she hesitated more.

2B smiled and closed her eyes. "We're free now, Nines. Nobody is going to yell at us for showing affection. I...I don't have to suppress my emotions anymore." _If you get sad, I don't have to settle for just a pat on the head or a touch in the back. I can comfort you properly. I'll protect you, Nines. Sometimes I may mess up or not know how to react, but with you...I just feel I can be "myself"._

9S chuckled wetly as his grip on her tightened in the hug. "I'm glad...I could get used to this. Definitely." _This works. Things are still a little uncertain, but we'll all be together. And more importantly, I'll be with Twoobs no matter what. I'm still a little scared of what's to come, but that's because we don't have an official direction._

Many of them felt like that, as well.

There was no longer a designated "enemy" to fight; no war to battle in.

There was no simple objective or cause.

On the other hand, they, at least, had each other as a reason to live.

It was a start in their journey of freedom, and perhaps even their time in the facility wasn't meaningless.

After all, they had only been able to meet one another because of that.

Feelings and emotions can give way to finding a meaning, even if it's for the biggest mystery of all: the mystery of life and purpose.

_...Don't you agree?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's the beginning of their journey! Erm...I mean the end (at least, in regards to the facility and the war).  
> RIP The Fourth Wall. XD
> 
> I considered going further and writing more (or a sequel) involving where they all wind up and whatnot, but it just didn't feel right to do so as part of this story.  
> Perhaps I'll do some little one-shots of their post-facility adventures (as I had planned on the pods adopting at least 2B and 9S, and even went so far as to come up with names for them all), but as for this story, I'm leaving things were it is.  
> I had originally planned on 4S being more prominent in the story (especially with his mention in the first chapter), but 32S took that spot. Oops.
> 
> Big thanks to those who stuck with the story! All you silent readers, commenters, bookmarks, and kudoses (is that a word? Eh, whatever). I was hesitant to post this at first even though it was my NaNoWriMo 2019 project, but I'm glad that it was well received. Thank you!


End file.
